I first met Sara and Phil in my Spinning Babies Parent class. Their first child was born by c-section because she was in the footling breech position, and they were very motivated to assemble tools to encourage their second baby to orient herself head down! After learning so much, they decided a doula would be a worthy investment as well. And I was blessed when they approached me, and I was able to take them as clients! That’s a little backstory which I think helps add depth to the way labor happened.

Sara’s providers were supportive of her desire for a VBAC as long as her cervix was showing signs of readiness and as long as she didn’t go too late in her pregnancy. A repeat c-section was scheduled for April 10, three days past her due date, in the event her cervix was not favorable for induction. Thankfully, everything lined up and Sara’s cervix made gradual changes in the weeks leading up, dilating to 2 cm at 38 weeks, and then to 3 cm the next week. Sara’s doctor removed the c-section from the schedule and changed it to an induction. This was a victory! Although Sara hoped not to need the induction at all.

Then a week before her induction date, Sara felt the first regular contractions that were different than the random scattered contractions of the previous weeks. She reached out by text to alert me to the fact that she was having some “cramping feelings a few times an hour.” They started overnight but were persisting into the morning, although mild and unpredictable. The plan was to minimize and ignore, while also hydrating, eating, resting and generally taking care of herself. If there were movements toward active labor I wanted her to let me know.

Sara went about her day as planned: she attended a routine chiropractor appointment, ate a light lunch, and sent me a text just past 1:00 pm that gave the news of more regular contractions. Sara clocked them at every 6-8 minutes and lasting 30-40 seconds. They were still mild, although constant at that interval for an hour, so she was back to the self-care and ignoring, minimizing, resting routine until they were 5 minutes apart and lasting longer than a minute.

Then suddenly, Sara’s labor took an active turn. An hour later, Phil (not Sara!) texted to tell me the contractions were every 2-3 minutes and lasting about 40 seconds. I reminded them to do the Spinning Babies Three Balances to make sure baby’s position was good, and to encourage the contractions to get even longer and stronger. 

By 3:30pm, after doing some Spinning Babies things, Sara’s contractions were lasting a minute and happening every 3 minutes! Sara was ready to go to the hospital. After planning to wait for an update after they arrived, I thought it best to meet them there. And I’m so glad I did!

I got to Sara’s room a few minutes after she did. And when I arrived, I was told she was 9 cm! Sara was laying on her back in the bed, looking awkward and uncomfortable as her nurse admitted her and checked on baby’s fetal heart rate. The monitor was part of Sara’s labor since she was hoping for a VBAC, but she wouldn’t need it long.

Sara had hoped to have a vaginal birth without pain medications but wasn’t sure if it would happen. It can also be suggested by providers to get an epidural just in case the birth ends up going to the OR for a repeat c-section as a way to make sure the mom is more prepped for that. Sara arrived at the hospital at the PERFECT time to avoid pain medications and to labor most of the time in the comfort of her own home with a beautiful ocean view.

She was clearly uncomfortable in that position and having a hard time staying calm with her intense contractions. I recommended she roll over to her hands and knees and reminded her to focus on deep breaths to center her. And once she turned over, her sister got busy doing the Spinning Babies jiggle to her pelvis which happened to be the most effective tool at home the last hour or two!

Sara’s midwife was in the room, perched at the foot of the bed. The room began to fill with people since birth was clearly imminent. At 4:40 pm Sara’s water broke with a splash off the side of the bed onto the floor, nearly missing my shoes! And with the next contraction she lurched in the unmistakable way that indicated it was time to push. And Sara pushed so well. She lay on her side to push and it was only a few contractions before we could see her baby’s head crowning. And at 4:57 pm, Maia June was born to the wonderment of everyone but especially her mom, dad and aunt. “It just went so fast!” was Phil’s mantra over and over as he stared at his newborn baby with a smile plastered across his face.

Sara’s sister was in town to help care for her first child, and just happened to be in the room for the birth. She continued her labor support that had begun at home, and watched in awe as her sister gave birth. She cried and gushed to Sara about how strong and amazing she was and then she was gone at 5:00 to go pick up big sister! Maia couldn’t have timed her entrance more perfectly.

Sara soaked in the immediate skin to skin time with baby Maia and she was given the additional good news that she didn’t tear. Sara listened carefully when I reminded her to blow and not push hard at the end and she will reap the benefits of that control and patience with an easier recovery.

Maia June weighed 6 lb. 14 oz. and was 19.5 in. long at birth. Sara and Phil explained to me that Maia was given the middle name June because it was derived from Juno the Roman goddess and protector of childbirth and family. Looking back on how Maia’s birth unfolded, it seemed the perfect way to honor just how amazing everything was.

I am so proud of Sara. You might think it’s because she showed up 9 cm and had an unmedicated VBAC as she had hoped. And yes, I am proud of her for that. But I am even more proud of her for trusting her body but also for being open and flexible should her birth shift to an induction or even a repeat c-section. I am proud of how she felt her way through labor, ignoring the early parts and coping mightily at home when things took a short and intense turn to active. I am proud of her for staying focused after arriving to the hospital. As all the people swirled around her readying the room, she was trained on what my voice and her body were telling her. Sara emerged from this birth empowered and strong and that’s what I hope all of my clients get from their birth experiences.

