Trea Bradley was born on November 7, making Danielle and Clemmie parents and changing their lives forever. Danielle’s first sign of labor manifested as erratic contractions and significant back pain. This was on Friday afternoon, November 6. The pain was so consistent that she had trouble deciphering when she was having contractions. She was intentional with her positions in the hopes her baby would get himself squared away. She spent time in the shower to help her cope with the contractions, and even got sick from the pain. They called the midwife and decided to head to the hospital, arriving at 10:00 that night. Danielle was dilated 3 cm at her previous appointment, so when her midwife checked and measured her cervix at 4 cm, it wasn’t the good news she was hoping for. She kept her attitude positive as she dressed in her labor gown and completed the admissions process. Danielle felt a lot of pain in her left hip with her contractions so we incorporated positions that would move her baby off of the left side. Warm compresses and additional shower time were a temporary relief, but ultimately couldn’t touch the hip pain. Danielle was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and decided an epidural would be a good tool to help the process. She would get rest and her pelvis would get complete relaxation too. 

By 1:00 that night, Danielle was dilated 5 cm. Progress was being made and her spirits were high. Then about 30 minutes later her water broke spontaneously. Another positive! There was some meconium so a pediatrician would attend the birth, but all in all things were looking good. Her midwife verified that Trae was looking at his mom’s right hip, thus causing the left hip pain with the back of his head. So we cycled Danielle through various positions to encourage her baby’s rotation and descent. We used a peanut ball, some pillows, the stirrups, and even intentional leg positioning. And by 6:15 am, Danielle was dilated 8 cm! her midwives changed shifts and she looked forward to welcoming her baby that morning. At least that was the assumption. 

But after four hours, with no cervical change, and contractions that had spread apart, her midwife and doctor felt it was time to incorporate some Pitocin. A little more power to her contractions might be the key to opening her cervix and maneuvering her son into a more optimal birth position. And it seemed to work because an hour later she was 9 cm and her baby was at 0 station. It took another 2 ½ hours after that, but Danielle got the excellent news that she was fully dilated and her baby’s head was at +2 station! This was a huge landmark and a goal she had been working toward for over 24 hours! But then it was time to push. And that would prove to be a whole new challenging adventure. Danielle gave her first push at 2:20 pm. And she pushed in every position imaginable and even used the rebozo to tug of war push. Her baby was moving but very gradually, and Danielle was exhausted. After nearly 3 hours of pushing and a heartfelt conversation with her doctor, they decided some help with the vacuum would facilitate a vaginal birth. Danielle began to feel the pain of her contractions but she mustered her courage and listened to her doctor, and she drew from a deep well of strength to push her baby out!

Trea Bradley was born at 5:21 pm and was a little stunned at first. He needed to be reminded how to breath but transitioned well with some nursery time. Thankfully Danielle and Clemmie were able to savor a few minutes holding and touching their newborn son. That separation is always so difficult, but once again, Danielle summoned her courage to do the hard thing. Trea weighed 7 lb. 5 oz. and was 21 ½ in. long. He was the perfect size, which helped give the best chance for a vaginal birth! It’s worth noting that Danielle had an amazing labor soundtrack. We heard songs by Queen cycle through the hours she pushed and when she welcomed her son we could hear, “We Are the Champions” playing in the background, the perfect song. Danielle was a champion through her labor. She persevered through a lot. She missed several meals (a clear tray of food doesn’t count). She had to change her plan and be open to what her baby needed both during her birth and the immediate postpartum. She put her own wants aside and made sure her son at the best start and all the support necessary. That is a true mom skill. And Clemmie was such a steadfast partner! He never left Danielle’s side. We had to nag him to go get food and he hardly slept. He wanted so badly to be present for Danielle. And while I don’t recommend foregoing food and sleep for the woman you love, if that was a barometer, his love for his wife and son are off the charts. You make such an amazing team. Thank you for allowing me to be a little part of it.

This little boy was so eager to see the results of the presidential election, he came over a month early! Of course, we all know the outcome had not been resolved that night but he was here nonetheless! And here is how it all happened. Stacy and Matt were repeat clients of mine, but this pregnancy was definitely not a repeat of the first. Not a bit of it was the same! This baby and the pregnancy all occurred over the course of the COVID-19 pandemic so that affected things. And this time around, Stacy had some alarming preterm contractions on October 24. She was only 34w3d along so buying more time for her baby boy to cook was ideal. Thankfully, iv fluids helped to settle things down enough to go home, and a steroid shot for good measure would help ensure his lungs were ready when he was. And Stacy was already dilated 3 cm so there was also that! Needless to say, the remaining weeks of the pregnancy brought an elevated level of vigilance and worry.

