Laura and Tyler have graduated to parent status with the arrival of their sweet Oliver Read on July 14! They were students in my 7-week series and the Spinning Babies parent class, so they were big on being as prepared as possible. But sometimes (oftentimes) babies have their own idea of how things will go, and Oliver was one of those babies.

Laura made it to her 39-week appointment wondering how much longer she had to go. Her baby was on the larger side, which in and of itself wasn’t a concern, but it meant an induction conversation might occur at her 40-week appointment. Laura wanted to try “all of the things” but I reminded her that labor was not something she could make happen and to spend her efforts more on pampering herself and enjoying time with Tyler before things changed in a big way.

And not 12 hours later, just past 8:00 am on July 13, I got a text from Laura saying, “today is the day!” I had just returned from being out of town 2 days before, so we were all very relieved for the timing. Plus, it meant that Laura managed to avoid an induction which was another bonus. Her contractions began around 2:00 am and had progressed to 3-4 minutes apart but were still short at 30-45 seconds. She ate breakfast and planned to labor at home as long as she could.

About 5 hours later an update from Laura had her contractions more frequent and intense but still short. She was hydrating, resting, and moving, and had the Spinning Babies know-how, but with 12 hours of little change in her contraction pattern it had her wondering if she might want to head in.

Laura spoke with her midwife just before 5:00 pm and she reminded her to eat and continue to hydrate and once the contractions were more consistent and intense to come in. At that point the contractions were 5 minutes apart and ranging from 50 seconds to 1:15 min. long.

And 3½ hours later she was ready to go to the hospital. She was confirmed dilated 3 cm just past 9:00 pm and they began the admissions process to stay and have a baby. Laura and Tyler labored several more hours through the early stuff, but by 3:00 am things had changed. Laura was dilated 5 cm and moving into active labor!

It was time to get moving so we had Laura lunge over the cub birthing chair while applying the heat pad to her back. Next, I did some belly sifting to help her baby move toward the left. And by 5:30 am Laura was doing the flying cowgirl. At 6:20 am she was dilated 5-6 cm, which wasn’t a big change. Her baby was lower though, and her cervix was 100% effaced, both good changes. She decided to have her water broken at that time in the hopes it would continue the forward momentum of her labor. She had already been at it for 28 hours, after all.

Tyler was so present to Laura. He kissed her between contractions and offered shoulder rubs and loving words of encouragement. He was an active partner as we helped Laura through various positions to further her labor and encourage their baby to navigate the pelvis. Around 7:00 am we sat the bed upright and tied the rebozo on the squat bar so Laura could use gravity and the rebozo during contractions but lay back upon the pillows between.

At 7:45 am Laura was ready for the shower. We set up some aromatherapy with valor and lavender on a washcloth, but it didn’t take but 25 minutes for Laura to realize the shower wasn’t helping. She got out and sat upon the birth ball facing Tyler. She was extremely tired and ready for relief. A cervical check helped bring clarity to her next steps: she was dilated 6 cm, although her baby was moving down. Laura was ready to get an epidural.

It worked well and soon she and Tyler had the chance to sleep. Her contractions spaced out, which can be a common result after an epidural, but pitocin was incorporated to bring them close again. And after just under an hour of a little bit of pitocin, Laura’s cervix dilated from 6 cm to 8.5-9cm! Her baby’s heart rate decelled which was the clue of rapid descent! Everyone was excited and we continued to use the peanut ball to change the angle of her pelvis to help the last bit of cervix slide away.

But her baby continued to have heart rate dips. They checked her cervix just before 12:00 and she was dilated 9 cm and her baby was at 0 station. They turned off the pitocin and gave her some fluids. And they proceeded with caution, knowing her baby didn’t love the big squeezes.

But three hours later, Laura still had a cervical lip. Her baby was a bit lower, so we tried a variety of positions to bring her to pushing. She did a right lunge over the peanut, then hands and knees. But when the doctor came in to do an exam, she was the same, and her baby’s heart rate kept dipping. He also confirmed that her baby’s head was asynclitic which can be a challenging position especially when coupled with a larger baby as well as being the first baby. He recommended a c-section but left open the possibility of a vaginal birth. He didn’t feel it was likely given the way Laura and Tyler’s baby was responding, so Laura and Tyler trusted the doctor’s recommendation and agreed to move forward with a c-section.

Laura and Tyler were at great peace with the decision and their excitement and relief over soon meeting their baby helped get them through the last few hoops required before going to the OR. The staff matched their excitement and were sure to keep the feeling of celebration in the space. It was a birth, after all!

Oliver Read was born at 4:26 pm wide-eyed and ready to take in the world! And he had amazing lashes, I might add! He weighed 8 lb. 1 oz., not quite as large as was expected. But his asynclitic presentation was definitely the culprit and made his and his mom’s journey much more involved. Oliver was in his mommy’s arms within minutes of coming out, and he had his daddy by his side through it all.

Laura did absolutely all she could to prepare for her birth, and at our postpartum visit she expressed to me how good she felt about the birth. Postpartum and breastfeeding were requiring her focus at the time, but she and Tyler were taking it day by day together, much as they took labor hour by hour together. It’s a beautiful thing to see new parents link arms and support each other through the early days. I’m so proud of them for that.

Moriah and Desmond met their son face to face on April 15, 2021 in a surprising and beautiful birth. Dorian Prince was well named as he entered the world the prince of his mother’s heart. I got a phone call from Desmond just past 9:00 am on April 14 that Moriah thought her water had broken. The plan was to rest until she felt notable contractions and since she had a midwife appointment later that morning she would plan to go if labor hadn’t really taken hold.

