Moriah and Desmond met their son face to face on April 15, 2021 in a surprising and beautiful birth. Dorian Prince was well named as he entered the world the prince of his mother’s heart. I got a phone call from Desmond just past 9:00 am on April 14 that Moriah thought her water had broken. The plan was to rest until she felt notable contractions and since she had a midwife appointment later that morning she would plan to go if labor hadn’t really taken hold.

At her appointment she was dilated 3 cm. The midwife confirmed that her water had begun to break and since she had tested positive for Group B strep, she was sent to the hospital to be admitted. Desmond called to keep me up to date and to share that Moriah was given space and time at the hospital to see if she would naturally go into active labor. Her midwife broke the forebag, then Moriah used a breast pump to bring on contractions and walked the halls of the unit. But by 9:40 that night just dilated 4 cm, Pitocin was recommended to bring stronger contractions. They started slowly and raised it gradually. Moriah rested initially but within two hours she was in active labor. She breathed in sighs through her contractions and nausea overcame her, making her vomit at midnight. 

The wireless monitor gave much freedom as Moriah moved her way through labor. And she was dilated to 5 cm by 1:00 am. She labored on her hands and knees over the peanut ball, and then labored sitting upright in the bed. By 2:00 am there were late decels in her baby’s heart rate but fluids leveled it out just fine.

Her next go-to was the shower at 3:00. But it was difficult to trace her baby’s heart rate, and Moriah had to return to the bed for a better strip. She hit a wall there and confessed to us that she wasn’t sure how much longer she could take it. She was tired and labor was painful. We recommended she get an exam to see if perhaps she might be in transition and sure enough, she was dilated 7 cm at 3:45 am. Moriah found encouragement knowing her labor had taken off and she was able to refocus her efforts.

She flipped back to her hands and knees and we cooled her with wet cloths. And just a few minutes later, Moriah felt like she had to push. I reminded her to continue laboring down, breathing through the pressure as it grew. Desmond applied counter pressure to her lower back since the sensations grew larger and she felt like she had to have a bowel movement. (She actually didn’t. It was her baby coming!) But when Desmond heard that he said, “We’re gonna check it!” And he was right on the money because Moriah was 9.5 cm dilated at 4:30 am. 

Moriah continued to breathe through the growing urge to push until she couldn’t stop it anymore. And she was officially pushing at 4:45 am. She zoomed from 7 to 10 cm in an hour! Moriah moved her baby quickly and in no time we saw his hair. I will never grow tired of the reaction of parents upon seeing the first glimpse of their baby! And at 5:12 am Dorian Prince was born! Moriah was able to reach down and help grab her baby as he entered the world! He weighed 8 lb. 5 oz. and measured 20 in. long, although those stats wouldn’t be determined until after the magic hour. Snuggling was first on the agenda and then breastfeeding! There was plenty of time to statistics.

These first-time parents navigated the unchartered waters of labor with confidence and open minds, which brought their son to them with as little intervention as possible. It was a joy to get to know them and to accompany them as they traversed such a significant phase in their lives together, from couple to parents. Welcome to the club! And welcome to the world, Dorian!

Courtney and Nathan are parents again! And in somewhat of a déjà vu, they welcomed a second son after a surprisingly long labor. Courtney was motivated and driven to welcome this baby in an unmedicated birth just as she had the first time. But the emotional challenge a second prodromal labor brings can be unexpected. Life was busy as it tends to be with a young child. But add in the sale and purchase of a home and the subsequent home improvement projects, and busy was escalated to a whole new level this time. Pile on top of that the unique challenges of giving birth in a pandemic, and you’ve got a totally new and different experience. But Courtney and Nathan were up for the challenge.

Courtney sensed that her son had shifted in utero, feeling as though he was somewhat sideways. I gave some suggestions of positions to encourage her baby to realign himself and the following night, April 12, she texted to say she had been contracting since 4:00 am overnight. They were inconsistent but persistent. She attempted rest for the second night, but with contractions that were escalating she found it difficult to sleep much with contractions ranging from 10-20 minutes apart all night. By the following morning, and after rounds of positions, Courtney was still contracting. They called the midwife and were heading in that morning for some answers. Courtney was 4 cm dilated and 100% effaced but she was not in active labor. Not technically. Her uterus was trying hard to be. Her baby had shifted downward from -3 to -1 station, a testament to all her hard work with positions. It was midday when they got admitted. 

The plan was to eat a meal and then see about getting contractions to be more consistent. After lunch, Courtney and Nathan walked two laps on the labor and delivery unit and then Courtney used a breast pump to bring on stronger contractions. And it worked! Courtney’s contractions were steady at 5-6 minutes apart by 3:30 pm and had her heading to the shower to the relaxation and pain maintenance it promised. Thirty minutes later, Courtney was out of the shower and dilated to 8 cm.

Courtney labored on hands and knees through transition and was still self-aware enough to comment to us how annoyed she was with the process and how anyone who told her second babies are easier was wrong! We positioned the peanut ball in front of her so she could “rest” between contractions. And her midwife told her to push when she felt she was ready and see what happened. A lunge was the next position in the hopes it would solidify that urge to push that Courtney was ready for. She felt pressure like she needed to have a bowel movement but the pushing part she wasn’t so sure about. She remembered it was a challenge her first birth. She lay upon her side for a bit and then we shifted the bed into a throne so she could see if gravity might move her into second stage.