So when Stacy noticed some bleeding 10 days later she did not hesitate to call her midwife. They were instructed to go to the hospital and get checked out, and soon after she arrived Stacy felt the familiar roll of contractions. They were mild, but they were there. Stacy was 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced and her midwife told her that she would not be going home. She might be monitored until delivery unless she was in labor and would birth that night. Believe it or not, that still remained to be seen. Stacy wasn’t even sure herself, whether she was in labor. But within a couple of hours that changed. Just before 1:00 am, Matt sent me a text that they were pretty sure the baby was coming later that day. Stacy also happened to be 6 cm and 100% effaced so it was definitely labor! I arrived 20 minutes later. Thank goodness I live close.

Stacy felt a lot of worry and anxiety in this labor. Her preterm labor contractions and bleeding, and now facing the reality of a late preterm birth had her struggling to feel calm and safe. She felt a nap and the opportunity to regroup would be instrumental in her mental and emotional readiness to welcome her son. She requested an epidural and the wheels were rapidly set in motion to make it happen. Stacy’s epidural was in place by 1:25am. Naptime! Or so she thought. Her son’s heart rate dipped from the strong contractions and his rapid descent, so everyone watched him closely, while also readying the delivery cart. We knew Stacy would be meeting her son very soon, even if she didn’t realize it. And 40 minutes after the epidural was placed and before the pump was set up, Stacy was fully dilated and feeling a lot or pressure! It was time!

Stacy felt a lot of worry and anxiety in this labor. Her preterm labor contractions and bleeding, and now facing the reality of a late preterm birth had her struggling to feel calm and safe. She felt a nap and the opportunity to regroup would be instrumental in her mental and emotional readiness to welcome her son. She requested an epidural and the wheels were rapidly set in motion to make it happen. Stacy’s epidural was in place by 1:25am. Naptime! Or so she thought. Her son’s heart rate dipped from the strong contractions and his rapid descent, so everyone watched him closely, while also readying the delivery cart. We knew Stacy would be meeting her son very soon, even if she didn’t realize it. And 40 minutes after the epidural was placed and before the pump was set up, Stacy was fully dilated and feeling a lot or pressure! It was time!

The relief that washed over Stacy and Matt was intense as they took in their perfect and healthy son who had them worried sick just a couple of weeks before. He latched in his perfect time at 3:00 am, and finally Stacy was the image of peace and serenity that she had evaded her. This baby’s birth was a master class on the importance of letting go and greeting your birth journey with open hands and an open mind and heart. She was patient, trusting, courageous, discerning, and accepting of the path her baby chose for himself. Their sweet loving relief was clear to me as I saw Matt’s lovestruck grin looking into his son’s squinty eyes, and in the way Stacy cradled her son confidently when just a couple of hours earlier she cradled her belly in anxiousness and fear. Paxton was born in his perfect time and it was beautiful. 

Proud big sister

Alana and Matt were third-time clients of mine, so we eased into a comfortable dynamic from the start. Thankfully, COVID restrictions had been lifted at Alana’s chosen birthplace so as to allow in-person doula support. We rejoiced at the opportunity to be a birth team for the third time. As a woman who had given birth twice already, Alana’s body did a lot of prep work leading up to labor. She felt more contractions and twinges, and accepted them as par for the course. Alana knew that she wanted to labor at home as long as possible for she had no interest in breathing through contractions with a mask over her mouth and nose. She also desired to be upright and moving for all of it—NST or not. And we supported her in her wishes and formulated a plan to best execute them, namely laboring at home until active labor and having a solid childcare plan for the other kids so she could leave quickly. Alana’s due date came and went, just like her others. And she waited and hoped to avoid the induction that had been penciled on the calendar at the 41w5d mark. A well-timed chiropractic visit (the day before the scheduled induction!) gave her the chance for one last adjustment as well as a face to face with me as I was arriving for my appointment as she was leaving hers!

And four hours later, Alana texted to tell me she was having real contractions. She wasn’t timing them yet but was stopping and breathing through them. Then two hours later, Matt texted asking me to come to the house. Things had escalated and they were lining up care for the kids as the grandparents were in route out of state. I left a short time later and arrived at 6:45 pm. I let myself in and found my way to Alana upstairs in the bathtub. During contractions, Alana rocked forward and back and breathed and moaned through the peaks as Matt was gently stroking her shoulders and cooling her with a washcloth. After one such contraction, Alana looked up at me and asked, “So when do we go to the hospital?” Coming from the woman who was bound and determined to stay home as long as absolutely possible, I took this is a sign it was close to that time. And the contractions were closer than Alana realized because when I asked it was Matt who corrected her by saying they were well under the 5-minute mark. Within 30 minutes of my arrival, we were on our way out the door.

