The Birth of Nezrah Oliver 2/17/21

If birth teaches us anything, it is that it is ever new. The journey of this couple to meet their second child, was definitely a new experience. Dustene and Jarrod met their son, Nezrah Oliver, on February 17, 2021 in a birth that was about as opposite from their first as it could be. They were students in my childbirth class several years ago in preparation for the birth of their first child. And that labor was a long one, in part due to it being Dustene’s first labor, but even more so because that first baby was positioned in a less than optimal way. It spanned over 24 hours and left her feeling exhausted and needing the rest an epidural could provide. Truth be told, she described it as traumatic, and she hoped for a less anxiety inducing experience this time. She approached her second birth with an open mind knowing sometimes plans change, but also with a hopeful heart in knowing each birth journey is unique. They enrolled in my refresher class to prepare for this journey, which I applauded them for. It can be more challenging to carve aside time to immerse your mind in the upcoming birth when you have a toddler to take care of. Life is busy! But they found the time to commit to reacquainting themselves with the birth process, but also to learn how a second labor is often so different than the first. 

Dustene’s body was gearing up. She felt contractions and her baby dropped in a noticeable way. She felt the stretch of her round ligaments and everything was already so different than her first. Her body was contracting quite often the day or two leading up to labor. Her baby was low which might have been part of it, but she was busy mothering an active toddler as well. Plus, her uterus was gearing up for it had done this labor thing before! 

Then in the evening of February 17, 4 days before her due date, Dustene’s water broke. At least there was some confirmation of a tangible labor event! She called her midwives to let them know and then planned to feel her way through labor at home a bit. But her body had different plans. And so did her baby. Almost immediately, Dustene was breathing through strong and close contractions. They started closer than 3 minutes apart and grew quickly to a minute long. With grandparents at home to watch big sister, they were free to leave when they were ready. And an hour after her water broke, Dustene and Jarrod were on the way to the hospital.

I met them there and could tell that Dustene was much changed. She had the demeanor of a woman deep in labor, even though it hadn’t yet been 90 minutes since her water broke. She rode a wheelchair since the prospect of the walk was too much. And in hindsight she might have given birth on the way up! Her midwife was waiting for her in the labor and delivery unity, and we were all escorted straight to a room. Dustene got upon the bed immediately for a quick exam and to get a listen to her baby’s heart beat. And her midwife confirmed that she was indeed fully dilated! There was no time for the shower, no time to labor about the room. There was hardly time to listen to the baby and certainly no time to sign consents.

 Instead, Dustene rolled over to her hands and knees where she felt most comfortable and strong and she immediately began to follow her body’s instinct to push. It didn’t take long before her baby’s head was visible. Baby’s head was born and Dustene opened her right leg into a lunge to allow her baby’s shoulders to come. He was a big boy! And Nezrah Oliver was born at 9:10 pm, scarcely 15 minutes after his mom set foot in the room. He was passed through his mom’s legs into her arms. She was in shock at first. How incredible that he was already in her arms! And then she and her husband looked down upon the child that had hurried into their lives after such a wait. And they rejoiced and laughed over the sheer exhilaration of it all. 

Dustene lay back upon the bed and held Nezrah against her chest as it all sank in. He was crying out to show everyone he was breathing well. And we could see by his chunky body that he was a substantial weight. Turns out he weighed 9 lbs. and was 21 in. long! Jarrod cut the cord and the placenta came soon after. And it was shaped like a heart! Nezrah had a head full of hair and he was born alert, taking in the faces and sounds around him. He was latched to the breast that first hour and Dustene and Jarrod marveled over the stark difference between the birth of their son and the birth of their daughter.

I smiled to watch them piece it all together and was so glad to be able to say that I told them so. I hoped and prayed that Dustene would learn the ultimate lesson of birth that every single birth journey is different. And with that comes the opportunity to write a new story and create an association with birth as short and a pleasant surprise, rather than long and traumatic—a completely different sort of surprise. I was honored to see them through this second birth full circle, after journeying with them twice as their educator. Nothing compares to holding the space of a birthing woman. And I will forever be grateful you are a woman who invited me into that space!