And an hour later she was dilated 9 cm. She was ready for a change and that change was to break her water. Surely that last barrier cleared would bring her baby down for birth. Her water was broken at 5:12 pm and she returned to her hands and knees over the peanut ball, her preferred labor position. She lunged without hesitation, and then stood with her husband to lunge while she stood. She tried the bathroom again, where the familiarity of softening and letting go might yield her baby. And sure, enough when she returned to the bed at 5:52 her midwife had nursery called. Courtney was pushing! She pushed in lunges, and we could see a baby’s head shortly thereafter. And after 24 minutes of pushing, Courtney welcomed her second son, Ford Callum into the world! He was born at 6:19 pm on April 13, 2021, weighing 8 lb. 1.8 oz. and measuring 20.5 in. long.

Ford made his mom work hard right up to the end, when a suspected shoulder dystocia that wasn’t, elevated the tension for a minute. Ford cried immediately after her was born, adjusting to life with the strength and vigor his mom had displayed through the entire labor. He had a head of dark hair and a smear of vernix across his forehead, and once his daddy cut the cord, he lay against his mom’s chest as they both adjusted to being born. Ford was born as Courtney’s son, and Courtney was born as Ford’s mother.  Ford was breastfeeding at 20 minutes-old and Courtney’s phone was already blowing up with all the well-wishes.

Although Courtney’s labor was slow to start, once it was active, I was just three hours long. She was tired and over it by the time those strong and close contractions came, but she was a warrior all the way to the very last push. Nathan was her stronghold, always there believing in her. Thank goodness for a patient midwife who presented options and did not push, and for the opportunity to choose the path that felt right. You showed once again that women are resilient and strong and will stop at nothing to meet their babies. Congratulations again!

Ezra Mendel entered the world on April 4, 2021, perfectly timed on the last day of Passoover, promoting Jessica and Marc to parents! Marc sent me a text one minute before midnight of Jessica’s due date, to say that contractions had been coming for 40 minutes of varying intensities. It was just a heads up sort of text as they were still trying to sort out whether it was labor. After I reminded them to hydrate, get in a warm bath, rest and not to pay too close attention, we waited to see what the night would hold. Just two hours later, the contractions were stronger and closer and Jessica was feeling nauseous. This seemed to be labor! Her contractions were closer than 5 minutes apart and escalated quickly in a short time. 

When Jessica threw up, we thought a call to the midwife was in order. And with the blessing to head in, they were out the door. Just before 4:30 am, Jessica was confirmed 2 cm dilated and her baby’s head was at -1 station. Her blood pressure was high so there were tests to run, but Jessica continued to move along in her labor. Just 90 minutes later she was dilated 3-4 cm and definitely being admitted to have a baby. Some iv medication aided relaxation as Jessica waited for a room. It was a busy birth-day!

Shortly before 7:00 am, right during shift change, Jessica’s medication was wearing off and her contractions were growing in intensity. Her baby was in the OP position and the pain in her back was intense. An epidural was the plan since it would help with the pain and also lower Jessica’s blood pressure. She was brave as she sat through the procedure, and it was quick and effective. An hour later she was dilated 5 cm. 

The midwives changed shift as the nurses did, bringing someone new. And it happened to be Jessica’s favorite midwife of the group! Ezra’s heart rate dipped a bit lower than normal ranges, so some oxygen and position changes helped in the interim. Jessica moved side to side, but since she had pretty good leg control, we had her labor on her hands and knees for a period of time. And just two minutes later her water broke with a splash! There was some meconium, which would bring a few extra people to the birth. And it might be sooner than later since Jessica was dilated 7-8 cm! Since her baby looked good on the monitor, the midwife assured Jessica and Marc that they were comfortable with everything and had no plans to change “the plan”. 

Continued position changes using the stirrups for a time and then the peanut ball, laying down and sitting up, really helped to complete Jessica’s dilation. And just before 5:00, feeling lots of pressure, Jessica began to push. Her baby’s heart rate was reacting to the intensity of labor as well, so pushing was a good idea for him too. Jessica was an excellent pusher and her baby’s heart rate rebounded between contractions like a champ. Jessica smiled as she pushed from behind the oxygen mask, overcome with the joy and excitement of meeting her son in a few short minutes.

At 5:12, she reached down and felt her baby’s head with her own hand. She had moved her baby down so quickly, from 0 station to +3 station in just two pushes! Jessica stayed the course and the nursery staff was called in shortly. And just 3 minutes later, Jessica and Marc welcomed their son, Ezra Mendel at 5:25 pm! When Ezra came out, a fountain of fluid followed him, spraying out in a dramatic way that left its mark on the floor and the midwife’s scrubs. He was pink from head to toe (literally) and rest against his mom’s chest before taking a quick trip at the warmer. He was returned to his mother’s arms soon after and Jessica didn’t let him go for over an hour. And for the record, he did manage to rotate into the OA position for birth, thanks to his mother maintaining her mobility even with an epidural. 

Ezra weighed 8 lb. 7 oz. and was so completely loved. Jessica and Marc noticed hairy shoulders, long fingernails, and even a dimple. He stuck his tongue out like a lizard and his parents were completely taken by him. When he was ready he latched and had his first feed as his mother looked adoringly on. This couple were beautiful partners and I am so proud of how they navigated the strong, choppy waves of labor. Welcome to the world, Ezra!