The car ride was intense, but it always is. Alana was relieved to be out of the car and walking. In fact, she insisted on walking the whole way, declining a wheelchair. A contraction brought her to her hands and knees in the foyer, and then another forced a pause as she leaned through it. But she managed her way to the unit with just one more. Alana was shown to her room where she made a beeline for the bathroom. And we heard a loud splash a few seconds later. Her water had broken and Alana emerged feeling a lot more pressure. Alana crawled upon the bed while her nurse strapped the monitor around her belly for the NST as Alana felt the urge to bear down. The midwife showed up at that precise moment and confirmed that Alana was fully dilated at 7:55 pm! (It was quite clear though, even without an exam.)

Alana moved from hands and knees to side-lying and immediately began to push. And she brought her baby into the world in just a few contractions. Archie Lee was born at 8:10 pm and shortly after, Matt declared, “It’s a boy!” He embraced Alana and their new baby boy as the oxytocin, the awe, and the sheer exhilaration of birth to wash over them. Archie drifted off to a cat nap initially but perked up and latched by 8:30. He apparently just needed a few moments to acclimate being born. He weighed 8 lb. 5.8 oz. and measured 21.25 in. long.

Alana moved from hands and knees to side-lying and immediately began to push. And she brought her baby into the world in just a few contractions. Archie Lee was born at 8:10 pm and shortly after, Matt declared, “It’s a boy!” He embraced Alana and their new baby boy as the oxytocin, the awe, and the sheer exhilaration of birth to wash over them. Archie drifted off to a cat nap initially but perked up and latched by 8:30. He apparently just needed a few moments to acclimate being born. He weighed 8 lb. 5.8 oz. and measured 21.25 in. long.

It’s births like Archie’s that illustrate the true meaning of perfect timing. Alana’s parents arrived immediately after I did, literally following my car down their street, freeing up Alana and Matt to make a speedy exit. Alana labored so long at home she managed to sidestep some hospital procedures she just assumed skip anyway, which had been her plan all along. She basically walked in and had a baby and as I recall we had a conversation at her prenatal meeting about how that would be ideal. And let’s not forget that Archie happened to be born within 12 hours of when Alana was to report to the hospital for her induction! She was resolute and determined, as I have always known her to be. But she was also patient as she waited for her baby to choose whether he would come on his own or need a little nudge. And in a confusing time with visitor restrictions, social distancing and masks, it was extra special to witness such beauty and normalcy through birth—for birth has not changed. Alana’s body labored the same as it would have, pandemic or not. And I am grateful for the reassurance that certainty brings.

What a journey it has been to serve this couple into parenthood! Their most recent birth was my fourth time as their doula, and their fifth child. As repeat clients, we spent equal time at the prenatal visit discussing birth preferences and circumstances, as well as catching up on each other’s’ kids and lives. Jessica had chosen to birth with the same midwifery group that had taken such wonderful care of her several times before. But since every pregnancy and birth are different, this time Jessica had some blood pressure issues that had her providers recommending induction. This was new and different and would be her first time induced as well as the first baby to arrive early (at 39 weeks). Her other babies had all been born past their due dates. We knew this birth would be an adventure unlike any of the others. And given Jessica’s history with short active labors, I wanted to be by her side earlier rather than later in the induction process.

 I received updates from the start. Things began with a balloon and a low dose of pitocin. Jessica was 1 cm dilated so there was prep work to do before full-on labor. It was a busy night on the unit, so it took several hours to get the pitocin going. But it began flowing in her i.v. around 3:15 am. Within an hour, Jessica felt a difference as the contractions wrapped around from her back to her front. Then at 6:45 am the balloon fell out and she was dilated 6 cm and 60% effaced. Jeff went home to help get the kids off to school while I gathered my things and headed to the hospital. Once everyone was assembled, the midwife broke Jessica’s water to see if that might begin the process. Pitocin was maintained at a low dose so we all hoped (and half expected) that Jessica’s uterus would take off into labor with little prodding. We got creative with positioning the monitor on the baby, while Jessica moved into various positions to encourage his descent upon her cervix. We used counter pressure (aka tennis balls in a sock), and essential oils, not to mention very intentional labor positions (aka the lunge!). But 6 hours later Jessica’s cervix was still at 6 cm dilation. The process had been held up literally by her baby’s hand by his head! So the doctor was able to move the hand aside in the hopes that it would salvage her vaginal birth. His heart rate had been dropping as well, sometimes alarmingly, so a c-section was not off the table. The hand was moved at 3:50 pm and we waited and hoped.