At her appointment she was dilated 3 cm. The midwife confirmed that her water had begun to break and since she had tested positive for Group B strep, she was sent to the hospital to be admitted. Desmond called to keep me up to date and to share that Moriah was given space and time at the hospital to see if she would naturally go into active labor. Her midwife broke the forebag, then Moriah used a breast pump to bring on contractions and walked the halls of the unit. But by 9:40 that night just dilated 4 cm, Pitocin was recommended to bring stronger contractions. They started slowly and raised it gradually. Moriah rested initially but within two hours she was in active labor. She breathed in sighs through her contractions and nausea overcame her, making her vomit at midnight. 

The wireless monitor gave much freedom as Moriah moved her way through labor. And she was dilated to 5 cm by 1:00 am. She labored on her hands and knees over the peanut ball, and then labored sitting upright in the bed. By 2:00 am there were late decels in her baby’s heart rate but fluids leveled it out just fine.

Her next go-to was the shower at 3:00. But it was difficult to trace her baby’s heart rate, and Moriah had to return to the bed for a better strip. She hit a wall there and confessed to us that she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take it. She was tired and labor was painful. We recommended she get an exam to see if perhaps she might be in transition and sure enough, she was dilated 7 cm at 3:45 am. Moriah found encouragement knowing her labor had taken off and she was able to refocus her efforts.

She flipped back to her hands and knees and we cooled her with wet cloths. And just a few minutes later, Moriah felt like she had to push. I reminded her to continue laboring down, breathing through the pressure as it grew. Desmond applied counter pressure to her lower back since the sensations grew larger and she felt like she had to have a bowel movement. (She actually didn’t. It was her baby coming!) But when Desmond heard that he said, “We’re gonna check it!” And he was right on the money because Moriah was 9.5 cm dilated at 4:30 am. 

Moriah continued to breathe through the growing urge to push until she couldn’t stop it anymore. And she was officially pushing at 4:45 am. She zoomed from 7 to 10 cm in an hour! Moriah moved her baby quickly and in no time we saw his hair. I will never grow tired of the reaction of parents upon seeing the first glimpse of their baby! And at 5:12 am Dorian Prince was born! Moriah was able to reach down and help grab her baby as he entered the world! He weighed 8 lb. 5 oz. and measured 20 in. long, although those stats wouldn’t be determined until after the magic hour. Snuggling was first on the agenda and then breastfeeding! There was plenty of time to statistics.

These first-time parents navigated the unchartered waters of labor with confidence and open minds, which brought their son to them with as little intervention as possible. It was a joy to get to know them and to accompany them as they traversed such a significant phase in their lives together, from couple to parents. Welcome to the club! And welcome to the world, Dorian!

Ezra Mendel entered the world on April 4, 2021, perfectly timed on the last day of Passoover, promoting Jessica and Marc to parents! Marc sent me a text one minute before midnight of Jessica’s due date, to say that contractions had been coming for 40 minutes of varying intensities. It was just a heads up sort of text as they were still trying to sort out whether it was labor. After I reminded them to hydrate, get in a warm bath, rest and not to pay too close attention, we waited to see what the night would hold. Just two hours later, the contractions were stronger and closer and Jessica was feeling nauseous. This seemed to be labor! Her contractions were closer than 5 minutes apart and escalated quickly in a short time. 

When Jessica threw up, we thought a call to the midwife was in order. And with the blessing to head in, they were out the door. Just before 4:30 am, Jessica was confirmed 2 cm dilated and her baby’s head was at -1 station. Her blood pressure was high so there were tests to run, but Jessica continued to move along in her labor. Just 90 minutes later she was dilated 3-4 cm and definitely being admitted to have a baby. Some iv medication aided relaxation as Jessica waited for a room. It was a busy birth-day!

Shortly before 7:00 am, right during shift change, Jessica’s medication was wearing off and her contractions were growing in intensity. Her baby was in the OP position and the pain in her back was intense. An epidural was the plan since it would help with the pain and also lower Jessica’s blood pressure. She was brave as she sat through the procedure, and it was quick and effective. An hour later she was dilated 5 cm. 

The midwives changed shift as the nurses did, bringing someone new. And it happened to be Jessica’s favorite midwife of the group! Ezra’s heart rate dipped a bit lower than normal ranges, so some oxygen and position changes helped in the interim. Jessica moved side to side, but since she had pretty good leg control, we had her labor on her hands and knees for a period of time. And just two minutes later her water broke with a splash! There was some meconium, which would bring a few extra people to the birth. And it might be sooner than later since Jessica was dilated 7-8 cm! Since her baby looked good on the monitor, the midwife assured Jessica and Marc that they were comfortable with everything and had no plans to change “the plan”. 

Continued position changes using the stirrups for a time and then the peanut ball, laying down and sitting up, really helped to complete Jessica’s dilation. And just before 5:00, feeling lots of pressure, Jessica began to push. Her baby’s heart rate was reacting to the intensity of labor as well, so pushing was a good idea for him too. Jessica was an excellent pusher and her baby’s heart rate rebounded between contractions like a champ. Jessica smiled as she pushed from behind the oxygen mask, overcome with the joy and excitement of meeting her son in a few short minutes.