Megan and Gokhan welcomed their son, Aslan Yusuf, before the sunrise on April 2, 2021. When I first met Megan, I was struck by her youth. She was the same age as my oldest child and the reality really hit me. I jumped to conclusions based on this and was so humbled and enlightened as I got to know her. She was bubbly and eager, and extremely motivated to welcome her son in the unmedicated birth she envisioned. She was also a student in my in-depth childbirth class, further building upon the innate knowledge of her body. Megan’s cervix made some changes late in pregnancy, thinning and opening before the first labor contraction, so that by her 39-week appointment she was 3 cm and 80% effaced. Her midwife sent her home with the compliment of being the most ready for labor of the many 39-week moms she had seen that day. Still, Megan realized this had no bearing on when she would welcome her son, so she remained open to whatever may come.

And just a few hours later I got a text. Megan was having “cramps” every 6 minutes or so, painful enough to give her pause. Were these from her exam? Or maybe for some other reason? They couldn’t possibly be labor just like that, could they? And of course, we all know that yes, they can. Six hours later, just past midnight Megan reached out with an update. The contractions were 5 minutes apart and very long and painful. It was so quick! So I recommended she call her midwife to get the recommendation of whether it was a good time to head in. The midwife confirned it was, and we met up at the hospital a short time later.

Megan breathed very calmly through her surges and her midwife was pleased to say she was dilated 5-6 cm with a bulging amniotic sac. This was a good place to be, for it meant that the longest most painstaking part of labor was already done. The more intense phase was coming. Megan received some iv fluids to help stabilize her baby’s heart rate and we applied some heat to her lower back as she sat through it. After the midwife checked in and left, Megan asked me about her pain medication options. But she did so with a slight smile. This was Megan’s transition. I assured her that by asking the question we could see she was very soon going to meet her baby. She never spoke another word of it. And neither did we.

The shower was the next stop but it didn’t last long. Megan needed to take a stop on the toilet as she felt some strong rectal pressure. And sitting right there her water broke! She retuned to the bed for a quick cervical update and her midwife declared her to be 9 ½ cm dilated at 4:07 am. Megan reclined in the bed because that felt right to her. And she gracefully allowed her body’s transition contractions wash over her as she started to feel the urge to bear down at the peaks. A fan (HER fan that she directed us to) and a cold washcloth were about all she needed in that moment. And by 4:45 she was full-on pushing side-lying.

Megan rolled over to her hands and knees and pushed over the birth ball. Her midwife leaned in closely to tell her that her baby was in the OP position and would need a bit more oomph in each push to descend and rotate. And Megan delivered. Literally. Megan pushed in a lunge and we could see her son’s dark hair shortly after. The midwife reached for the delivery cart, parking it at the foot of the bed. Then she donned her paper suit and took a seat.

Megan’s pushes were instinctive and strong and effective. Her son come tumbling into the world (and even rotated into the OA position) at 5:56 am! Daddy cut the cord and a quick workup confirmed he was just fine in spite of meconium in the fluid. Megan pulled her son to her and locked into his face. Then she looked about the room at each one of us to express her glee. She had done it! Just like she knew she could. Like we all knew she could. Aslan weighed 8 lb. 3 oz. and measured 21 in. long. He was wide awake, basking in his mother’s smell and sound, peering into her face, the one he already knew.

Watching Megan embrace her labor, actually relish it, was a beautiful reminder of the gift of birthing. It is an act of courage, strength, letting go, and ultimately of love. Megan may be young, but she is already so wise. She trusts her body and believes in herself. And it is no accident those same qualities make a marvelous mother. She taught all of us some things that night. And we will be forever blessed by those lessons. No matter what is happening in the world, babies are born and mothers are strong.

Rachel and Bruce became parents on March 9, 2021 as they welcomed their daughter, Eliza Mae, in a most surprising and keep-you-on-your-toes-guessing-all-the-while sort of birth. They were educated and ready, having attended my in-depth childbirth classes. And Rachel was the oldest of 8 children so she had some insight into becoming a mother. But this would be her first go. And if we know anything about birth it is that we cannot ever know for sure how it will unfold.

Rachel’s guess date of March 1 came and went and she tried to remain calm and patient. I didn’t hear from her really until she was 41 weeks and looking at an induction in a few days if labor did not happen first. She wanted any tips for starting things up and I reminded her that nothing would do it if her body wasn’t ready, and encouraged the relaxation benefit of massage and discouraged the pressure of the massage starting labor. Exercises to optimize her baby’s position were wise as was going for walks and spending time with Bruce in the final days. Labor would start if it was time and it wouldn’t if it wasn’t. And all of the trying to get it to start wouldn’t help and would actually possibly delay labor even further from all of the stress. Rachel took the advice with plans to wait.

But less than 24 hours later the text came to my phone. It was 6:55 am on March 9 and Rachel had been feeling contractions for 3-4 hours that were finally regular, just not consistent. They were mostly not too strong so I encouraged her to rest as long as possible and only do the minimum to get through them until her body required more. She had an appointment at 2:30 for an NST and ultrasound and wondered whether she should go in. Meanwhile, the plan was to do the Miles Circuit to help baby settle into position, and use comfort measures as needed. Several more hours of inconsistent and not too strong contractions, and a call to her midwife confirmed she was to report to her appointment. Turns out she was dilated 4 cm, 80-90% effaced, and her baby was in the OP position. The ob also swept her membranes in the hopes it would get her labor into a more productive pattern. Rachel returned home and her contractions quickly escalated.