The pitocin was incrementally raised, as Jessica breathed through growing contractions. By 5:35 pm she was dilated 7 cm, finally breaking the seal of 6 cm at which she had been sitting for most of the day. Soon after that, Jessica began the shakes of transition as her labor overtook her. A particularly well-versed nurse became a huge help in shuffling Jessica through a variety of labor positions—upright throne, side-lying with the peanut ball, being some. Then suddenly, Jessica felt immense pressure in her bottom, so in an attempt to bring some relief, her nurse assisted in shifting her over to the other side. But during the shift, her baby dropped down prompting Jessica to say, “He’s coming” as her body involuntarily bore down. The nurse yanked the emergency cord sending the OB, midwife, and several nurses running. 

Jessica’s baby was indeed right there, and pretty much as soon as the midwife got her gloves on and leaned in, baby Trager was born at 6:37 pm. That was just over 90 minutes after her hand was moved away from his face! Jessica and Jeff cooed and drank in every part of their newest baby, giving him every bit as much awe and wonder as they did their first, second, third, and fourth. Trager weighed 6 lb. 11 oz. and measured 20 in. long. And he latched easily shortly after birth. Once she was settled with Trager at the breast, Jeff left to grab some dinner for Jessica. Their partnership is a lovely thing to watch. In labor, or in their daily life. It’s a well-oiled machine. Five sweet children have oiled that machine! Jessica always inspires me with her patience and intuitive wisdom. She listens to her body. She stays cool and doesn’t get riled. And Jeff is as steadfast a partner as they come. Thank you for the honor of serving your family again! And thank you for the reminder that every baby has their own birth story, no matter how many babies have come before them.

First FaceTime to met adoring big siblings!

Anelisa and AJ are parents! They welcomed their son, Layton Grey on 10-10-20, a really neat sequence of digits for a birthday, don’t you think? They also happened to be students in my summer 8-week BirthWorks series. Anelisa felt contractions off and on and practiced discipline in minimizing and ignoring them, although she was still quite excited and ready to meet her baby. Her cervix did some preparing ahead of time, dilated to 2 cm at her 38-week appointment, and she left that day wondering if she would make it to her next appointment. Well, although she had an eventful week of contractions and suspected water leaking, she left her 39-week appointment dilated 2.5 cm and 80% effaced. Her doctor predicted the baby would come in the next couple of days but I always hesitant to jump on board with such predictions as they often leave expectant moms frustrated and disappointed when they aren’t true. But Anelisa maintained a laidback attitude and knew her baby would come at his right time. And it just so happened that her doctor was right…

About 24 hours later, on Oct. 10 she sent a text telling me she was having regular contractions at the 7-minute interval, not quite a minute long. She put in a few hours at work that morning, and with the opportunity to really tune in to her body, she had a strong inkling it was the real deal. And 2 hours later, at 4:30 pm, Anelisa and AJ were ready for me to head to their home for labor support! I arrived to find Anelisa draped over the birth ball breathing calmly through contractions. She was chatting in between and handling things well. She was definitely laboring. And over the course of those two hours together in their home, Anelisa’s demeanor changed from a chipper chatty one, to a concerned and serious one. With strong contractions every 3 minutes, lasting about 70 seconds, we were out the door and at the hospital by 8:00 pm. And Anelisa was dilated 5 cm and so relieved to know she had made good change! Once in her room, her thoughts moved towards an epidural. “I’m pretty sure that’s what I want.” She continued to breathe calmly through contractions that were demanding more of her than they did at home. And trying to labor on the monitor in bed can make the idea of an unmedicated birth seem much harder to execute. Her nurse made a call, but the CRNA was not available right away so the shower became the plan. We were also aware of Anelisa’s goal of an unmedicated labor and knew the shower would be a good place to continue her progress.