At 5:12, she reached down and felt her baby’s head with her own hand. She had moved her baby down so quickly, from 0 station to +3 station in just two pushes! Jessica stayed the course and the nursery staff was called in shortly. And just 3 minutes later, Jessica and Marc welcomed their son, Ezra Mendel at 5:25 pm! When Ezra came out, a fountain of fluid followed him, spraying out in a dramatic way that left its mark on the floor and the midwife’s scrubs. He was pink from head to toe (literally) and rest against his mom’s chest before taking a quick trip at the warmer. He was returned to his mother’s arms soon after and Jessica didn’t let him go for over an hour. And for the record, he did manage to rotate into the OA position for birth, thanks to his mother maintaining her mobility even with an epidural. 

Ezra weighed 8 lb. 7 oz. and was so completely loved. Jessica and Marc noticed hairy shoulders, long fingernails, and even a dimple. He stuck his tongue out like a lizard and his parents were completely taken by him. When he was ready he latched and had his first feed as his mother looked adoringly on. This couple were beautiful partners and I am so proud of how they navigated the strong, choppy waves of labor. Welcome to the world, Ezra!

Megan and Gokhan welcomed their son, Aslan Yusuf, before the sunrise on April 2, 2021. When I first met Megan, I was struck by her youth. She was the same age as my oldest child and the reality really hit me. I jumped to conclusions based on this and was so humbled and enlightened as I got to know her. She was bubbly and eager, and extremely motivated to welcome her son in the unmedicated birth she envisioned. She was also a student in my in-depth childbirth class, further building upon the innate knowledge of her body. Megan’s cervix made some changes late in pregnancy, thinning and opening before the first labor contraction, so that by her 39-week appointment she was 3 cm and 80% effaced. Her midwife sent her home with the compliment of being the most ready for labor of the many 39-week moms she had seen that day. Still, Megan realized this had no bearing on when she would welcome her son, so she remained open to whatever may come.

And just a few hours later I got a text. Megan was having “cramps” every 6 minutes or so, painful enough to give her pause. Were these from her exam? Or maybe for some other reason? They couldn’t possibly be labor just like that, could they? And of course, we all know that yes, they can. Six hours later, just past midnight Megan reached out with an update. The contractions were 5 minutes apart and very long and painful. It was so quick! So I recommended she call her midwife to get the recommendation of whether it was a good time to head in. The midwife confirned it was, and we met up at the hospital a short time later.

Megan breathed very calmly through her surges and her midwife was pleased to say she was dilated 5-6 cm with a bulging amniotic sac. This was a good place to be, for it meant that the longest most painstaking part of labor was already done. The more intense phase was coming. Megan received some iv fluids to help stabilize her baby’s heart rate and we applied some heat to her lower back as she sat through it. After the midwife checked in and left, Megan asked me about her pain medication options. But she did so with a slight smile. This was Megan’s transition. I assured her that by asking the question we could see she was very soon going to meet her baby. She never spoke another word of it. And neither did we.

The shower was the next stop but it didn’t last long. Megan needed to take a stop on the toilet as she felt some strong rectal pressure. And sitting right there her water broke! She retuned to the bed for a quick cervical update and her midwife declared her to be 9 ½ cm dilated at 4:07 am. Megan reclined in the bed because that felt right to her. And she gracefully allowed her body’s transition contractions wash over her as she started to feel the urge to bear down at the peaks. A fan (HER fan that she directed us to) and a cold washcloth were about all she needed in that moment. And by 4:45 she was full-on pushing side-lying.

Megan rolled over to her hands and knees and pushed over the birth ball. Her midwife leaned in closely to tell her that her baby was in the OP position and would need a bit more oomph in each push to descend and rotate. And Megan delivered. Literally. Megan pushed in a lunge and we could see her son’s dark hair shortly after. The midwife reached for the delivery cart, parking it at the foot of the bed. Then she donned her paper suit and took a seat.

Megan’s pushes were instinctive and strong and effective. Her son come tumbling into the world (and even rotated into the OA position) at 5:56 am! Daddy cut the cord and a quick workup confirmed he was just fine in spite of meconium in the fluid. Megan pulled her son to her and locked into his face. Then she looked about the room at each one of us to express her glee. She had done it! Just like she knew she could. Like we all knew she could. Aslan weighed 8 lb. 3 oz. and measured 21 in. long. He was wide awake, basking in his mother’s smell and sound, peering into her face, the one he already knew.

Watching Megan embrace her labor, actually relish it, was a beautiful reminder of the gift of birthing. It is an act of courage, strength, letting go, and ultimately of love. Megan may be young, but she is already so wise. She trusts her body and believes in herself. And it is no accident those same qualities make a marvelous mother. She taught all of us some things that night. And we will be forever blessed by those lessons. No matter what is happening in the world, babies are born and mothers are strong.

Rachel and Bruce became parents on March 9, 2021 as they welcomed their daughter, Eliza Mae, in a most surprising and keep-you-on-your-toes-guessing-all-the-while sort of birth. They were educated and ready, having attended my in-depth childbirth classes. And Rachel was the oldest of 8 children so she had some insight into becoming a mother. But this would be her first go. And if we know anything about birth it is that we cannot ever know for sure how it will unfold.

Rachel’s guess date of March 1 came and went and she tried to remain calm and patient. I didn’t hear from her really until she was 41 weeks and looking at an induction in a few days if labor did not happen first. She wanted any tips for starting things up and I reminded her that nothing would do it if her body wasn’t ready, and encouraged the relaxation benefit of massage and discouraged the pressure of the massage starting labor. Exercises to optimize her baby’s position were wise as was going for walks and spending time with Bruce in the final days. Labor would start if it was time and it wouldn’t if it wasn’t. And all of the trying to get it to start wouldn’t help and would actually possibly delay labor even further from all of the stress. Rachel took the advice with plans to wait.