Summer and David welcomed their second baby, this time a boy, on March 29. Summer’s first baby was very content to remain in the breech position. It didn’t matter what her mama did, she was resolute in staying head up. Summer went through all the emotions that come when a birth doesn’t go as you envisioned, and she met her baby girl in a scheduled c-section.

This time she was once again committed to giving birth vaginally if possible. She chose the same providers knowing their reputation for supporting VBACS (vaginal birth after cesarean). And time ticked on in her pregnancy much more rapidly than it had the first time. (Babies make time go faster!) Summer and David’s first child was still a baby herself and would be 16 months at the time of her brother’s birth. She was toddling and very busy, and Summer found herself busy and, on her feet, chasing her firstborn.

This baby was head down at least. Thank goodness! But this child posed a different set of challenges. He was so content inside that he wasn’t showing any signs of budging. An induction became the likely plan, but only if Summer’s body was showing signs of readiness. Her providers wanted to be sure they could encourage a gentle induction and with her recent c-section they were limited in the cervical ripeners that would be safe for her.

As Summer’s due date came and went, it was clear that her only option for a vaginal birth was an induction. But sadly, her cervix wasn’t showing any signs of getting ready. Closed, thick, and high. These were the words she heard from one appointment to the next. A final NST and ultrasound made it official. Her baby was measuring 8 lb. 13oz. and had his hand by his head. Her providers were not comfortable with an induction. So, they recommended a repeat c-section. (Spoiler alert: remember that ultrasound weight…)

Look at those rolls!

Summer mourned the change in her birth once again. She took the time she needed to process it and then gathered herself in preparation for what was to come. Her recovery would be different simply because she had a toddler roaming about. The need for rest would be even more important this time. The c-section was scheduled for 1:30 pm on March 29, but was soon changed to the first scheduled c-section of the day. Summer surmised it was probably her compassionate OB’s doing, knowing it would give her less time to stress over it.

Along those lines, Summer advocated for what she needed. And that included how I could best serve as her doula. She requested I come after the birth and provide support then as she processed everything. The c-section went well. Music played, courtesy of DJ David. Notable songs were Mama Mia by Abba and Wanna Be by Spice Girls. The music helped with Summer’s anxiety, and so did her deep breaths. At one point she breathed so deeply she lowered her heart rate into the 40s! Sage David was born at 8:21 am, but he needed more respiratory support than expected. Summer got a glimpse of him right after he was born, but soon it was a quick kiss and then he was off to the nursery. That was disheartening as it meant he wouldn’t be with Summer for skin to skin at first. David went with him to the nursery and Summer requested I come at that point.

And one more thing about Sage. He was a big boy! He weighed 11 pounds! Ultrasounds can be off by 20% when used to gauge baby’s size in the final weeks, but this ultrasound was off by 25% in the wrong direction! Suffice it to say, Summer welcomed the big number with relief as it helped her feel even more justified in the repeat c-section. I have seen several 11-pound babies born vaginally unmedicated, but Summer was content to sidestep that experience. And I was happy she got validation for the c-section through that detail of his weight! An 11-pound baby definitely wouldn’t have made labor any easier.

I was by Summer’s side soon after she called. I helped her process things but also aided in her advocacy regarding getting information about Sage and when she could go and see him. She was recovering from the c-section well and was on her way to visit him by wheelchair before I left. And he was back with her later that night.

All in all, this birth experience was less traumatic than the first one. Summer told me there were some bonuses too. She didn’t get extremely nauseous like last time since the anesthesiologist was able to adjust her meds this time to prevent that. Plus her OB was able to give her a scar revision, which she appreciated. And to top it off, her doctor did come see her later that Sage was very high in her pelvis and the VBAC may not have happened even if she had tried. This was just another validation! Summer felt the c-section was the best decision, especially in light (or heavy?) of her son’s weight. I just love when birth can be healing. And this one was.

DeAnn and Tyler welcomed their second son on March 25. DeAnn was no stranger to an induced labor since her first baby came that way. However, she had hoped to avoid induction this time with the plan to labor at home as long as possible. She gave birth the first time without pain medications but hoped to have a gentler journey to welcome this baby. One in which she followed her body’s own cues as labor began.

DeAnn’s body was moving in the right direction and had been for weeks. She was dilated 2-3 cm at 39 weeks, but there she remained at 40 weeks. And then she went beyond her due date and the stress of childcare overcame her. She worried that her mother who was staying with her to help would have to leave before her baby came. The stress of going into labor without her there brought a lot of anxiety and had DeAnn trying all of the self-induction methods she could find. But none of them were working. I recommended she stop trying to put herself into labor and rather relax and be patient. She told me she would give it a try. And she made arrangements for her mother-in-law to come help after her mom left if it came to that.

Eventually, an induction was scheduled for 1 ½ weeks after her due date. DeAnn still hoped not to need it but she had also made peace with another induction. Her baby waited and she found herself checking into the hospital to get admitted for the induction process. She was dilated 4 cm so that meant she wouldn’t need ripening, which was a good thing. They began the process by breaking her water. Baby’s heart rate dipped so they held off in pitocin which worked out for the best since DeAnn had hoped to avoid it anyway. Instead, they used a breast pump to bring on contractions.

Within an hour or two, DeAnn was feeling contractions she had to breathe through. At 10:10 pm she told me she was able to cope with them just fine. But by 11:00 pm her contractions were already ranging between 3-5 minutes apart. It was time for me to head in since it made no sense to wait and see in this case!