Even with steady and strong contractions, Rachel attempted another round of the Miles Circuit in the hopes her baby would move from OP to OA. She had been contracting all day and was ready to meet her baby. But with contractions only 2 ½ minutes apart, lasting a minute, there was not a lot of rest time between and Rachel still wasn’t sure. I recommended she call the midwife again and possibly head back to the hospital. After an hour of contractions at that interval, they spoke with the midwife who said to head back in.

The car ride was awful, but it always is awful in labor. And since Rachel had been laboring so intently over the phone, her midwife arranged for them to go straight to a room bypassing triage. Rachel was seen to her room and climbed upon the bed for an exam. Her midwife did the exam and said, “Well you’ll be glad to know you are fully dilated.” Talk about a shock! It was about 7:15 pm and Rachel had been there a few hours earlier dilated just 4 cm! 

Her nurse worked on admitting her into the system and preparing the delivery cart and everything else that needs to happen beforehand, while Rachel worked through very intense contractions all while laying for the requisite initial monitoring. Her water broke 10 minutes later at 7:27 pm and she was pushing a few minutes after that. A few minutes later Bruce texted me back to confirm I should come to the hospital. I left quickly and was there in 10 minutes but it would prove to be just a smidge too late…

Rachel was a great pusher and moved her baby quickly down to birth. The heart rate dipped too low for comfort and there was talk of maybe having to take measures to encourage a more rapid birth. Rachel wanted none of that and so instead she pushed like never before and her baby was crowning in no time. She pushed with such strength and brought her daughter into the world at 8:10 pm! She was born strong and vigorous after that initial cry, and I walked in the room one minute later to find Rachel clutching her newborn baby girl and trying to catch her breath. She was happy and relieved, I could tell that even from behind her mask. (Yes, she wore her mask while pushing. Amazing.) Eliza weighed 7 lb. 15 oz. and measured a lanky 22.5 in. long.

It was remarkable how much her labor changed in so short a time, bringing Rachel from 4 cm to birthed in just under 3 hours. But make no mistake, shorter is not easier. Not in childbirth. Rachel was a champion at stepping up to the task as her contractions ratcheted higher. And we’ll never know how Eliza managed to rotate in the end after being persistently OP, (Rachel’s erratic and slow to progress labor had OP written all over them), but we suspect Rachel’s diligence with the Miles Circuit had something to do with it. Or maybe it was the membrane sweep that intensified the contractions right when Rachel (and Eliza) needed it most. Perhaps it was the feeling and listening to her body that helped Rachel welcome Eliza far more than the knowing and doing that had led her up to that point. All of the red raspberry tea, pineapple, eggplant, spicy food, dates, etc in the world won’t coax out a baby who simply isn’t ready. It was patience and diligence that made all the difference. Congratulations on the surprising and wonderful birth of Eliza Mae! You rode the waves of your labor like a pro.

I’m sharing a birth experience that is quite different from the ones you see here. The mother has requested it be shared because her son has a story, just like every baby. And as his mother, she would like their journey acknowledged, however heartbreaking it may be. Megan and Dan’s journey to parenthood was not easy. Through the gift of medical advancements, they were able to conceive through IVF. After the very real awareness that birth doesn’t always just happen, Megan waited with reserved excitement for the confirmation that her pregnancy “took” and she was indeed on her way. She reached out to me on the earlier side, dotting her I’s and crossing her t’s to insure a healthy pregnancy and birth. She had done her research and selected midwifes are her primary care providers, with the goal of minimizing interventions during her birth. She and Dan attended my childbirth class at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, virtually, and would also welcome their baby in the midst of protocols to insure safety and limit the spread of the virus. We had our prenatal visit in their home, and discussed everything from logistical details to comfort measures, and even deviated to plants. When we parted we were looking eagerly forward to Megan’s birthing time and the fulfillment of her longtime dream of having children of her own.

Megan sent weekly updates following her prenatal appointments. All was well, meaning baby’s heart rate was good and he was growing fine. Her cervix was making subtle changes, but it was looking like her baby would push the envelope and gestate on the longer side. An induction was scheduled for February 24, but we hoped it wouldn’t be necessary. Then the phone call came, not a text like the weekly updates that final month telling me all was well and mom and baby were healthy. This was different. I could hear it in Megan’s voice. She had been crying. “They couldn’t find his heartbeat.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and I fell silent. A pit formed in my stomach and I held it together with an “I’m sorry.” This was devastating and I began to hold Megan’s space. Dan was on his way to her and details would be hammered out regarding support. But they were soon heading to the hospital for an induction a day sooner than expected.

Megan wrapped her head around the drastic shift in her reality and her thoughts of a natural birth suddenly felt impossible. “How can I honor Theo with the birth I have been preparing for when I know he won’t be coming home with us?” She was not afraid to ask the hard questions. She did her research and communicated openly and I answered her difficult questions as well as I was able. I responded with the reassurance that there was no wrong answer and she would find the best path for laboring her baby into the world. She would know the best thing to do and I would support her unconditionally in that. And Dan would love her the whole way through as they walked that devastating journey together.