But less than 24 hours later the text came to my phone. It was 6:55 am on March 9 and Rachel had been feeling contractions for 3-4 hours that were finally regular, just not consistent. They were mostly not too strong so I encouraged her to rest as long as possible and only do the minimum to get through them until her body required more. She had an appointment at 2:30 for an NST and ultrasound and wondered whether she should go in. Meanwhile, the plan was to do the Miles Circuit to help baby settle into position, and use comfort measures as needed. Several more hours of inconsistent and not too strong contractions, and a call to her midwife confirmed she was to report to her appointment. Turns out she was dilated 4 cm, 80-90% effaced, and her baby was in the OP position. The ob also swept her membranes in the hopes it would get her labor into a more productive pattern. Rachel returned home and her contractions quickly escalated.

Even with steady and strong contractions, Rachel attempted another round of the Miles Circuit in the hopes her baby would move from OP to OA. She had been contracting all day and was ready to meet her baby. But with contractions only 2 ½ minutes apart, lasting a minute, there was not a lot of rest time between and Rachel still wasn’t sure. I recommended she call the midwife again and possibly head back to the hospital. After an hour of contractions at that interval, they spoke with the midwife who said to head back in.

The car ride was awful, but it always is awful in labor. And since Rachel had been laboring so intently over the phone, her midwife arranged for them to go straight to a room bypassing triage. Rachel was seen to her room and climbed upon the bed for an exam. Her midwife did the exam and said, “Well you’ll be glad to know you are fully dilated.” Talk about a shock! It was about 7:15 pm and Rachel had been there a few hours earlier dilated just 4 cm! 

Her nurse worked on admitting her into the system and preparing the delivery cart and everything else that needs to happen beforehand, while Rachel worked through very intense contractions all while laying for the requisite initial monitoring. Her water broke 10 minutes later at 7:27 pm and she was pushing a few minutes after that. A few minutes later Bruce texted me back to confirm I should come to the hospital. I left quickly and was there in 10 minutes but it would prove to be just a smidge too late…

Rachel was a great pusher and moved her baby quickly down to birth. The heart rate dipped too low for comfort and there was talk of maybe having to take measures to encourage a more rapid birth. Rachel wanted none of that and so instead she pushed like never before and her baby was crowning in no time. She pushed with such strength and brought her daughter into the world at 8:10 pm! She was born strong and vigorous after that initial cry, and I walked in the room one minute later to find Rachel clutching her newborn baby girl and trying to catch her breath. She was happy and relieved, I could tell that even from behind her mask. (Yes, she wore her mask while pushing. Amazing.) Eliza weighed 7 lb. 15 oz. and measured a lanky 22.5 in. long.

It was remarkable how much her labor changed in so short a time, bringing Rachel from 4 cm to birthed in just under 3 hours. But make no mistake, shorter is not easier. Not in childbirth. Rachel was a champion at stepping up to the task as her contractions ratcheted higher. And we’ll never know how Eliza managed to rotate in the end after being persistently OP, (Rachel’s erratic and slow to progress labor had OP written all over them), but we suspect Rachel’s diligence with the Miles Circuit had something to do with it. Or maybe it was the membrane sweep that intensified the contractions right when Rachel (and Eliza) needed it most. Perhaps it was the feeling and listening to her body that helped Rachel welcome Eliza far more than the knowing and doing that had led her up to that point. All of the red raspberry tea, pineapple, eggplant, spicy food, dates, etc in the world won’t coax out a baby who simply isn’t ready. It was patience and diligence that made all the difference. Congratulations on the surprising and wonderful birth of Eliza Mae! You rode the waves of your labor like a pro.

I’m sharing a birth experience that is quite different from the ones you see here. The mother has requested it be shared because her son has a story, just like every baby. And as his mother, she would like their journey acknowledged, however heartbreaking it may be. Megan and Dan’s journey to parenthood was not easy. Through the gift of medical advancements, they were able to conceive through IVF. After the very real awareness that birth doesn’t always just happen, Megan waited with reserved excitement for the confirmation that her pregnancy “took” and she was indeed on her way. She reached out to me on the earlier side, dotting her I’s and crossing her t’s to insure a healthy pregnancy and birth. She had done her research and selected midwifes are her primary care providers, with the goal of minimizing interventions during her birth. She and Dan attended my childbirth class at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, virtually, and would also welcome their baby in the midst of protocols to insure safety and limit the spread of the virus. We had our prenatal visit in their home, and discussed everything from logistical details to comfort measures, and even deviated to plants. When we parted we were looking eagerly forward to Megan’s birthing time and the fulfillment of her longtime dream of having children of her own.

Megan sent weekly updates following her prenatal appointments. All was well, meaning baby’s heart rate was good and he was growing fine. Her cervix was making subtle changes, but it was looking like her baby would push the envelope and gestate on the longer side. An induction was scheduled for February 24, but we hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. Then the phone call came, not a text like the weekly updates that final month telling me all was well and mom and baby were healthy. This was different. I could hear it in Megan’s voice. She had been crying. “They couldn’t find his heartbeat.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I fell silent. A pit formed in my stomach and I held it together with an “I’m sorry.” This was devastating and I began to hold Megan’s space. Dan was on his way to her and details would be hammered out regarding support. But they were soon heading to the hospital for an induction a day sooner than expected.