DeAnn rolled over the ball on the bed to labor on her hands and knees for a bit but she returned to sitting on the ball. She leaned forward against the bed during contractions, breathing deeply through each peak and returned to us in the space between them. She was able to chat just fine during the breaks but was clearly drawn into the work of labor when the contractions came.

DeAnn was soon vocalizing through each contraction and told us she felt things were getting harder. (Yes! We could tell!) Her contractions went from 3-5 minutes apart to a steady pattern of every 2 ½ minutes in a very short time. And it was evident from her demeanor that her labor had taking a sharp turn to active.

She had a strong desire for hydrotherapy, so we prepared the shower for her with votives and lavender aromatherapy on a wet washcloth hung in the shower. She had an aromatherapy pillow she brought from home and smelled the lavender in it through each contraction by the bed, so this was an attempt to keep the lavender nearby. And DeAnn responded well to it. She entered the shower at 12:23 am on March 25.

Two minutes later DeAnn told us she felt a lot of pressure. She wasn’t sure if she was pushy yet, and the next contraction she breathed through without that pressure. So we waited a bit longer.

DeAnne asked me if there were breaks in transition and I told her there were, but she might not notice them as much. There were always as many breaks as contractions. She sat upon the bench in the shower and felt pushy pressure there. DeAnn was acting more and more pushy so she got out of the shower to return to the bed and hopefully push out a baby.

Her doctor met her there and it was clear her baby was right there and ready! People came in to set up the delivery table and they did it just in time because DeAnn was pushing a short time later. She didn’t push long at all. If anything, she had to work to slow it all down at the end.

Hunter Robert was born at 12:55 am on March 25 in a whirlwind! There was shock, elation, surprise, and relief, and joy all rolled up into one big emotion! DeAnn held her son as Tyler stroked her hair out of her face. Then she cried as the emotions washed over her.  It was a beautiful first meeting.

DeAnn did not have any tears, which is a credit to her controlled pushing, even though this baby was coming fast. He wasn’t small either, weighing 8 lb. 14 oz. and measuring 21 in. long. She was settled in her bed saying goodbye to her doctor within 10 minutes of the arrival of her son. They snuggled and she unrolled him in front of her to get a good long look at all of him. And then she brought him to her breast for his first feed. His brother had some issues but from the first moment this little guy seemed to have the hang of it!

It was an honor for me to stand and serve DeAnn and Tyler in the birth of their second son. And I’m thrilled that although an induction, DeAnn had alternatives available to her that worked and helped her to avoid pitocin. Flexibility and communication make for a wonderful start to an induction or any birth, for that matter.

Alisa and Mark came to me first as students in my 7-week Birth Essentials class, and then over time became my clients. Their pregnancy journey is an odyssey in and of itself. After many years of trying and of loss, they were expecting a baby! A fun fact about their baby is that s/he is a donor embryo and is half Indian and half Peruvian. The gender was a surprise but so would the appearance! Another fun fact, Alisa and Mark are full of so many, the embryo transfer happened in the middle of pyrotechnics training, so the pregnancy started with a bang, literally and figuratively!

Last baby belly picture!

Alisa and Mark were overjoyed and a little cautiously optimistic based on their history. But it was soon clear that the pregnancy and their baby was growing well and very healthy. Alisa embraced the pregnancy discomforts as blessings and by her account really didn’t have many complaints to speak of. She was thrilled to carry her baby to term, even when some risk factors loomed larger in conversation the closer her due date came.

Throne position was Alisa’s preferred position

There were a few risk factors, but the most compelling was Alisa’s blood pressure and how it had been creeping up. She had some good readings in the last weeks, but she also had some not-so-good ones. Considering all risk factors, and their journey to get to the end of a healthy pregnancy, they felt the best decision was to agree to induction. Alisa’s due date was February 3, and Alisa was admitted for induction on January 27.

Mark putting the flying pig socks on Alisa since “baby will be born when pigs fly”

Spirits were high and Alisa was very patient, as was Mark. The process can be grueling and so very gradual, especially for a first birth and with hardly any dilation. Cervical ripeners were carefully and wisely used to help coax Alisa’s cervix to a more ready place. Medication was given for her blood pressure, and they started with two rounds of Cytotec the first night. Then extended three more doses into the first full day. Alisa even got a break to eat real food which was nice. 

By 2:00 am the second night, Alisa was feeling the contractions more and unable to sleep. She didn’t sleep all that great the first night either, truth be told. So, she was starting her labor journey exhausted. Her discomfort was getting her somewhere though, because by 6:00 am she was dilated 3 cm. This was a great change from her previous check of 1.5 cm. Knowing she had a long road ahead of her, Alisa chose an epidural for the promise of rest. Her back was also giving her a lot of pain, probably as much from the bed as from the contractions. Soon after the epidural she was dilated 4 cm. It was encouraging to see the dilation increase so soon.

While the blood pressure medication kept Alisa’s blood pressure within normal parameters, after the epidural she experienced a low drop that had her feeling awful. Once they got her balanced out and could resume Pitocin, her contractions were steady at 4 minutes apart. Alisa did a great job of keeping herself calm when things went awry and stayed the course to meeting her baby. She was no stranger to slow and steady with the eye on the prize, as had been her journey to motherhood so far.