The induction process was slow, as is often the case. But there was no cadence of a heartbeat to break up the monotony and remind her of why she was doing the work. It was a means to an end and one that she knew would be difficult and so very different than the meeting she had been envisioning for so many months. Years really. The first step was a foley bulb to encourage Megan’s cervix to open a bit more so it would be more receptive to pitocin. Megan tried to sleep that first night but it’s hard to sleep when your heart is broken and your mind is reeling. But she needed rest more than ever and she still had labor coming. Pitocin was incorporated and with it came stronger contractions. Megan accepted iv medication to help her rest and relax, as well as take the edge off the labor pain that had already begun. It could not touch the emotional pain though. An epidural soon followed, but it was not effective and Megan had several hours of intense labor even so.

Once her labor picked up it took off, which was a small mercy in the midst of such a task. Megan was dilated 8-9 cm by midday and the realization began to hit that Theo would be coming soon. We reminded Dan to eat and both of them to rest but self-care is especially difficult in grief. Megan’s body came through in amazing fashion, dilating rapidly and moving her baby down to +2 station in a short couple of hours. She continued to feel break through pain, the physical kind. But the emotional pain was just as acute. Megan began pushing sooner than expected and moved through that phase with a courage that I cannot fathom. It was a challenge she knew she had to face, and she did so without the reliable aid of the pain medication button. She relied on the physical pain to cue her to push. Megan used immense strength and powerful emotion and brought Theo out of her body with a tearful roar. He was born at 3:09 pm on February 23, 2021. And in his birth he was also gone.

The midwife gently placed Theo on Megan’s chest and she grabbed hold of him. There was no vigorous rubbing to elicit a cry. Just a gentle stroking to wipe away some blood. Dan reached out to touch his son and immediately noted all of his perfect parts. “He has ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes,” Dan whispered. Then he laughed to see the same “mean mugging face” that Megan’s dad had. Her father was Theo’s namesake and had passed away just two years ago. Seeing his expression was heartwarming and heartwrenching at the same time. He was in that room though. Megan and Dan had a lot to get to know in a short amount of time and they relished the opportunity to become familiar with their son. They were given a cuddle cot so he could spend some extended time with them before their final goodbyes. Theo was perfect. He just looked like he was asleep and I suppose he was. The cause of his sudden passing was clear at the birth and something that could not have been prevented or foreseen. It is also a very rare circumstance. But those words don’t bring comfort when your son is the rare case.

I held their space and took pictures. Megan’s nurse was kind and compassionate. She gently bathed and dressed Theo in the outfit of his parents’ choosing. It fit perfectly, although we initially had out doubts. Theo weighed 9 lb. and was 22 ¼ in. long. He had chubby cheeks and substantial shoulders and a head full of dark hair. His parents memorized those details along with so many other things none of us could begin to imagine.

There was palpable love in that room. There was sadness, yes. There was great sorrow. But there was also talk of family and stories told. Megan and Dan laughed over memories from their wedding that were ridiculous and endearing, and only made their experience more precious. I could see how much Megan and Dan valued family and how much they loved each other. I could see how much they loved their son. They modeled patience and courage as they walked through the most difficult thing a human can. They will continue that walk lifelong. I also saw yielding and openness and hope as the mention of children entered the conversation. And spring was a promise just a few weeks away, hinted by the first color growing from the ground and the first buds of the trees. I will always cherish the hours spent with Megan and Dan and the beautiful reminder it was of the strength of parents’ love and how it transcends space and time. And knowing how fleeting life can be, remembering to savor every little thing. For you just don’t know. Holding space for this sweet couple today and every day. Thank you for your lessons to us about love and loss, and for wanting to share Theo’s story.

If birth teaches us anything, it is that it is ever new. The journey of this couple to meet their second child, was definitely a new experience. Dustene and Jarrod met their son, Nezrah Oliver, on February 17, 2021 in a birth that was about as opposite from their first as it could be. They were students in my childbirth class several years ago in preparation for the birth of their first child. And that labor was a long one, in part due to it being Dustene’s first labor, but even more so because that first baby was positioned in a less than optimal way. It spanned over 24 hours and left her feeling exhausted and needing the rest an epidural could provide. Truth be told, she described it as traumatic, and she hoped for a less anxiety inducing experience this time. She approached her second birth with an open mind knowing sometimes plans change, but also with a hopeful heart in knowing each birth journey is unique. They enrolled in my refresher class to prepare for this journey, which I applauded them for. It can be more challenging to carve aside time to immerse your mind in the upcoming birth when you have a toddler to take care of. Life is busy! But they found the time to commit to reacquainting themselves with the birth process, but also to learn how a second labor is often so different than the first. 

Dustene’s body was gearing up. She felt contractions and her baby dropped in a noticeable way. She felt the stretch of her round ligaments and everything was already so different than her first. Her body was contracting quite often the day or two leading up to labor. Her baby was low which might have been part of it, but she was busy mothering an active toddler as well. Plus, her uterus was gearing up for it had done this labor thing before! 

Then in the evening of February 17, 4 days before her due date, Dustene’s water broke. At least there was some confirmation of a tangible labor event! She called her midwives to let them know and then planned to feel her way through labor at home a bit. But her body had different plans. And so did her baby. Almost immediately, Dustene was breathing through strong and close contractions. They started closer than 3 minutes apart and grew quickly to a minute long. With grandparents at home to watch big sister, they were free to leave when they were ready. And an hour after her water broke, Dustene and Jarrod were on the way to the hospital.