Megan wrapped her head around the drastic shift in her reality and her thoughts of a natural birth suddenly felt impossible. “How can I honor Theo with the birth I have been preparing for when I know he won’t be coming home with us?” She was not afraid to ask the hard questions. She did her research and communicated openly and I answered her difficult questions as well as I was able. I responded with the reassurance that there was no wrong answer and she would find the best path for laboring her baby into the world. She would know the best thing to do and I would support her unconditionally in that. And Dan would love her the whole way through as they walked that devastating journey together.

The induction process was slow, as is often the case. But there was no cadence of a heartbeat to break up the monotony and remind her of why she was doing the work. It was a means to an end and one that she knew would be difficult and so very different than the meeting she had been envisioning for so many months. Years really. The first step was a foley bulb to encourage Megan’s cervix to open a bit more so it would be more receptive to pitocin. Megan tried to sleep that first night but it’s hard to sleep when your heart is broken and your mind is reeling. But she needed rest more than ever and she still had labor coming. Pitocin was incorporated and with it came stronger contractions. Megan accepted iv medication to help her rest and relax, as well as take the edge off the labor pain that had already begun. It could not touch the emotional pain though. An epidural soon followed, but it was not effective and Megan had several hours of intense labor even so.

Once her labor picked up it took off, which was a small mercy in the midst of such a task. Megan was dilated 8-9 cm by midday and the realization began to hit that Theo would be coming soon. We reminded Dan to eat and both of them to rest but self-care is especially difficult in grief. Megan’s body came through in amazing fashion, dilating rapidly and moving her baby down to +2 station in a short couple of hours. She continued to feel break through pain, the physical kind. But the emotional pain was just as acute. Megan began pushing sooner than expected and moved through that phase with a courage that I cannot fathom. It was a challenge she knew she had to face, and she did so without the reliable aid of the pain medication button. She relied on the physical pain to cue her to push. Megan used immense strength and powerful emotion and brought Theo out of her body with a tearful roar. He was born at 3:09 pm on February 23, 2021. And in his birth he was also gone.

The midwife gently placed Theo on Megan’s chest and she grabbed hold of him. There was no vigorous rubbing to elicit a cry. Just a gentle stroking to wipe away some blood. Dan reached out to touch his son and immediately noted all of his perfect parts. “He has ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes,” Dan whispered. Then he laughed to see the same “mean mugging face” that Megan’s dad had. Her father was Theo’s namesake and had passed away just two years ago. Seeing his expression was heartwarming and heartwrenching at the same time. He was in that room though. Megan and Dan had a lot to get to know in a short amount of time and they relished the opportunity to become familiar with their son. They were given a cuddle cot so he could spend some extended time with them before their final goodbyes. Theo was perfect. He just looked like he was asleep and I suppose he was. The cause of his sudden passing was clear at the birth and something that could not have been prevented or foreseen. It is also a very rare circumstance. But those words don’t bring comfort when your son is the rare case.

I held their space and took pictures. Megan’s nurse was kind and compassionate. She gently bathed and dressed Theo in the outfit of his parents’ choosing. It fit perfectly, although we initially had out doubts. Theo weighed 9 lb. and was 22 ¼ in. long. He had chubby cheeks and substantial shoulders and a head full of dark hair. His parents memorized those details along with so many other things none of us could begin to imagine.

There was palpable love in that room. There was sadness, yes. There was great sorrow. But there was also talk of family and stories told. Megan and Dan laughed over memories from their wedding that were ridiculous and endearing, and only made their experience more precious. I could see how much Megan and Dan valued family and how much they loved each other. I could see how much they loved their son. They modeled patience and courage as they walked through the most difficult thing a human can. They will continue that walk lifelong. I also saw yielding and openness and hope as the mention of children entered the conversation. And spring was a promise just a few weeks away, hinted by the first color growing from the ground and the first buds of the trees. I will always cherish the hours spent with Megan and Dan and the beautiful reminder it was of the strength of parents’ love and how it transcends space and time. And knowing how fleeting life can be, remembering to savor every little thing. For you just don’t know. Holding space for this sweet couple today and every day. Thank you for your lessons to us about love and loss, and for wanting to share Theo’s story.

I’m so pleased to announce the Rachel and Jason have welcomed their second daughter, Quinn Hawley. Rachel had a long and involved first birth and hoped things might be different the second time around. After all, every birth is unique and offers the same clean slate as a first birth. She did make some changes to her preparation, however. She enrolled in my refresher class, enlisted care with a chiropractor, and hired me as her doula. We were in communication off and on after appointments, and we had our prenatal visit and discussed logistics and Rachel’s birth preferences. It was a nice chance to reconnect and to meet Jason! (Thank you, Covid.) And after that, we were left to simply wait and see.

Rachel’s cervix made some gradual changes leading up to the birth. She was dilated 1 cm at 39-weeks and she felt pain in her hips as her body got ready. She incorporated the Miles Circuit into her routine in the hopes her baby would have the benefit of optimizing her position for birth. But ultimately it would be up to Rachel’s baby what she wanted to do. And on February 25, around 4:00 pm, Rachel texted to tell me she had felt the rhythmic cramp of contractions every 7 minutes for about 4 hours. They were mild enough to minimize and mostly ignore, but she did have to breathe and focus through them. By 8:00 that evening they were a little closer and a little stronger, so she labored in the shower for the second time to help her relax. 