An hour in the shower was magic! Anelisa worked harder but felt relief from the warm water. And as she relaxed, she vocalized louder and deeper, expressing in her voice the changes happening within. She felt increased pressure and then we heard a splash (while she was in the shower, mind you)! Anelisa’s water had broken and the pressure that followed was a whole different level. She soon got out of the shower and was dilated 8 cm. She labored on her side and hands and knees, positions she moved into instinctively, and was fully dilated just 20 minutes later. The doctor was immensely supportive, allowing Anelisa to push in positions that felt best, with no counting or directing. And after just 30 minutes of pushing, she welcomed her son at 10:54 pm. Layton Grey weighed 7 lb. 11.2 oz. and was 20 in. long and had a full head of brown hair. The love overflowed as Anelisa and AJ looked with wonder into their son’s eyes and took in his features. They had done it! And they had done it so well. Anelisa didn’t get drawn into her labor too soon, conserving her physical and emotional energy so she had what she needed for later. She listened to her body and labored in ways that felt best, surrounded in loving support from start to finish. Thank you for the honor of serving your sweet family as it grew from two to three.

Candace and Jacob, welcomed their second child, Madeline Isabelle, on September 14! It felt like yesterday when I had attended the birth of their fistborn. Well, I guess in a way it had only a short time earlier, given how closely spaced their babies are. This was a clue from the start that Candace’s uterus would be up for the task and jump right back into the job of labor with little warning. This baby would come quickly, no doubt. The biggest challenge would be getting out the door in time with the logistical details of making sure big sister was taken care of. There were some big changes that occurred on the early side of this pregnancy. Candace’s midwives switched hospitals, they moved into a new house, and last but certainly not least, a pandemic swept the globe leaving hospitals and pregnant women confused and worried about how things would play out. But all in all, Candace and Jacob seemed to ride the tides of uncertainty with a grounded perspective and this would prove to be their greatest asset in labor.

Candace’s first labor was intense from the start, due to a membrane sweep that got her cervix all reactive with strong contractions that rivaled very active labor (but that weren’t). She was familiar with minimizing and ignoring, so when she first felt rhythmic contractions she shrugged them off. She texted me at 12:21 am on September 14 to tell me she “thought” she was having contractions, not even that she thought she was in labor. So she was draped over the birth ball as she waited to see if it was anything. I reminded her to hydrate and rest and if she felt strong contractions to get details in place so she could leave for the hospital. This was a second baby after all, and they have a way of coming quickly when they come. At 1:55 am another text came through telling me the midwife recommended she head in since she would need antibiotics. Her contractions were coming at a steady clip of 2-3 minutes, although not really taking her breath away yet. They followed the recommendation of the midwife and loaded in the car for the 25-minute drive to the hospital.

I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to head in so I texted to ask. With no response I just got in my car to meet them there. I was en route when I got the text at 2:36 am that she was feeling intense pelvic pressure. I was driving at the time and 10 minutes later right as I parked the car at the hospital, Jacob called to tell me Candace was just admitted and checked and dilated 8 cm. I could hear Candace in the background and she was much changed from when we had last communicated on the way to the hospital. Oh my word, I had to hurry! I ran to the main entrance to the hospital. Then waited to be let in by security. I ran upstairs to the unit and then waited to be admitted and given the bracelet granting me access to Candace’s room. Then I ran down the hall to her room (yes, all the way down the hall, it was so far!), knocked, opened the door right as the midwife was handing Madeline to Candace! I put down my things and rushed to Candace’s side.

Madeline was born at 2:48 am, 3 minutes after Jacob called me to tell me Candace was 8 cm. It was a whirlwind of a labor that had Candace clutching her baby with Jacob by her side, both with startled and joy-filled expressions on their faces. From start to finish this labor was not even 2 ½ hours long, and that is counting from the very first contraction when Candace was trying to figure out if she was having real contractions. Recalling the details of those first minutes, Candace had just gotten on the bed to be monitored laying on her side when her water broke. Laying down was intolerable to her at that point so she instinctively rolled over to her hands and knees and felt the urge to push. She pushed twice and Madeline entered the world. Jacob was able to look and see his baby’s head as it was emerging too. And Candace proved her midwife’s prediction made minutes prior during the exam. She said, “The good news is you’re going to have this baby in 10-15 minutes.” But in reality she had her baby in less than 5 minutes! Madeline weighed 7 lb. 13.4 oz. and measured 20 in. long. She had a head full of dark hair with dark eye brows to match, just like her mom. 

While her nurse worked on getting her admitted simultaneously while doing all of the immediate postpartum tasks, Candace and Jacob reveled in the birth and began talking through how they could be discharged as soon as possible. Yes, they were definitely veteran parents. A year of parenting had done them good! Shorter births are no less challenging. Many would say they are more difficult because so much is compressed in a short time. But Candace was a rock star as she labored, never taking things more seriously than necessary, and always getting the work done. I loved how her birth washed over her and left her wondering what happened. I love that her labor was fast and furious and she was grateful for it. I love that Jacob was beside her the whole way through, encouraging and rejoicing in the wonder of seeing his child being born. Women amaze me. And birth humbles me. I’m so grateful to have been there, even if it was right after.