I met them there and could tell that Dustene was much changed. She had the demeanor of a woman deep in labor, even though it hadn’t yet been 90 minutes since her water broke. She rode a wheelchair since the prospect of the walk was too much. And in hindsight she might have given birth on the way up! Her midwife was waiting for her in the labor and delivery unity, and we were all escorted straight to a room. Dustene got upon the bed immediately for a quick exam and to get a listen to her baby’s heart beat. And her midwife confirmed that she was indeed fully dilated! There was no time for the shower, no time to labor about the room. There was hardly time to listen to the baby and certainly no time to sign consents.

 Instead, Dustene rolled over to her hands and knees where she felt most comfortable and strong and she immediately began to follow her body’s instinct to push. It didn’t take long before her baby’s head was visible. Baby’s head was born and Dustene opened her right leg into a lunge to allow her baby’s shoulders to come. He was a big boy! And Nezrah Oliver was born at 9:10 pm, scarcely 15 minutes after his mom set foot in the room. He was passed through his mom’s legs into her arms. She was in shock at first. How incredible that he was already in her arms! And then she and her husband looked down upon the child that had hurried into their lives after such a wait. And they rejoiced and laughed over the sheer exhilaration of it all. 

Dustene lay back upon the bed and held Nezrah against her chest as it all sank in. He was crying out to show everyone he was breathing well. And we could see by his chunky body that he was a substantial weight. Turns out he weighed 9 lbs. and was 21 in. long! Jarrod cut the cord and the placenta came soon after. And it was shaped like a heart! Nezrah had a head full of hair and he was born alert, taking in the faces and sounds around him. He was latched to the breast that first hour and Dustene and Jarrod marveled over the stark difference between the birth of their son and the birth of their daughter.

I smiled to watch them piece it all together and was so glad to be able to say that I told them so. I hoped and prayed that Dustene would learn the ultimate lesson of birth that every single birth journey is different. And with that comes the opportunity to write a new story and create an association with birth as short and a pleasant surprise, rather than long and traumatic—a completely different sort of surprise. I was honored to see them through this second birth full circle, after journeying with them twice as their educator. Nothing compares to holding the space of a birthing woman. And I will forever be grateful you are a woman who invited me into that space!

In the midst of a pandemic, when things are just so crazy, and extra restrictive protocols exist, it’s inspiring to see a woman transcend the baggage of the present moment, or even the past, and meet her baby in her chosen way. Introducing sweet Amara Forrest and her strong mom, Hannah. We met many months prior and Hannah made her goals clear to me about wanting as natural a birth as possible. She also explained that her birth partner would not be the father of her baby, but rather her best friend. We got to know each other over the 8-week childbirth education series I taught, and we suddenly found ourselves on Hannah’s due date.

Now ordinarily that doesn’t mean much. But I should have known. At 5:12 the morning of her due date, January 12, Hannah texted to tell me she was having waves on a regular time cycle. They were getting longer and closer and felt quite different than the Braxton Hicks she was accustomed to. Rest and hydration was the plan and she would update with news. Turns out Hannah had a challenging morning. She was vomiting often and having a hard time even keeping fluids down. Her friend, Rosey had made red raspberry leaf ice chips but that was the only thing Hannah could take in. Her contractions were coming 3 minutes apart and lasting more than a minute. So with an hour-long drive they thought it best to head to the hospital around 11:00 that morning.

Just past noon they arrived. And after going through the initial questioning, Hannah was checked and confirmed to be dilated 3 cm. But she definitely wasn’t acting like it! Her midwife suspected she was dehydrated so she recommended a bag of fluids to see if it helped her contractions to be more effective. Hannah and Rosey labored in triage for three hours. Apparently it was a very popular day for babies to be born. But some wonderful things happened over those hours. Hannah labored in positions that felt most intuitive to her, and as her contractions escalataed she met them with vocalizations. Then when she suspected a gush that might be her water breaking they summoned the nurse. Hannah was 7 cm dilated and would finally be admitted to a room! The bag of fluids definitely did the trick.

Once in her room, Hannah headed right for the shower, knowing the water would bring some relief and help her to stay loose and open through the intensity of her contractions. She continued to vocalize in the shower as Rosey and I encouraged her and spoke strength to her. Hannah was working hard and though she never wavered, she was definitely in unchartered territory. She blew through the pressure she was feeling so as not to push. Then she felt some stinging and reached down to feel what she thought was her baby’s head. It wasn’t, it was her bag of water. But her baby was not far behind.

Hannah made her way out of the shower and back onto the bed to see if it might be time to have a baby. She felt a whole lot of pressure, after all. And sure enough, Hannah was fully dilated and her water broke during the exam as if to punctuate the discovery. She rolled over to her hands and knees and pushed in a kneel before leaning over the birth ball to push the couple of contractions that remained. Hannah pushed her baby out so quickly, even her midwife didn’t expect it. She had stepped out briefly and in that short time (one contraction!) Hannah brought her baby’s head down to her perineum. The nurse came in to cup her hand in protection, and another push brough the head and the baby’s body right as the midwife returned. Amara Forrest entered the world calmly and quietly, giving her nurse her first catch! Hannah pushed through only a couple of contractions before welcoming her baby at 3:39 pm on January 12, 2021.

