Nicole and Barry welcomed their third child, Silas Asher, on January 8, 2021. Nicole had experienced epidurals with her first two births but wanted to try for a different experience this time. She desired to feel her body’s cues, particularly during second stage so as to facilitate the pushing progress by listening more to her body and less to other people’s voices. Her body did some early ripening in preparation for birth, dilating 2 cm and 50% effacement by 37-weeks. Then a week later she was a “loose 3 cm”, so taking baby steps towards birth, no pun intended. And to make things a bit more exciting and confusing, she was up in the night with contractions off and on that eventually dissipated. Her uterus was busy doing things, just not yet going into labor.

Then nearly a week later Nicole was having regular contractions that were steady at 5 minutes apart. It was a sensible time to head to the hospital so Nicole could labor without the children underfoot. She knew she would be more able to tune into her body knowing her kids were taken care of. Nicole and Barry were in the car by 6:00 am and contractions had moved closer to 3-4 minutes apart. Nicole was dilated 5-6 cm and admitted. It happened to be shift change but Barry’s stern advocacy for his wife helped speed the process of moving to a room by 7:15.

Nicole labored about the room in positions that felt right to her. She was very calm and instinctive as she labored, and Barry was her constant companion through it all. I remember telling her she was strong and controlled, and she would look up and smile. Between her contractions she was peaceful, not anxious or scared. And this is not often the case when a woman has experienced multiple labors with epidurals. She found a trust and the desire within herself that she could labor through the contractions without pain medications. And she did not let the surges overwhelm her.

Nicole’s water broke on its own at 7:27 am as she sat on the edge of the bed. She told us it had happened, there was no need for anyone to declare it. The puddle gave it away! She felt her contractions intensify soon after and found that leaning over the birth ball upon the bed gave her a sense of power and also happened to be a great position to encourage her baby’s descent to birth. Barry and Nicole locked eyes and their connection was a beautiful part of Nicole’s labor. We placed cold cloths on her forehead and back and she heated them up quickly with her body. But she stayed focused and soon her body signaled that it was time to push.

Nicole labored her baby down and then pushed intentionally with the contractions she felt. Her baby’s heart rate dipped at times, which is not uncommon during the second stage of labor. But he always recovered with variability between. She followed her body and stayed focused. Again, her trust and commitment to her natural birth was astounding, and made even more so by the serenity of her countenance during this birth. Her midwife and OB encouraged her, and Nicole was able to hone in on what her body and baby needed her to do, especially at the end when her baby’s heart rate dipped even more. 

Silas Asher was born at 8:51 am on January 8 and placed in his mother’s waiting arms. Barry was beside himself with pride and joy, and Nicole’s beautiful smile was all we needed to see to know of her bliss. Those postpartum hormones are real and they do mighty work to encourage loving bonding. There was so much love overflowing in that space, such gratitude from everyone just for the privilege of being there, and gratitude from Barry and Nicole to all of us as well. It was a veritable love fest. The nurses and midwife were in awe of how Nicole handled herself in labor. Her confidence and trust in the process and her body were truly remarkable. She was the epitome of serenity. Honest.

Silas weighed 7 lb. 7 oz. and measured 20.5 in. long. But those stats weren’t determined until after the magic hour with his mommy and daddy for snuggling, breastfeeding, and getting to know each other. This birth was another reminder that every birth is new and different, and always presents the opportunity to see beauty in its uniqueness. From start to finish, Nicole was in labor for just 5 hours. With the craziness of a pandemic pervading so much of what we do, I am extremely grateful and hopeful that the simplest yet profound miracle of birth remains a constant. Thank goodness for that mainstay of optimism. New life, new hope, new possibilities, new love.

Candace and Jacob, welcomed their second child, Madeline Isabelle, on September 14! It felt like yesterday when I had attended the birth of their fistborn. Well, I guess in a way it had only a short time earlier, given how closely spaced their babies are. This was a clue from the start that Candace’s uterus would be up for the task and jump right back into the job of labor with little warning. This baby would come quickly, no doubt. The biggest challenge would be getting out the door in time with the logistical details of making sure big sister was taken care of. There were some big changes that occurred on the early side of this pregnancy. Candace’s midwives switched hospitals, they moved into a new house, and last but certainly not least, a pandemic swept the globe leaving hospitals and pregnant women confused and worried about how things would play out. But all in all, Candace and Jacob seemed to ride the tides of uncertainty with a grounded perspective and this would prove to be their greatest asset in labor.

Candace’s first labor was intense from the start, due to a membrane sweep that got her cervix all reactive with strong contractions that rivaled very active labor (but that weren’t). She was familiar with minimizing and ignoring, so when she first felt rhythmic contractions she shrugged them off. She texted me at 12:21 am on September 14 to tell me she “thought” she was having contractions, not even that she thought she was in labor. So she was draped over the birth ball as she waited to see if it was anything. I reminded her to hydrate and rest and if she felt strong contractions to get details in place so she could leave for the hospital. This was a second baby after all, and they have a way of coming quickly when they come. At 1:55 am another text came through telling me the midwife recommended she head in since she would need antibiotics. Her contractions were coming at a steady clip of 2-3 minutes, although not really taking her breath away yet. They followed the recommendation of the midwife and loaded in the car for the 25-minute drive to the hospital.