Madeline now

Gabriela and Michael welcomed their daughter Aurelia Autumn on September 17. Gabriela had a medical reason for induction which had her at the hospital at 39 weeks. But she was open-minded and trusted her providers and she trusted her body. It would know what to do. After all, her body had been making some progress behind the scenes. It was dilated 3 cm at the start of the induction process. After talking through options with her midwife, the decision was made to begin with Pitocin and go from there. It was a gradual start with the dose slowly increasing until labor took hold. And several hours later, even though Gabriela was shaky and queasy, her cervix remained 3 cm dilated. She was 80% effaced though and we were hopeful things would kick into gear soon. 

About 90 minutes later, at 2:30 pm, Gabriela was contracting every 2 – 2 ½ minutes and having to breathe and focus. Her midwife stopped in to do an exam and confirmed that Gabriela was dilated 4-5 cm. They decided to break her water to keep the momentum moving forward and that is what really pushed her over the threshold into truly active labor. We first heard some sighs as Gabriela exhaled and she grew less patient with things. “I’m over these,” might have been uttered from her mouth between contractions. Things appeared to be moving quickly and Gabriela surely felt that way. But at 6:10 that evening she was dilated 5-6 cm and 90% effaced. She moved to her hands and knees to labor with more painful contractions, but it was a challenge to keep her baby monitored. So Gabriela turned over and reclined in the bed. She continued to exhale her sighs and dig deep as her contractions mounted higher. “I need something,” she told us. And then on the heels of that she growled, “This baby’s coming!” A quick check confirmed she was dilated 8 cm and her baby was at 0 station. It wouldn’t be long now! Gabriela grew nauseous and threw up as the midwife opened up the delivery table. And five minutes later she was fully dilated with her baby at +1 station.

Gabriela pushed in a variety of positions and even incorporated the rebozo. Clearly, her baby’s position was less than optimal, making her work much harder in second stage than expected. It would explain how incrementally she had dilated as well. After pushing nearly an hour and a half, the OB came in to evaluate and explore options. Mention was made of a possible vacuum assisted delivery, but just the mention of it seemed to be all Gabriela needed to actually NOT need it. The doctor’s face brightened as Gabriela pushed her baby into view with impressive commitment and vigor. And she brought her baby into the world a few contractions later at 9:31 pm. Aurelia was born with a head full of black hair and had rotated into the OA position. She was perfect, and she weighed in at 7 lb. 11 oz. and measured 20.5 in. long. 

Gabriela saw her natural birth through. And Even though she had to be induced. Even though she endured Pitocin. Even though her baby was a bit off kilter inside. Even though there was talk of a possible vacuum (and even a c-section)!  Even though she was surrounded in masked faces while a pandemic raged around the world. Even in spite of all of those things. Gabriela did it! And Michael stood strong by her side every breathe, every contraction, every stage. What a great team!

Aurelia Autumn now

Phoebe Lamar arrived in a way unlike any of her mother’s previous births. So many things were different—she was born during a pandemic, she was born at home, and she was a SHE! Although this was my third time to accompany Elizabeth and Tyler in birth, it by no means was a repeat of the other births. Every single birth journey is unique as every single baby is unique. Elizabeth was pregnant before COVID-19 took hold of the world. She had considered a homebirth previously, but once the pandemic had made its mark on the labor and delivery units of local hospitals, Elizabeth knew it was time to take her birth home. She knew who she wanted to have present and she knew they unfortunately, would not all be permitted if she gave birth in the hospital. She chose her homebirth midwife and was all set.

However, her pregnancy did not go without hiccups. She failed her glucose tolerance test and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Her midwife was not overly concerned and in time the erroneous readings were traced to a faulty glucometer. From that point on, Elizabeth’s sugars were great, as was her diet. She continued on with her pregnancy, going past her due date by over a week, which did not surprise us in the least since this had been her experience previously.

With the days closing in on an impending hospital transfer and induction, Elizabeth tried some natural methods to tip her uterus into labor. And the regimen recommended by her midwife did the trick because by 9:30 that night, Elizabeth and Tyler had retreated to their bedroom upstairs, out of sight and earshot of their other children who were in grandma’s care. Things ramped up rather quickly, and just before midnight the entire birth team was assembled in their home in the country. (Elizabeth was very thankful there was no active labor car ride necessary this time around.) They had drifted into a comfortable rhythm with each contraction. Elizabeth would cease her chatter and Tyler would step in closer to apply counter pressure to her back. Elizabeth was as expressive as usual between her contractions, but we were not fooled. She was being drawn in deeper before our eyes.