We shifted Alisa into a myriad of positions to encourage her to dilate further as well as to bring her baby deeper into her pelvis. The Pitocin was gradually raised, with a close eye on her blood pressure and her baby’s heart rate. It had dipped on occasion and had her providers wondering if her baby would have the stamina for the many hours of labor remaining. After spending the day shiting her position into side-lying, hands and knees, flying cowgirl, and more, Alisa was dilated 5 cm. It was an incremental change, but it was a change. We put her bed into a throne position in the hopes it would bring her baby down upon her cervix and open things further. Alisa really liked that position too since she had spent so much time laying down. How invigorating it was to be upright after so long!

Mark’s careful attention to Alisa shone over the course of the labor. He was always there with empathy and love, and Alisa’s willing task master. For example, at Alisa’s request, and after much digging in bags, he placed Alisa’s flying pig socks on her feet, “since baby will be born when pigs fly.” Their sense of humor was refreshing and a big part of what kept them sane and patient throughout the process.

But by 6:00 pm, their baby’s heart rate had dipped again, several times, bringing their doctor in to assess. Alisa was dilated the same, 5 cm, and he strongly recommended a c-section. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place. Alisa needed more powerful contractions to dilate her cervix, but her baby was not responding well to the increased Pitocin. And keeping things as they were would not produce labor. Alisa and Mark advocated for more time. They wanted to be sure they were doing the right thing. And their doctor stepped away so they could process the situation.

But after seven contractions on her left side, Alisa and Mark’s baby’s heart rate dipped through every single one. Alisa’s doctor returned and said with sincerity that he strongly recommended a c-section. He was growing worried for their baby. At this point, Alisa and Mark were prepared to move forward, but Alisa just needed some quiet to process it. The Pitocin was turned off and after a short while, they mobilized to the OR.

Alisa and Mark welcomed their precious baby, a girl!, Fyfe Greta, at 8:55 pm on January 29. The doctor had music playing during the birth and Fyfe was born to Faith Hill singing “Wild One”. She came into the world with her own theme song! Fyfe weighed 7 lb. 14 oz. and had so much dark hair, just as we suspected, considering her genes. She had the cutest fuzz on her shoulders and back, and her eyelashes were incredibly long, gracing the tops of her cheeks when she closed her eyes.

After an induction process that spanned more than 70 hours, I wish I could say that the worst was over at that point. But I can’t. Alisa continued to have struggles with the immediate postpartum recovery. She hardly slept the first night and had waves of nausea that interfered with eating. Her blood pressure was not quite where it needed to be postpartum either, and required additional medical attention when it was all said and done.

However, at our postpartum visit, I was greeted by Alisa and Mark knee-deep in newborn care. They were grateful to be home, and working their way through the struggles of milk supply and making sure their baby was growing well. I could already see that Fyfe was chunking up so they were well on their way. The journey to meet their baby did not resemble the one they had expected, but the end result was always what they had dreamed of. Alisa and Mark have their healthy baby and a bright future full of promise as they watch her grow and become who she is meant to be in this world. With their loving guidance, I have no doubt she’ll have every opportunity to do just that!

Mark and Alisa are avid Lego hobbyists so of course they created a Lego family complete with Fyfe!

Haley and her husband, Spencer, were overjoyed to be expecting a baby in the winter. But they were disappointed to know that Spencer would be deployed during much of the pregnancy and the birth. Haley and I go to the same gym and were brought together by one of the coaches there. I am so thankful for her doula matchmaking help because Haley was such a joy to serve.

In the last month or so of the pregnancy, after everything had been proceeding normally, Haley got the shocking news that her baby was in the breech position. This can be very disheartening since in our birth community it means the baby would be born by c-section. I mentioned some things Haley might try to encourage her baby to turn, however, she had already accepted the situation and trusted that her baby knew best what position to be in. Plus, she trusted the recommendation of her doctors and appreciated the benefits of securing support for the day of the birth. Thankfully, Haley’s parents do not live far from her home so she rested in the confidence that they would be available to help in the early weeks and months, as she waited for Spencer’s return.

Haley and her mom arrived at the hospital bright and early, and I joined them a short time later. Haley’s time waiting in triage wasn’t smooth sailing. It took three different tries to get the iv established and the more she thought about the c-section approaching, the more anxious she felt inside. Her nurse was perfectly paired for her since her husband is on the same ship as Haley’s husband. She reassured her and represented a connection to Spencer, in a way.

An ultrasound that morning by Haley’s doctor confirmed that her baby boy was decidedly breech and had not budged. The anesthesiologist came in as did the CRNA, to introduce themselves and explain the spinal process and to answer any questions. The surgical assistant came in as well. But right around the time everyone had stopped by, the thought of the c-section became very real, and Haley had to process some nervous emotions. She steadied her breathing and tried to focus on the fact that she would be meeting her baby very soon, and she was able to calm herself to the point of being ready.

Haley walked back to the OR, flanked by members of her medical team, as her mom sat ready for when they called her in a short time later. Haley recounted her baby’s birth as a very emotional moment. There were tears from both Haley and her mom as they heard Hayden’ Brooks’ first cry! Haley was more happy than sad, but she wished her husband, Spencer, could have been there to experience that moment too. There was also a funny moment when her doctor was pulling him out, “There’s a butt, and there’s poop!” Hayden’s plumbing was working right from the start, and he was very much breech!