Hannah was in awe and wonder as she looked upon her daughter, and then the emotions flowed with the tears. “She’s so beautiful!” fell from Hannah and Rosey’s mouths. Hannah lay down upon the bed and cradled her Amara with such joy and tenderness. Her instincts kicked in and she longed to bring her baby to her breast as soon as possible. Her placenta came in time, shaped like a heart, but there were some complications that would require some assistance postpartum.

But in the meantime, Amara nursed for 25 minutes straight and her mom fell deeply in love with her and became a doting mother in an instant. She and Rosey were a beautiful partnership in labor and to see them was reminiscent of the days when women always birthed with women by their side. Amara weighed a chunky 8 lb. 4 oz. and was 21 ¼ in. long. She had such a thick neck roll I would have guessed she weighed 9 lb. for sure!

Leaving this birth had me feeling hopeful in some ways, as I saw my client rise above the medical constraints that are endemic to the hospital setting during a pandemic. I also saw her triumph through a challenging separation from her birth team in triage, finding her way one contraction at a time with virtual doula support in the interim. It was not ideal, to be completely honest, but in these crazy times, we were all grateful to have been connected and ultimately reunited for the most trying part of the birth. I am so thankful for being invited into a sacred space and for being reminded of the autonomy and strength that resides in every birthing woman if she is given the opportunity to express it. And thank you for my first ever doula baby to share my first name!

Lindsey and David welcomed their sweet baby girl, Delilah Moon, on December 18, 2020. Their birth was a great example of how unpredictable birth can be. It always keeps us humble. At a routine prenatal appointment and NST, it was noted that Lindsey’s amniotic fluid levels were low. Since she was already 10 days beyond her due date and had an induction just days away, they felt it best to err on the side of caution and begin induction that evening. Plus, Lindsey’s cervix was still closed so there was some groundwork to be laid.

She was admitted that evening for some cervical ripening overnight on December 16, 2020. A Cook Balloon was inserted along with some low dose Pitocin and Lindsey and David settled in for the night. But Delilah didn’t respond well to the combo as her heart rate fell low. The Pitocin was turned off and the balloon removed and the midwife was very pleased to learn that Lindsey was dilated 5 cm. The plan was for Lindsey to eat a breakfast, monitor the baby and resume Pitocin in an hour. Slow and gradual was the name of the game and the day consisted of increasing Pitocin and gauging baby’s response as to whether to raise it or turn it off. Just after 4:00 that afternoon, Lindsey was dilated 5-6 cm and the midwife broke her water. The hope was that her body would respond with contractions that moved to active labor. Their intensity escalated quickly, and with the Pitocin at 18.0 mu, Lindsey was coping with her strong contractions well. She labored beside the bed, slow danced with David, used a heat pack on her back, and continued to move.

Another bout of decels had the Pitocin turned off again, however. Lindsey was dilated 5 cm and 80% effaced but had not made a lot of cervical change since the morning. Her uterus would need more time, but it was anybody’s guess whether her baby would be able to tolerate labor for a long time. A fetal scalp electrode provide the reassurance of baby’s true heart rate in response to contractions and seemed a good compromise to keep the induction plan moving forward. Lindsey labored upright in the bed, hoping to get gravity to help. The Pitocin was still turned off based on her baby’s prior response to it. And the hope was that she might not even need it. She continued her labor dance drifting through child’s pose, slow dancing, dangling with the rebozo from the squat bar on the bed, and even lunges. And Lindsey’s hard work paid off because she went from 7 cm dilated at 8:20 pm to 8-9 cm dilated just past 10:00! In the throes of transition, Lindsey still found the confidence to say, “This shit is crazy!” followed by “I’m a badass bitch!” And indeed she was!

Hands and knees over the peanut ball provided some back relief and encouraged Delilah’s heart rate to recover from an earlier position that caused another drop. Valor essential oil gave an emotional boost as Lindsey edged toward pushing, and by 11:21 pm she was fully dilated. Her baby remained high at 0 station however, so there was still some work to be done. Lindsey reached out for Davey’s hand, something she did time and time again over the course of her labor. Their connection was a beautiful thing to witness. In the midst of a complicated induction, they were tethered to each other providing ballast through unchartered and choppy waters.

At 12:15 am on December 18, the Pitocin was resumed at a low dose in the hopes it would encourage Lindsey’s baby to move deeper into the pelvis for a vaginal birth. An hour later at 1:30 am and 4.0 mu of Pitocin, Lindsey made the difficult decision to get an epidural. She was exhausted after being up for two nights and laboring through contractions for the whole day, but also to salvage some rest before pushing. But soon afterward, the baby’s heart rate dipped lower and longer than it had before, bringing the OB on call to her room for a conversation. After palpating the baby’s location, he determined that an amnioinfusion might provide enough of a cushion to free up the cord and allow baby more room to fine tune her position for a vaginal. Birth. The plan was to rest, resume Pitocin (again), and then to push.

But then as if in answer to that plan, Delilah’s heart rate dipped again, this time even deeper and longer than the other ones. And the OB looked Lindsey in the face and said very gently that her baby was choosing a different road. There were concerns about the baby’s ability to handle hours of pushing, especially with decels happening that were already so significant. And Lindsey and David agreed that a c-section birth was the safest way to meet their baby. After laboring all day and dilating to 10 cm without pain medication, Lindsey opted for a complete change in plans for the safety of her baby. I have such admiration for moments like that, when a mother has to relinquish control and reframe her birth experience in such a vastly different way than what she had originally envisioned. 