An hour later, with contractions coming every 2 ½ minutes, Elizabeth let the reality set in that “It’s going to be hard and I’m not excited about it.” Recognizing even the most subtle of signs, the midwives began to fill the tub. Sweat beaded on Elizabeth’s forehead and we applied a wet cold cloth. Her exhales morphed into “ohs” and her words between came slower and fewer. It became more difficult to remain even keeled and Elizabeth knew she wanted in the tub. Even though it wasn’t quite full, her midwives support her desire to get in, knowing that her intuition was the best guide. Elizabeth entered the tub at 3:35 am. Elizabeth leaned back against the tub wall, then she leaned forward and rocked on her hands and knees. We maintained our steady support as she drifted deeper. Her water broke at 4:07 am, we knew because Elizabeth told us so. And she was almost immediately overcome with a pushing contraction. I pushed against Elizabeth’s back as she felt the most intense pressure of all as her baby came through. And she soon gasped, “She’s coming! I can feel her,” as if to let us know so we could take our places, even though we were already there. And the head moved slowly out into the midwife’s hand, and another push brought Phoebe into the world at 4:18 am on September 8.

Elizabeth received her baby girl from under her leg and into her arms in true waterbirth style. “We have a girl!” she exclaimed looking up at Tyler, as if saying it made it real and true. This was the first girl after all boys, after all. So seeing (and feeling) is believing! The placenta was born just past 4:30 and there was no hurry to separate Phoebe from it, not from her mother. She rested in her arms and had her first meal of colostrum before any thought of anything else. Eventually Phoebe was weighed and examined. She came in at 8 lb. 4.8 oz. and measured 21 in. long, right as the sun was started to rise outside. Her brothers would be up soon along with the chickens and turkeys. We soon cleaned up and took our leave so the family could settle in with their newest addition, right as grandma was waking up. It was a beautiful birth and except for the masks on our faces, didn’t let on to the craziness of a pandemic that had overtaken our world. We felt the beauty that night. And the normalcy. And the love. Thank you for that. 

**All images courtesy of Amanda with Kimberlin Gray Photography: kimberlingrayphotography.com

Ember Mary-Ann changed the world forever when she arrived on August 6. Hailey had been a client of mine before so I knew the depth of her strength. The had given birth during a deployment and was an independent and capable woman. So when the restrictions came down during the pandemic, she was not concerned. She knew the support she would need and was also aware of what her children at home required. She had also taken up nursing school so that was an important part of her life in addition to her children. But over a month before her due date, Hailey was admitted for observation and a lab draw for suspected preeclampsia. The numbers weren’t good and after receiving a shot of steroids to speed up her baby’s lung development, she went home with plans to return the following day to reassess, midwife’s orders. Unfortunately, Hailey’s blood pressure numbers were even worse the following day so the decision was made to admit her for induction. She went home to coordinate care for her children, gathered up her things, ate, and returned to the hospital. Hailey embraced this change in plan and I was so proud of her for letting go and letting it happen.

A foley bulb was the first step in the induction process, in the hopes it would dilate and efface the cervix. But it didn’t go in since Hailey wasn’t dilated yet. So Cytotec was the plan to ripen her cervix. And only two doses would be needed, at that. Hailey’s blood pressure was so high that she was put on magnesium, with a foley catheter and compression devices on her legs to prevent clots. This was a far cry from her previous birth less than two years earlier—unencumbered, unmedicated, and without restrictions. But to her credit, Hailey walked this journey with her head held high and knowing in her heart that it was the best decision for the health of herself and her baby. I admired that in her. Around 2:00 am her water broke (at least in part) and with it came very strong contractions. So when Hailey’s midwife recommended an epidural to further assist in regulating her blood pressure, she was not opposed. Hailey was looking forward to getting some much-needed rest. 