I wasn’t sure if she wanted me to head in so I texted to ask. With no response I just got in my car to meet them there. I was en route when I got the text at 2:36 am that she was feeling intense pelvic pressure. I was driving at the time and 10 minutes later right as I parked the car at the hospital, Jacob called to tell me Candace was just admitted and checked and dilated 8 cm. I could hear Candace in the background and she was much changed from when we had last communicated on the way to the hospital. Oh my word, I had to hurry! I ran to the main entrance to the hospital. Then waited to be let in by security. I ran upstairs to the unit and then waited to be admitted and given the bracelet granting me access to Candace’s room. Then I ran down the hall to her room (yes, all the way down the hall, it was so far!), knocked, opened the door right as the midwife was handing Madeline to Candace! I put down my things and rushed to Candace’s side.

Madeline was born at 2:48 am, 3 minutes after Jacob called me to tell me Candace was 8 cm. It was a whirlwind of a labor that had Candace clutching her baby with Jacob by her side, both with startled and joy-filled expressions on their faces. From start to finish this labor was not even 2 ½ hours long, and that is counting from the very first contraction when Candace was trying to figure out if she was having real contractions. Recalling the details of those first minutes, Candace had just gotten on the bed to be monitored laying on her side when her water broke. Laying down was intolerable to her at that point so she instinctively rolled over to her hands and knees and felt the urge to push. She pushed twice and Madeline entered the world. Jacob was able to look and see his baby’s head as it was emerging too. And Candace proved her midwife’s prediction made minutes prior during the exam. She said, “The good news is you’re going to have this baby in 10-15 minutes.” But in reality she had her baby in less than 5 minutes! Madeline weighed 7 lb. 13.4 oz. and measured 20 in. long. She had a head full of dark hair with dark eye brows to match, just like her mom. 

While her nurse worked on getting her admitted simultaneously while doing all of the immediate postpartum tasks, Candace and Jacob reveled in the birth and began talking through how they could be discharged as soon as possible. Yes, they were definitely veteran parents. A year of parenting had done them good! Shorter births are no less challenging. Many would say they are more difficult because so much is compressed in a short time. But Candace was a rock star as she labored, never taking things more seriously than necessary, and always getting the work done. I loved how her birth washed over her and left her wondering what happened. I love that her labor was fast and furious and she was grateful for it. I love that Jacob was beside her the whole way through, encouraging and rejoicing in the wonder of seeing his child being born. Women amaze me. And birth humbles me. I’m so grateful to have been there, even if it was right after.

Madeline now

Jacqueline and Tony welcomed their third child, Cooper Jay, on June 12. After giving it some thought, and listening to what her heart had been saying for many years, Jacqueline decided to welcome Cooper at home. After all, she herself had been born at home and she had always felt drawn to it. This was also my third time to serve as their doula so we rejoiced together with the previous births and looked forward to welcoming Cooper with just as much love. Jaqueline was in her first trimester during a time of much upeaval. The Midwifery Center at DePaul had just closed its doors, and her beloved midwives who had cared so well for her twice before, would be attending births at a different facility that did not have the same amenities, aka a birth tub. Then the world was overtaken by the COVID-19 pandemic, further affecting her birth options, most namely, that she could have her doula and children present. Finally, she had good reasons to just listen to the desires of her heart without reservation. She did her research and found her midwife. 

Towards the end of her pregnancy, Jacqueline lost sleep over bouts of contractions that left her confused and frustrated, and very exhausted. After one particularly tough night, she reached out to me. And as it turned out, those contractions would never relent and I was at her house shortly after lunch. Jacqueline was lovingly doted on by her daughter who was a veritable doula in training! Tony drifted in and out to take care of the children’s needs as well as giving Jacqueline the in person emotional support she needed. Things were slow to intensify, but several hours later, once her midwifes had arrived, Jacqueline drifted into more active labor. Her contractions were strong and she felt pressure like she might need to push but she could sense that her baby wasn’t descending. Her midwife did an exam and confirmed that Jacqueline was dilated 7 cm and 90% effaced. Her baby was likely malpositioned so the recommendation was to do some stair walking. Jacqueline had already been laboring in a variety of positions but her baby needed a bit more. So she walked up and down the stairs, legs spread as far as she could manage, all while having contractions, for about 45 minutes. The stairs flipped a switch and Jacqueline was working. I recommended the shower and she returned to where she had already felt such comfort hours before. Jacqueline felt such pressure from her contractions that she knew her baby would be born shortly. Then we heard a loud splash (over the sound of the shower!) as her water broke. And with a growl her baby was quickly on the verge of birth. Jacqueline only pushed a couple of times before her son entered the world at 9:41 pm! She grabbed him to her chest and took in all of the emotions. 

Jacqueline was surrounded by her husband and children, feeling all of the love…and admiration, as we heard, “I didn’t know my mom had superpowers!” She settled into her own bed in her own room as she completed delivery of the placenta and began her recovery. Her children peeked in on their baby brother and welcomed him with snuggles and sweet words. Tony and Jacqueline exchanged a kiss and after admiring Cooper, Tony went downstairs to prepare a snack plate for Jacqueline and the kids. After some extended skin to skin time and nursing, Cooper was weighed and measured. His numbers came to 7 lb. 7 oz. and 20 in. long. He had a head full of brown hair which prompted Jacqueline to share with us that she had dreamed years ago she would welcome a brown-haired son. Clearly his time had come. I love that Jacqueline listened to her heart instead of her head so much. She is a thinker. She followed her desire to welcome her baby at home, and she even followed her yearning for a third child, who turned out to be the one she had been dreaming of all this time. Congratulations again to this family who is so dear to me. I appreciate you and am grateful to have journeyed in birth with you three times.

Cooper now at 3 months old