Things continued to intensify through the night until at 12:10 am her water broke. And the contractions jumped to 3 minutes apart just 20 minutes later. With the contractions very strong, Rachel and Jason left for the hospital shortly thereafter. Rachel had done some work at home because her cervix was dilated to 7 cm upon arrival. Things appeared to be moving right along and we thought there might be a baby before sunrise.

After her initial stint on the monitor, Rachel went straight to the shower to labor. She sounded through her contractions and we angled the shower to hit her back just so. The pressure intensified in her bottom too. Rachel called the shower a “miracle worker,” she found it so helpful. And she labored in there for over an hour. She had opened to 8/9 cm by shower’s end and her baby was at +1 station. Conditions seemed right for pushing sooner rather than later. Rachel used a squatting bar on the bed to squat into the contractions in the hopes her baby’s head might melt her cervix away. The playlist “Push!!” filled the room with rollicking tunes Rachel had selected for that purpose. And we applied counter pressure to her lower back through each contraction where she felt the most discomfort. 

Rachel used the rebozo to dangle through contractions as well, with the same goal of opening that cervix. And she lunged on her hands and knees through several contractions too. She was doing every single thing to get her baby out, but she was hitting a wall. It was time for some information and to possibly make a change. Her nurse confirmed that there was still cervix and also that her baby was trying to rotate! Rachel labored on her side and pushed a few times that way, but her cervix wasn’t budging. The midwife recommended some Pitocin to give more oomph and Rachel was willing to try. She had been up all night though, and the day was looming large in that moment. So Rachel decided it was a good time for an epidural. And thankfully, unlike her first birth, the CRNA administered it quickly and effectively, providing the relief and relaxation (and rest) that Rachel was counting on.

Two hours later at 9:20 there was the tiniest bit of cervix left. It was stretchy but would not yield to the midwife’s hand. So we rotated Rachel one way and another, incorporating the use of a peanut ball and stirrups to maintain an open pelvis. About two hours later, Rachel felt pressure in her bottom and an exam confirmed that her cervix was completely gone! And after laboring down another 40 minutes she began to push. It wouldn’t be easy, since her baby was determined to be in the OP position. Rachel was no stranger this since her first baby was in the same position and rotated at the very last moment. This baby appeared to be gearing up to do the same thing. But Rachel was game to push on her hands and knees which would prove to help rotation! Baby’s heart rate dipped, which isn’t uncommon during second stage. So an oxygen mask was placed over Rachel’s face to help give her little one a boost. Rachel continued to push in various positions—why stop moving at second stage, right? Her stamina and tenacity did not wane. It was there in full force all the way to the end of her marathon labor. All told, Rachel pushed for just over an hour and her baby was born at 1:18 pm on February 26, 2021 with the cord wrapped around her neck twice. (That would explain some heart rate dips that showed up late in labor.) Welcome to the world, Quinn! She weighed 7 lb. 12 oz. and was 21 in. long. 

Rachel cried at the sight of her daughter – relieved, exhausted, elated, and happy tears! She did it! And she did it without even tearing, which was another huge win for her in comparison to her first experience.  Quinn needed a little bit of stimulation to get that first robust cry and to transition, but she was back in her mom’s arms a few minutes later and was latched at the breast at less than 20 minutes old. And that gave her parents the chance to investigate how she looked like family. She looked like her sister, only different, and she had a hairy back like her great grandpa! 

Rachel’s labor is one that defied our preconceived expectations of second labors. And shame on us for trying to predict what a baby can do! For ultimately, we really have no clue how a birth will unfold. We only grasp at generalities that happen more often than not. When it comes to birth, the most important skill is to be flexible. Rachel exemplified this! She was an expert at dodging and weaving with her birth journey. She took her labor one contraction at a time and was able to labor through another birth experience that took about 24 hours. She is a rock star in my book and she also managed to maintain her sense of humor too. Once again, this is an important mothering skill so Rachel is well equipped with two essential skills. Congrats again on another surprising birth and a beautiful baby! 

If birth teaches us anything, it is that it is ever new. The journey of this couple to meet their second child, was definitely a new experience. Dustene and Jarrod met their son, Nezrah Oliver, on February 17, 2021 in a birth that was about as opposite from their first as it could be. They were students in my childbirth class several years ago in preparation for the birth of their first child. And that labor was a long one, in part due to it being Dustene’s first labor, but even more so because that first baby was positioned in a less than optimal way. It spanned over 24 hours and left her feeling exhausted and needing the rest an epidural could provide. Truth be told, she described it as traumatic, and she hoped for a less anxiety inducing experience this time. She approached her second birth with an open mind knowing sometimes plans change, but also with a hopeful heart in knowing each birth journey is unique. They enrolled in my refresher class to prepare for this journey, which I applauded them for. It can be more challenging to carve aside time to immerse your mind in the upcoming birth when you have a toddler to take care of. Life is busy! But they found the time to commit to reacquainting themselves with the birth process, but also to learn how a second labor is often so different than the first. 

Dustene’s body was gearing up. She felt contractions and her baby dropped in a noticeable way. She felt the stretch of her round ligaments and everything was already so different than her first. Her body was contracting quite often the day or two leading up to labor. Her baby was low which might have been part of it, but she was busy mothering an active toddler as well. Plus, her uterus was gearing up for it had done this labor thing before! 

Then in the evening of February 17, 4 days before her due date, Dustene’s water broke. At least there was some confirmation of a tangible labor event! She called her midwives to let them know and then planned to feel her way through labor at home a bit. But her body had different plans. And so did her baby. Almost immediately, Dustene was breathing through strong and close contractions. They started closer than 3 minutes apart and grew quickly to a minute long. With grandparents at home to watch big sister, they were free to leave when they were ready. And an hour after her water broke, Dustene and Jarrod were on the way to the hospital.