However, rest was not to be. The epidural was placed by 2:40 am and Pitocin was added at 3:00 am to bring the contractions closer together. And very soon the contractions were coming every 3 minutes. And by the time Hailey was settled and we positioned her with a peanut ball between her legs to keep her pelvis open, she felt a lot of pressure and looked up at me to say, “I think she’s coming soon.” She felt a lot of pressure in her butt and vagina, and when her nurse came in to do an exam, she was shocked to find Hailey was dilated 8 ½ to 9 cm! It was only 3:54 am! Hailey had flown from 2 cm to nearly fully dilated in less than 2 hours! The midwife was called and they hurriedly set up the delivery table as Hailey breathed through growing pressure. She panted and blew but the urge to push grew stronger. The midwife arrived and put on her gloves right as Hailey said, “She’s there. I’m not pushing and she’s there.” She didn’t yell she just told us. And her midwife leaned in and in just 2-3 pushes with one contraction her little girl was born at 4:09 am. The sac broke right as Ember’s head emerged, a sight that is amazing every time. Hailey cradled her baby with awe saying, “Hey, Mama!” Ember was born at 35 weeks and 2 days weighing just 5 lbs. 1 oz. and measuring 19 in. long. Hailey marveled at her petite princess, “Her head fits in my hand,” she exclaimed. 

Ember needed some respiratory support at the warmer, but she was not apart from her mom for long. And once in her arms she was there to stay. Ember was latched at 4:40 am as Hailey lay back peacefully reflecting on her birth journey. It was so very different! The world was so very different. Her life circumstances were so very different. But at the core it was the same. Hailey trusted her body. She trusted her caregivers. She trusted her instincts. And she trusted her baby. And that walk of trust brought peace to a birth that might have been scary and stressful. It was beautiful to watch the unfolding of this birth and to see in the midst of so much uncertainty that Hailey still found peace in the journey. 

Ember today

Jennifer and Steven welcomed their third child, Grayson Anthony, on August 3! This was also my third time as their doula, and it is no secret how I love the richness of the relationships cultivated with my clients over subsequent pregnancies and births. Jennifer’s cervix gradually opened in the weeks before her due date, its familiar rhythm playing out. After all, Jennifer had always birthed her babies early. We were in touch a few days before, as she was feeling some cramps and sensations she wanted to talk through. Having babies previously doesn’t necessarily mean you know what to expect for each individual baby. But she trusted she would know when it was truly labor. And it turned out that she would have a definitive sign.

Then I got a text at 11:09 pm on August 2, just a couple days later. Jennifer’s water had broken! That settled it. Her baby would be coming soon. She went in shortly after since there were required antibiotics. But the silver lining was that they would save her from laboring actively in the car. She would just be a bit wet. Jennifer and Steven arrived within the hour and got settled in their hospital room. She was dilated 4 cm and 80% effaced, a very good starting place. Needless to say, with regular contractions already, albeit short ones, I left for the hospital. Third babies can be somewhat unpredictable. Who am I kidding? Really, all babies can keep us guessing.

I entered the room a short time later to find Jennifer’s contractions pounding out steadily every 3 minutes. She was sitting on the bed like a small buddha, inhaling and exhaling deeply with each contraction, then opening her eyes to rejoin the room in between. Her hair was tied back in a mom bun, for she knew the hard work that lay ahead. Her midwife was in the room with no plans to leave or stray very far. Jennifer rolled forward to labor over the birth ball as I found some piano music to play in the background. And by 3:00 am Jennifer was requesting earnestly that Steven stay close. Her contractions were washing over her and it took more effort for her to come up for air. She desired our hands nearby to hold or at least to touch her so she felt grounded and connected. Her quiet exhales had moved to sighs and at 3:26 am she was dilated to 6 cm.

 Jennifer followed her body as it pulled her deeper into labor. Her sounds shifted along with her demeanor and she progressed quickly before our eyes: 8 cm at 3:39 and then fully dilated by 3:44 am! The midwife edged closer pulling the delivery cart within arm’s reach. Pushing out her baby took more effort than expected as Jennifer clung to Steven’s hands over the ball. And when Grayson emerged it was clear why! He was born with his hand by his head! But because Jennifer was so controlled as she followed her body’s instinct to push there were no tears. Grayson arrived at 4:01 am to the awe and wonder of his adoring parents. Jennifer cried happy and relieved tears as she looked down upon her sweet baby, catching her breath as we all waited for her the pronouncement of gender. Jennifer found her way back down upon the bed cradling Grayson all the while. “You did a great job,” was all her midwife said as she stood by. The rest was left in our minds and hearts as we marveled at the beautiful birth we had just witnessed. And as if to seal the end up like a bow, Grayson was latched to his mother’s breast by 4:22! Oh, and he was born on his mom’s birthday. (At least labor was over before the sunrise on her special day!)

This sweet family is so special to me and every birth journey with them unique. Once again Jennifer showed the perfect balance of control and letting go as the waves grew higher and stronger around her and within her. But she never allowed them to carry her off to sea. They simply returned her to shore, babe in arms. Congratulations again!

Grayson today