And at 4:29 am on December 18, 2020, Lindsey and Davey met their sweet Delilah at long last. She weighed 6 lb. 12 oz. and measured 21 in. long and was every bit as perfect as they had imagined. And you would think this was where the birth story ends. However, Lindsey took a turn for the worse, and after receiving blood products her vitals weren’t improving. So she was rushed back to the OR for what they initially expected to be a quick fix. But it wasn’t. The doctor discovered some internal lacerations that required swift attention. Lindsey was put under general anesthesia and underwent emergency surgery that lasted several hours. Davey and Delilah had some quality daddy-daughter bonding time, while Lindsey spent the night in the ICU recovering.

At the time of this writing, Lindsey, Davey and Delilah are settled nicely at home getting to know each other and their new family dynamic. Lindsey is navigating early motherhood day by day, trusting her mommy instincts to do what feels right for her daughter. Davey is a constant support, helping and available just as he was during the birth process. Even in the midst of a downright birth odyssey and complicated postpartum, these new parents are thriving and moving forward confidently and full of love and patience for each other. They were adamant that their story be shared. Birth can look so very different from one person to the next. And even when you think you’ve made it through the most difficult part, there could still be a surprise lurking around the corner. And it is in this way that birth is the perfect training ground for parenting. You just never know what the journey will look like. You only know that it is a journey you must take. Flexibility, compassion, patience, and resilience, much like what Lindsey and Davey demonstrated, are incredible attributes for parents to have. They are definitely starting on the right foot.

Isabella and Corey are parents! They welcomed their sweet ray of sunshine, Callie Lucille, on November 21! It was such an honor when Isabella shared the secret of her pregnancy because I had been lucky to work by her side at many births. She is a nurse! But being a nurse can make it more challenging to be the patient, and Isabella knew this to be true. Her body dilated gradually and she felt waves of contractions come and go for weeks. Nighttime was the hardest because that’s when her uterus would gear up. She did Miles Circuit and was mindful of being restful, knowing she would need energy when those contractions organized themselves into active labor. Then on Saturday evening I got a text at 5;25 with a contraction pattern and the comment that “the last three have gotten really strong. I’ll let you know in another hour.” Isabella had felt the familiar bout of contractions 10-15 minutes apart, but they picked up in intensity around 4:30 that afternoon. I reminded her that she had been feeling contractions for weeks and unless they were different they were likely more of the same. And this was when Isabella assured me she really thought they were different. She would keep me posted and continue various positions as she was able.

Two hours later I got a text that Isabella and Corey were going to the hospital. And Isabella said, “I’ll let you know if we are staying.” So I waited to hear back. Wellllllll, it was definitely labor because when Isabella arrived her midwife did an exam and confirmed she was 8 cm dilated! Thank goodness I live close and was able to be there a few minutes later. I walked in the room at 8:20 to find Isabella working hard to stay centered during her contractions as well as in between. She was answering questions even as her contractions intensified, trying in earnest to help her fellow nurse complete her admissions tasks. Corey and I circulated wet cloths on Isabella’s head. She was generating a lot of heat from her transition labor! “I can’t do this,” did escape Isabella’s mouth, along with other things like, “I want an epidural,” but Isabella was rocking it and facing each contraction with courage and determination when they came. We recognized it as transition talking and knew she would have her baby in her arms very soon. Isabella was pushing by 8:55 pm.

Isabella welcomed her midwife’s offer to break her water, she was already pushing and we could already see birth was imminent. “Out, out, out, come out, baby, you hurt!” was Isabella’s mantra to Callie. They were working so well together every step of the way, as if Callie heard her mom’s words and obeyed. Isabella reached her hand down to confidently feel her baby’s head. I just love that moment of connection and awe so much! It doesn’t matter that Isabella had witnessed hundreds of babies being born. She was so captivated you never would have known. Isabella connected with her baby again and again in this way, and it spurred her on to keep pushing.

Isabella brought her baby to a crown and sighed and stretched as she gently eased her out. And Callie was born at 9:18 pm with her amniotic membranes around her waist like a skirt. She was such a girly girl from the start! Isabella grabbed Callie up to her and noted right away she did not have a tongue tie. And she also told her nurse she was comfortable with postpartum Pitocin if she felt it necessary. Yes, Isabella was definitely a L&D nurse. She smiled at her midwife and thanked her for catching her baby and graciously allowed her coworkers to pop in and congratulate her. I imagine they were jockeying for position to be in that room for delivery, knowing it was their friend, Isabella giving birth! Membership has its perks, because her midwife brought her some pizza and cookies from the staff room saying, “You get the reward for the hardest working nurse on the unit today.” No one would argue that! Callie was 19 ½ in. long and weighed in officially at 6 lb. 4.4 oz. But I have to give Isabella credit for her estimated weight of 6 lb. 5 oz.! Truly, mommy knows best.

Isabella had a greater challenge before her simply by being a nurse herself. She even finished her shift the day her labor got going. But she managed to take care of her husband’s needs—making him mac and cheese during labor to keep HIS strength up, assist her nurse—she helped her with proper ice pack placement, and even thanked every member of her birth team for being there. But don’t let her sweetness mislead you because I can vouge for the fact that when it comes to birth, she is a downright warrior with unfailing strength who is not afraid to let a few adult words slip from her mouth. It was such a joy to accompany this couple to parenthood. Well done!