Haley recognized some family resemblances in Hayden’s grumpy face, and he had a decent amount of hair too, And he looked very much like his daddy. He was absolutely perfect and weighed in at 8 lb. 4 oz. and was 20.5 in. long.

Hayden was latched for the first time when he was ready, and he is still nursing well, over a month later. Now the countdown has turned from baby’s arrival to counting down to when daddy comes home! Haley and Hayden are very excited for that day! In the meantime, I am so proud of Haley for trusting her gut and her doctor and listening to her body in the early postpartum weeks to insure she heals well and being a downright awesome new mom while her husband is away! She is amazing!

Joy and Dirk welcomed their third baby, Glawen Margaret, on January 14, 2023. Our initial interview was over video chat as I was driving to visit family over the Christmas holiday! In fact, our prenatal was also virtual. So, the first time I met Joy and Dirk, was on the day of the birth. Since they had just moved to the area, it was more important to Joy that Dirk stayed home with the other children so she could feel confident that they were well taken care of. She knew it would help her labor progress. When her labor began, the plan was for Dirk to drive her with the children, and then return home when I arrived. This was a unique situation but was what Joy needed in her birth. That is what good support looked like to her.

Joy felt her first contractions on January 13, the day they planned to move from their Williamsburg home to Virginia Beach! So she sat in the car feeling waves of contractions as they literally moved to their new home. Joy also had an induction scheduled for the very next day, but it became clear she would not need it. I got an update a few hours in and then nothing until 2:00 am, telling me she was on her way to the hospital. Her first exam revealed she had done a lot of work that day because she was dilated 5 cm. Needless to say, Joy and Dirk were very relieved they made it to Virginia Beach before it was time to go to the hospital! I arrived soon after they texted me with the update.

By the time Joy was out of triage and in her rightful labor and delivery room, she was ready to get an epidural. It was always part of her plan, but she did consider waiting longer since she felt more confident with her contractions this time around. I remember Joy telling me she felt more confident with me there. But then there was one particularly strong contraction that reminded her that she really did want the epidural, so the anesthesiologist was paged to come and Joy was able to get her pain managed soon after that.

 We continued to move Joy into various positions while also encouraging rest. But it wasn’t too soon after the epidural that Joy said, “Oh! There’s something!” Her water had broken! It was 4:35 am. Her nurse hadn’t even placed the bladder catheter yet, so she went ahead and did that and confirmed that Joy was dilated 7 cm. Her cervix was very thin, and her baby was at -2 station. It felt like there was some time, but with multips (women who have previously given birth) you really never know! Their cervixes can stretch like a rubber band.

And at 6:00 am, Joy was already completely dilated. Her doctor came in and noticed there was a fore bag so she broke that with Joy’s consent. We positioned the bed like a throne to encourage Joy to use gravity to bring her baby down since baby was still a little high. And Joy gave her first push at 7:05 am. joy was just as her name describes, joyful and happy to be meeting her baby soon. She was sweet and positive the entire birth, come to think of it.

 And after just 15 minutes of pushing, Joy brought her daughter into the world at 7:19 am! Glawen came with the amniotic sac wrapped around her foot like an accessory, and she had a full head of dark hair. She was a beautiful baby! And she didn’t want to miss a thing, with her eyes wide open from the start! Her eyes and nose looked like her mom, but she definitely had some of her dad in her too. Glawen was the perfect size, weighing in at 7 lb. 12 oz. and 20.5 in. long. Joy snuggled her baby and hummed to her and spoke sweetly to her. She handled her with confidence and was excited for her husband and children to come meet her soon.

But first, breakfast and a nap! Joy gave birth just in time for a breakfast tray to be delivered! So she enjoyed some food while her baby had her first exam. Dirk arrived with the children a little while later and they were all overjoyed to meet their newest family member. Dirk and Joy were grateful for a safe delivery during which their children were in their beds sleeping and woke up to daddy’s familiar face, knowing Joy was surrounded in support. It was a joy for me to serve Joy as she welcomed her baby and I will forever be grateful that she and Dirk trusted me to serve in his stead. And I am amazed at how carefully they mapped out their support plan, and how perfectly their baby executed it, right down to labor starting just an hour or two after pulling up to their new home.

Nikki and Will brought their sweet son, Link Mark Matthew into the world at home on January 12, 2023, which also happened to be his due date! Nikki had given birth a couple of times previously, so her body was familiar with the heaviness of a full womb and the contractions that can come and go. She reached out to me with rhythmic contractions, but they faded away. Her body was gearing up and she was not disheartened but encouraged to know her birthing time was drawing near.

She texted me on January 11 with the report that she had been feeling contractions all day and generally just yucky and suspected labor might be afoot. Steady communication was critical as I was leaving the house to teach my childbirth class a short time later. And within the hour, as I sat down in front of the couples to begin the class, a text came through that the midwives were on the way and recommended I do the same. The turnaround was quick and I was on their doorstep a short time later.

Nikki was calm and pleasant, laboring gently through her contractions in the birthing nest she had built in their bedroom. The midwives were setting up their things and the children came up to pay a visit while labor was still simmering. Will had a bubbly excitement, flitting here and there to take care of details as needed or requested by the midwives or Nikki. But he mostly kept his post right beside or in front of Nikki, making it clear he was her solid support and was there for her every step of the way.