I met them there and could tell that Dustene was much changed. She had the demeanor of a woman deep in labor, even though it hadn’t yet been 90 minutes since her water broke. She rode a wheelchair since the prospect of the walk was too much. And in hindsight she might have given birth on the way up! Her midwife was waiting for her in the labor and delivery unity, and we were all escorted straight to a room. Dustene got upon the bed immediately for a quick exam and to get a listen to her baby’s heart beat. And her midwife confirmed that she was indeed fully dilated! There was no time for the shower, no time to labor about the room. There was hardly time to listen to the baby and certainly no time to sign consents.

 Instead, Dustene rolled over to her hands and knees where she felt most comfortable and strong and she immediately began to follow her body’s instinct to push. It didn’t take long before her baby’s head was visible. Baby’s head was born and Dustene opened her right leg into a lunge to allow her baby’s shoulders to come. He was a big boy! And Nezrah Oliver was born at 9:10 pm, scarcely 15 minutes after his mom set foot in the room. He was passed through his mom’s legs into her arms. She was in shock at first. How incredible that he was already in her arms! And then she and her husband looked down upon the child that had hurried into their lives after such a wait. And they rejoiced and laughed over the sheer exhilaration of it all. 

Dustene lay back upon the bed and held Nezrah against her chest as it all sank in. He was crying out to show everyone he was breathing well. And we could see by his chunky body that he was a substantial weight. Turns out he weighed 9 lbs. and was 21 in. long! Jarrod cut the cord and the placenta came soon after. And it was shaped like a heart! Nezrah had a head full of hair and he was born alert, taking in the faces and sounds around him. He was latched to the breast that first hour and Dustene and Jarrod marveled over the stark difference between the birth of their son and the birth of their daughter.

I smiled to watch them piece it all together and was so glad to be able to say that I told them so. I hoped and prayed that Dustene would learn the ultimate lesson of birth that every single birth journey is different. And with that comes the opportunity to write a new story and create an association with birth as short and a pleasant surprise, rather than long and traumatic—a completely different sort of surprise. I was honored to see them through this second birth full circle, after journeying with them twice as their educator. Nothing compares to holding the space of a birthing woman. And I will forever be grateful you are a woman who invited me into that space!

Shelby and Ryan welcomed their second child, Jeffery Clay, on February 4, 2021. (Fun fact: He was the third birth I attended on that exact day. It was a record-breaking doula day for me!) After giving birth the first time, Shelby realized what she valued in her birth experience and what she would want to do differently. Shelby prepared her mindset by reading many books that reinforced her goal for an unmedicated childbirth, and she took the advice of her labor and delivery nurse friend, and set up an interview with a doula. (I was the lucky doula she met.) And we soon began our client/doula partnership.

Shelby sent me a text just before 8:00 pm on February 4. She knew I had been up the previous night at a birth and then attended another one right after, so she held off texting me until she was pretty certain she was in labor. The first text came through at 7:51 pm explaining some signs she had been seeing and feeling. She developed contractions low in her groin that incorporated her entire uterus. And she was trying to decipher if they were labor contractions or perhaps her uterine response to a membrane sweep that had occurred at her appointment earlier that day. Then two minutes later she texted to say that she was 99% sure her water JUST broke. She called and spoke with her midwife and with contractions already coming 5 minutes apart and getting stronger, they left for the hospital within the hour. We decided to meet there and go in on the “early” side (so we thought), to allow Shelby time and space to settle in and labor.

We arrived at virtually the same time and were able to walk in together, all three of us. Shelby was triaged and breathed and swayed with Ryan through intensifying contractions. She declined an exam since she was dilated 4 cm at her appointment the previous day and her water had broken. Shelby also sang through her contractions until she was no longer able to, which was around 10:30. Over the course of an hour in triage where she got an iv setup for antibiotics, spent some time on the monitor, answered all of the admission questions, and also breathed through contractions, and finally got an exam by her midwife, Shelby was dilated 7 cm! 

Her labor had definitely taken off like a shot and she felt her son’s head deep in her pelvis with each contraction. There wouldn’t be time to use the shower like we had discussed. Instead Shelby was staying in the moment coping with one strong contraction at a time. After laying in the bed for the monitoring, she took a trip to the bathroom, and then we moved the bed into the shape of a throne for a more upright labor position. Shelby leaned forward with each contraction and felt immense pressure down low. We put cold wet washcloths on her forehead and neck as her body heated up with the work of labor. 

Shelby moved to her hands and knees upon the throne bed and that’s where her baby really moved down. Ryan used a rebozo to lift Shelby’s belly, providing some relief from the intense pressure. And something about that position and where Shelby was in her labor made for a perfect combination to send her headlong through transition. She vocalized with her contractions and with no time to even fetch the squat bar she requested, Shelby crawled higher in the bed and labored sitting in a semi-squat on the bed through her contractions. She breathed in some peppermint essential oil to stave of the waves of nausea rode in on transition. And in no time it was clear that she was about to have a baby and her midwife needed to get dispatched quickly.