Around 8:00 that night, labor seemed to pick up slightly. Nikki was laboring on her hands and knees and swaying her hips with the contractions. She was worried she might have called us too soon and didn’t want everyone waiting around a long time, but we reassured her it was our job and we could step out if that became prudent. We made sure Nikki had some food in her since she hadn’t eaten much all day. A plate of apple slices, dates, and Cheezits came up from the kitchen, along with some homemade bone broth. Little did we know, those morsels of food would be a critical part of her energy stores for later. And Will thought he might as well put in a grocery order too since they would soon be homebound for a bit with the newest little one.

A wave of nausea hit Nikki, but peppermint essential oil helped. She felt her baby’s hands or something moving down low and wished her baby would move them so he could make his way deeper in her pelvis and right on out. By 9:50 that night, Nikki moved her labor to the shower, and it was under the flow of the warm water that we heard her first sighs through the peaks. Her midwives made their way upstairs since there had been a change in intensity, and they were quietly present. They asked if Nikki might want the tub, but she was content with the shower. Nikki labored in there nearly an hour, taking advantage of the roomy shower to move in a variety of positions.

Will helped the kids to bed around that time, then returned to his post beside his beloved. He spoke encouragement into Nikki’s ear, praising her and telling her he loved her. Contractions were punctuated with sweet kisses on her shoulders and back. Nikki grew warmer so she took off her robe and we setup a fan. It was nearly 11:00 pm by then and the midwives gathered their supplies for delivery. Music was playing in the background, setting the stage for the birth space, and the waves of nausea continued. Will rubbed Nikki’s back and we did counter pressure off and on during contractions too.

Just past midnight, Nikki’s contractions spaced to 5-7 minutes apart, so she lay down to rest on her bed for a while. The midwives retreated downstairs and came up periodically to check on baby’s heart tones. After a couple of hours, Nikki expressed interest in the tub so her midwives began setting it up. Nikki sucked a honey stick and then descended in the warm water around 3:12 am. Her legs were tired, and she appreciated the buoyancy the tub provided. Nikki labored on her hands and knees and moved as she was able to, even lunging from side to side.

Then at 4:20, because she was curious and hopeful for information, she decided to have her cervix checked. She was dilated 4 cm, 70% effaced, and baby was at -1 station. Her midwife confirmed that baby’s position was less than optimal with his head tilted to the left, chin untucked, and lots of posterior space. It was time to incorporate some Spinning Babies. Her midwife and I came up with a plan and Nikki was all in. She would do 3 forward leaning inversions, then take a Benadryl for some therapeutic rest, and lay in right-side runners with the peanut ball between her legs. Her midwives would go home to get some rest with the promise to return as soon as things changed.

I stayed with Nikki, quietly observing, and listening for changes, while also catching a bit of rest myself. She was resting by 5:00 am but towards the end of that hour, her contractions picked back up. She said, “ouch,” with each one, until I recommended, she say the more positive “open” or “out.” She breathed slowly through each surge and continued to lay on her right until the intensity required a change. Her water broke at 6:15 am at which point we updated her midwives.

Soon after that, the contractions really ramped up, sending Nikki on all fours to better cope through them. They were suddenly long and close at almost 2 minutes long and 2 minutes apart! I called her midwives who were on their way back right away, and Will tried to add water to the tub since it had cooled.

By 6:50 am, Nikki made a pushy sound, and we knew her baby was coming very soon! Her midwives were just 3 minutes away at that point, so Nikki blew through each contraction as her baby moved lower and lower. Both midwives arrived right as Nikki made the first big pushing sounds, and they took their places in support of Nikki. She pushed instinctively for about 15 minutes with the steady feedback and support of her birth team. By 7:14 am her midwife could see baby’s head and by 7:18 baby was crowning. And at 7:22 am, their little man was born to the gleeful tears of his parents!

Link had somehow twisted his arm around his neck and over his shoulder as if he was patting his own back. Maybe he was! So, his journey out was a convoluted one for sure! After working through some fluid, he gave a lusty cry and the placenta followed in time. Nikki had absolutely no tears which was quite a feat given Link’s positioning!

He was latched by 7:54 am and Nikki and Will stared enraptured by the person they created. “You’re so fuzzy and beautiful,” she said. And Will took Link’s first selfie and sent it to big sister. The sweet words of love shared with this baby boy were so precious.

“I’m looking forward to our life together.”

“Your mom worked so hard to have you. She brought you into the world safe and with love, with so much love.”

“I love you so much, so much, so much.”

It was hard not to shed tears at the overflowing love.

Link weighed a hefty 8 lb. 15 oz. and measured 21 in. long. This only made Nikki’s feat more impressive. Women’s bodies are engineered in an amazing way! And even when our babies give us positional challenges, it’s good to know there are ways for mom to move her body to encourage her baby to do the same. When I think of this birth, I can’t help but think of love. It was woven throughout the entire thing, from the way the room was decorated and prepared, to the tender way the midwives cared for Nikki and her baby, and the sweet words and kisses exchanged between Will and Nikki. I am grateful and humbled to have been invited and trusted to bear witness to their beautiful birth journey.  

Lindsey and Alan welcomed their third child, Breckyn Larguier on January 4, 2023, which also happened to be her due date! I remember when I met with Lindsey she had a strong desire for natural childbirth, something she had not experienced with her previous two births. She felt like she could do it but wanted the added layer of support a doula provides. She and Alan also kept the gender of this baby a surprise! We had our prenatal meeting in which Alan expressed his belief that Lindsey could labor without an epidural. His solid support was a wonderful thing to see. And we all were excited to learn truly who this baby would be!

Lindsey had contractions off and on, which tends to happen with any pregnancies that aren’t the first one. In fact, on January 2nd around 9:45 pm she texted she had been feeling contractions since 2:45 that afternoon but they felt like they were getting stronger. She would reach out if things changed and had an ultrasound appointment the following day which would likely give more info.

I didn’t get an update about contractions, but the following afternoon around 3:30, Lindsey called to say her blood pressure was running high and the recommendation was induction. This was not how she hoped her birth journey would go and wondered if she could see her natural childbirth through. I encouraged her and would be ready to join her once she was having regular contractions 5 minutes apart that she couldn’t talk or walk through.

The induction plan was to start with a membrane sweep and then go from there. Lindsey’s body was already showing some signs of readiness and her cervix was opening, so her provider was hopeful it wouldn’t take much. After the sweep they started off with a dose of Cytotec and would give another dose and see if that worked.

My phone was quiet for many hours, but the Cytotec dosing is spaced far apart so I wasn’t surprised. Then Lindsey called me at 3:20 am saying, “These are getting really bad. Do you have any tricks up your sleeve?” At the time of the call, Lindsey was at her wits end and Alan was fresh out of ideas of how to help. This was the first I heard from her about contractions, so I mentioned hands and knees and possible use of the shower. Then I grabbed my bag and was on my way!

I got there about 30 minutes later. It was about 4:00 am. I knew that Lindsey was feeling overwhelmed and struggling with the intensity of her labor. I reminded her to breathe deeply and to let go of tension and fear, keeping her thoughts positive and reminded her of her strength.

Lindsey was sweaty from her labor, so I prepared a cold cloth and placed a fan nearby. She was having a lot of back pain, so I demonstrated counter pressure to Alan and warmed up my heating pad for her. Lindsey labored on her hands and knees over the cub birthing chair for about 10 minutes before her doctor came in.

It was time to check on progress and possibly break her water if Lindsey was on board with that. She was dilated 5 cm and 90% effaced and her baby’s head was at -1 station, all a very good place to be! Lindsey was courageous and ready to get things going so she gave her doctor permission to break her water. The plan was to move her labor straight to the shower.

Lindsey paused at the toilet, wondering if she had to make a bowel movement or maybe it was her baby moving lower. She couldn’t get anything out, so she went into the shower. It was 4:45 am. I put citrus essential oil on a washcloth in the shower to help energize Lindsey. She instinctively swayed her hips and leaned forward against the molded seat in the shower.

Lindsey held some tension in her shoulders, so I reminded her to drop them and to sigh low tones with her contractions. And it wasn’t 10 minutes, maybe 15, before she felt pushy. First, she felt it, then we heard it! I told Alan to let the nurse know and then we helped Lindsey out of the shower to the bed. Her nurse was is the room right away and confirmed by exam that her baby’s head was right there! (We, of course, already knew this based on Lindsey’s body and what she was feeling, but it confirmed things.)

Lindsey landed on her hands and knees on the bed and that’s where she pushed. “Make it stop,” she implored, but we told her to breathe calmly and to simply push and her baby would come. And then it would stop. It only took a couple of contractions before her sweet baby was born right into her nurse’s hands at 5:03 am! There were three nurses present and then a midwife arrived right after to see that Lindsey had done it! Her baby had a lot of dark hair and we all saw it as the nurse passed the baby through Lindsey’s legs into her arms.

Alan made the gender pronouncement, “It’s a girl! She’s the tie breaker.” He knew big sister would be so happy to have a little sister. Lindsey settled into the bed with her daughter in her arms. The look of euphoria and surprise was priceless! It’s always a special moment to witness but those looks are particularly shocked after a quick birth! The stats wouldn’t be revealed until after the magic hour, but Breckyn weighed 6 lb. 13 oz. and was 21 in. long. And for the record, Lindsey pushed without any tears!

She put the pieces of her labor together in her mind and giggled over the fact that she was modest until she got into the shower and then when she got out, she didn’t care! I loved talking through the timeline with her and Alan so they could see the time stamps of how active labor unfolded. It didn’t take long at all and she rode the crazy tornado of a labor like the strong woman she is, the strong woman she thought she was, and the strong woman she has always been. I was so proud of her, and she was proud of herself. Alan was awfully proud too. It’s worth noting also, that Lindsey felt so good she asked her nurse if she could take a shower. For the record it was just 5:20. Breckyn was only 17 minutes old!

As a doula, I am not there to guarantee a certain outcome. But I am there to support a plan and to accompany my clients on their birth journey. I hope to also help them see their own wisdom and power in their birth. It is always an honor to be present during such a vulnerable and empowering time, and when the birth unfolds in the way my clients had prepared and hoped for, that’s the icing on the birthday cake! ;)

Annah and Amos ushered in their second baby girl on December 20! Annah’s due date was December 22, which posed a bit of a challenge when it came to having her doula present. I had out of town holiday travel plans so Annah decided an induction was something she was comfortable with. She technically had gestational diabetes as well, and had been told an induction at 39 weeks was the usual course. But when a doctor at her last appointment assured her no induction would be necessary since she had kept her sugars in check and her baby wasn’t large, it threw her for a bit of a loop! Ultimately, she decided to wait a few more days before the induction to give her body and her baby the best chance to be ready for labor. So that’s what she did.