Shelby was involuntarily pushing and it didn’t take long. She cried out her power as she brought her baby down, and she even reached down to feel his head for herself. That only motivated her to push again and when she did his head was crowning. Shelby paused and blew out air as her baby crowned and it would be the reason she didn’t tear too. She pushed as her midwife encouraged her, and after his head was out the rest of his body came into the world. Jeffery Clay was born at 11:29 pm in the unmedicated birth his mom had been hoping for and prepared for. Her face was the picture of such joy! She cried and then she was elated, exclaiming, “I can’t believe I did it!” So much emotion was felt by both Shelby and Ryan as they took in the details of their son. They even noticed that he had a flattened nose like his big sister did, the result of a baby whose face is squished up against the uterine wall for a long time. Clay weighed 8 lb. 2.6 oz. and measured 20 ½ in. long. But they wouldn’t know those details until after the magic hour was over.

Clay was latched to his mom’s breast not long after birth, and Shelby coasted on the euphoria of the oxytocin as she tried to remember the timeline of her labor. It’s a difficult thing to do in the midst of that hormonal haze whose purpose is to dull the details and heighten awareness for bonding, so we helped. All told, Shelby was in active labor a total of maybe 4 hours. It’s really quite remarkable and encouraging how different each labor can be. And sometimes when it goes the way this one did, it has mom already thinking of her next birth! I was so proud of Shelby and honored to be there to stand beside her as she realized her strength. I knew she could do it!

In the midst of a pandemic, when things are just so crazy, and extra restrictive protocols exist, it’s inspiring to see a woman transcend the baggage of the present moment, or even the past, and meet her baby in her chosen way. Introducing sweet Amara Forrest and her strong mom, Hannah. We met many months prior and Hannah made her goals clear to me about wanting as natural a birth as possible. She also explained that her birth partner would not be the father of her baby, but rather her best friend. We got to know each other over the 8-week childbirth education series I taught, and we suddenly found ourselves on Hannah’s due date.

Now ordinarily that doesn’t mean much. But I should have known. At 5:12 the morning of her due date, January 12, Hannah texted to tell me she was having waves on a regular time cycle. They were getting longer and closer and felt quite different than the Braxton Hicks she was accustomed to. Rest and hydration was the plan and she would update with news. Turns out Hannah had a challenging morning. She was vomiting often and having a hard time even keeping fluids down. Her friend, Rosey had made red raspberry leaf ice chips but that was the only thing Hannah could take in. Her contractions were coming 3 minutes apart and lasting more than a minute. So with an hour-long drive they thought it best to head to the hospital around 11:00 that morning.

Just past noon they arrived. And after going through the initial questioning, Hannah was checked and confirmed to be dilated 3 cm. But she definitely wasn’t acting like it! Her midwife suspected she was dehydrated so she recommended a bag of fluids to see if it helped her contractions to be more effective. Hannah and Rosey labored in triage for three hours. Apparently it was a very popular day for babies to be born. But some wonderful things happened over those hours. Hannah labored in positions that felt most intuitive to her, and as her contractions escalataed she met them with vocalizations. Then when she suspected a gush that might be her water breaking they summoned the nurse. Hannah was 7 cm dilated and would finally be admitted to a room! The bag of fluids definitely did the trick.

Once in her room, Hannah headed right for the shower, knowing the water would bring some relief and help her to stay loose and open through the intensity of her contractions. She continued to vocalize in the shower as Rosey and I encouraged her and spoke strength to her. Hannah was working hard and though she never wavered, she was definitely in unchartered territory. She blew through the pressure she was feeling so as not to push. Then she felt some stinging and reached down to feel what she thought was her baby’s head. It wasn’t, it was her bag of water. But her baby was not far behind.

Hannah made her way out of the shower and back onto the bed to see if it might be time to have a baby. She felt a whole lot of pressure, after all. And sure enough, Hannah was fully dilated and her water broke during the exam as if to punctuate the discovery. She rolled over to her hands and knees and pushed in a kneel before leaning over the birth ball to push the couple of contractions that remained. Hannah pushed her baby out so quickly, even her midwife didn’t expect it. She had stepped out briefly and in that short time (one contraction!) Hannah brought her baby’s head down to her perineum. The nurse came in to cup her hand in protection, and another push brough the head and the baby’s body right as the midwife returned. Amara Forrest entered the world calmly and quietly, giving her nurse her first catch! Hannah pushed through only a couple of contractions before welcoming her baby at 3:39 pm on January 12, 2021.

Hannah was in awe and wonder as she looked upon her daughter, and then the emotions flowed with the tears. “She’s so beautiful!” fell from Hannah and Rosey’s mouths. Hannah lay down upon the bed and cradled her Amara with such joy and tenderness. Her instincts kicked in and she longed to bring her baby to her breast as soon as possible. Her placenta came in time, shaped like a heart, but there were some complications that would require some assistance postpartum.

But in the meantime, Amara nursed for 25 minutes straight and her mom fell deeply in love with her and became a doting mother in an instant. She and Rosey were a beautiful partnership in labor and to see them was reminiscent of the days when women always birthed with women by their side. Amara weighed a chunky 8 lb. 4 oz. and was 21 ¼ in. long. She had such a thick neck roll I would have guessed she weighed 9 lb. for sure!

Leaving this birth had me feeling hopeful in some ways, as I saw my client rise above the medical constraints that are endemic to the hospital setting during a pandemic. I also saw her triumph through a challenging separation from her birth team in triage, finding her way one contraction at a time with virtual doula support in the interim. It was not ideal, to be completely honest, but in these crazy times, we were all grateful to have been connected and ultimately reunited for the most trying part of the birth. I am so thankful for being invited into a sacred space and for being reminded of the autonomy and strength that resides in every birthing woman if she is given the opportunity to express it. And thank you for my first ever doula baby to share my first name!