Annah went in at 7:30 am for her induction with plans to keep me posted until she was having noticeable and regular contractions. When the midwife came in to check her cervix and formulate a labor plan, she was pleasantly surprised to learn she was already 5 cm dilated! Her body was on the brink of labor, so the plan was to do a membrane sweep and then try the breast pump, with the plan for Pitocin several hours later if needed.

The pump didn’t seem to escalate labor much so the midwife broke Annah’s water at 1:30. I was there within the hour. Annah tried to walk the halls to bring on contractions, but the wireless monitor wasn’t tracing well enough, so she returned to her room and labored in various positions there. Truth be told, her contractions weren’t really getting significantly stronger so that evening it was decided that a little bit of Pitocin would help the process.

Annah was brave and courageous, knowing the Pitocin would make things more difficult. Then again, that would also bring her baby. She was surrounded in support with her husband and her mother, not to mention her doula, so she steeled herself to the task. At 6:00 pm the Pitocin began to flow at 2.0 mu.

Annah labored beside the bed leaning over the cub chair. She labored in the arms of her husband, and she felt a wave of nausea that signaled to everyone that her baby was on the way. She was in labor! We placed the fan nearby to cool her, and she labored on the ball facing Amos. He was a steady birth partner and didn’t hesitate to be “in the fire” with her.

Annah began to sigh with the peaks of her contractions, and we assured her she would be meeting her baby soon. She moved back to the bed, laying over the cub chair so she could rest between contractions, but also birth more easily. Hiccups just past 7:00 pm were an encouraging sign as well, believe it or not. But it’s true. (Burps are another good sign of labor progress.)

And at 7:22 pm Annah’s body trembled with the transition shakes. We helped her get her bottoms off and the midwife took her place at the foot of the bed, patiently waiting. Things had taken a sharp turn and Annah felt the overwhelming sensation of pressure and very strong contractions. She cried in that moment, but not in defeat, more in acknowledgement that she was doing it and it was hard work.

She pushed involuntarily and cried out to God for strength and help, and He delivered just that because Annah pushed Felicity Jean into the world at 7:43 pm, less than two hours after the Pitocin was started. That little bit of Pitocin tipped the scales to labor and her body moved rapidly in birth after that.

Annah held her sweet baby girl and felt all the feelings of euphoria and happiness she was hoping for. We helped her settle back into bed as the placenta was delivered, but not before her own mother cut the cord. We praised Annah for trusting the process and letting go of control when she needed to. Her entire journey of pregnancy and birth was an exercise in letting go of control. Just ask Annah!

Annah was struck with how tiny her baby was and even remarked on it saying, “She’s so tiny and beautiful!” It wouldn’t be official until after the magic hour in Annah’s arms, but Felicity weighed a petite 6 lb. 3 oz. Clearly, Annah managed her gestational diabetes just fine! ;) Words of love were expressed to her baby, to Amos, and right back. The love swirled around her and it was beautiful.

I loved serving this couple. They worked so beautifully together, masters at following the ebbs and flows of pregnancy and labor. The only thing we knew for sure was that we didn’t know. And sometimes that’s what makes birth so difficult. And the act of letting go was what allowed Annah’s birth to unfold, releasing her baby into her loving and patient arms.

Maybe it’s because I’m a doula and it is my job to encourage and uplift. But have you ever noticed obstetric terms and how negative and judgmental they are? The words used to describe and address the pregnant and birthing person make one feel as though they must prove that their body can birth. One might wonder if there is even a decent shot at a straightforward birth experience without a complication. What kind of backwards approach is this?

Here's what I mean. The following terms are the first to come to mind:

 Trial of labor

Geriatric pregnancy

Unproven pelvis

Incompetent cervix

Failure to progress

Arrest of labor

Arrest of descent

Failed glucose tolerance test

Unfavorable cervix

Lazy uterus

Irritable uterus

Failed induction

Rupture (of membranes)

But there are many more.

During such a vulnerable time, how then can we expect a person to feel encouraged or optimistic about their pregnancy or birth journey if they are faced with such negativity and judgement? These terms are outdated and rooted in a patriarchal medical model. Surely in 2023 we can come up with better ways to describe the pregnant and birthing body!

One can argue that the labor and delivery unit is the one area of the hospital in which there often is no true need for medical intervention. It’s more of a just in case location in which to give birth. Things might (and often) proceed safely without medical assistance. But even if complications do arise, it should not connote failure or incompetence on the part of the woman or her body.

There are so many variables at play in every single birth, even in the same birthing person. Birth by its very nature is inherently unpredictable. The failure to control, plan, or contain it is part of the miracle of the process. It is a humble reminder that the power of the human force of birth will always retain an element of mystery. And the person birthing should be encouraged and uplifted in the way they are addressed, and in the words used to describe their body and the details of their birth.

 The failure lies in the incompetent verbiage used to describe the life-giving force of pregnancy and birth. Shame on the medical patriarchal model for the negative and judgmental terms that leave a sense of performance anxiety in their wake. It’s an embarrassment. These terms need to change.