The Birth of Link Mark Matthew 1/12/23

Nikki and Will brought their sweet son, Link Mark Matthew into the world at home on January 12, 2023, which also happened to be his due date! Nikki had given birth a couple of times previously, so her body was familiar with the heaviness of a full womb and the contractions that can come and go. She reached out to me with rhythmic contractions, but they faded away. Her body was gearing up and she was not disheartened but encouraged to know her birthing time was drawing near.

She texted me on January 11 with the report that she had been feeling contractions all day and generally just yucky and suspected labor might be afoot. Steady communication was critical as I was leaving the house to teach my childbirth class a short time later. And within the hour, as I sat down in front of the couples to begin the class, a text came through that the midwives were on the way and recommended I do the same. The turnaround was quick and I was on their doorstep a short time later.

Nikki was calm and pleasant, laboring gently through her contractions in the birthing nest she had built in their bedroom. The midwives were setting up their things and the children came up to pay a visit while labor was still simmering. Will had a bubbly excitement, flitting here and there to take care of details as needed or requested by the midwives or Nikki. But he mostly kept his post right beside or in front of Nikki, making it clear he was her solid support and was there for her every step of the way.

Around 8:00 that night, labor seemed to pick up slightly. Nikki was laboring on her hands and knees and swaying her hips with the contractions. She was worried she might have called us too soon and didn’t want everyone waiting around a long time, but we reassured her it was our job and we could step out if that became prudent. We made sure Nikki had some food in her since she hadn’t eaten much all day. A plate of apple slices, dates, and Cheezits came up from the kitchen, along with some homemade bone broth. Little did we know, those morsels of food would be a critical part of her energy stores for later. And Will thought he might as well put in a grocery order too since they would soon be homebound for a bit with the newest little one.

A wave of nausea hit Nikki, but peppermint essential oil helped. She felt her baby’s hands or something moving down low and wished her baby would move them so he could make his way deeper in her pelvis and right on out. By 9:50 that night, Nikki moved her labor to the shower, and it was under the flow of the warm water that we heard her first sighs through the peaks. Her midwives made their way upstairs since there had been a change in intensity, and they were quietly present. They asked if Nikki might want the tub, but she was content with the shower. Nikki labored in there nearly an hour, taking advantage of the roomy shower to move in a variety of positions.

Will helped the kids to bed around that time, then returned to his post beside his beloved. He spoke encouragement into Nikki’s ear, praising her and telling her he loved her. Contractions were punctuated with sweet kisses on her shoulders and back. Nikki grew warmer so she took off her robe and we setup a fan. It was nearly 11:00 pm by then and the midwives gathered their supplies for delivery. Music was playing in the background, setting the stage for the birth space, and the waves of nausea continued. Will rubbed Nikki’s back and we did counter pressure off and on during contractions too.

Just past midnight, Nikki’s contractions spaced to 5-7 minutes apart, so she lay down to rest on her bed for a while. The midwives retreated downstairs and came up periodically to check on baby’s heart tones. After a couple of hours, Nikki expressed interest in the tub so her midwives began setting it up. Nikki sucked a honey stick and then descended in the warm water around 3:12 am. Her legs were tired, and she appreciated the buoyancy the tub provided. Nikki labored on her hands and knees and moved as she was able to, even lunging from side to side.

Then at 4:20, because she was curious and hopeful for information, she decided to have her cervix checked. She was dilated 4 cm, 70% effaced, and baby was at -1 station. Her midwife confirmed that baby’s position was less than optimal with his head tilted to the left, chin untucked, and lots of posterior space. It was time to incorporate some Spinning Babies. Her midwife and I came up with a plan and Nikki was all in. She would do 3 forward leaning inversions, then take a Benadryl for some therapeutic rest, and lay in right-side runners with the peanut ball between her legs. Her midwives would go home to get some rest with the promise to return as soon as things changed.

I stayed with Nikki, quietly observing, and listening for changes, while also catching a bit of rest myself. She was resting by 5:00 am but towards the end of that hour, her contractions picked back up. She said, “ouch,” with each one, until I recommended, she say the more positive “open” or “out.” She breathed slowly through each surge and continued to lay on her right until the intensity required a change. Her water broke at 6:15 am at which point we updated her midwives.

Soon after that, the contractions really ramped up, sending Nikki on all fours to better cope through them. They were suddenly long and close at almost 2 minutes long and 2 minutes apart! I called her midwives who were on their way back right away, and Will tried to add water to the tub since it had cooled.

By 6:50 am, Nikki made a pushy sound, and we knew her baby was coming very soon! Her midwives were just 3 minutes away at that point, so Nikki blew through each contraction as her baby moved lower and lower. Both midwives arrived right as Nikki made the first big pushing sounds, and they took their places in support of Nikki. She pushed instinctively for about 15 minutes with the steady feedback and support of her birth team. By 7:14 am her midwife could see baby’s head and by 7:18 baby was crowning. And at 7:22 am, their little man was born to the gleeful tears of his parents!

Link had somehow twisted his arm around his neck and over his shoulder as if he was patting his own back. Maybe he was! So, his journey out was a convoluted one for sure! After working through some fluid, he gave a lusty cry and the placenta followed in time. Nikki had absolutely no tears which was quite a feat given Link’s positioning!

He was latched by 7:54 am and Nikki and Will stared enraptured by the person they created. “You’re so fuzzy and beautiful,” she said. And Will took Link’s first selfie and sent it to big sister. The sweet words of love shared with this baby boy were so precious.

“I’m looking forward to our life together.”

“Your mom worked so hard to have you. She brought you into the world safe and with love, with so much love.”

“I love you so much, so much, so much.”

It was hard not to shed tears at the overflowing love.

Link weighed a hefty 8 lb. 15 oz. and measured 21 in. long. This only made Nikki’s feat more impressive. Women’s bodies are engineered in an amazing way! And even when our babies give us positional challenges, it’s good to know there are ways for mom to move her body to encourage her baby to do the same. When I think of this birth, I can’t help but think of love. It was woven throughout the entire thing, from the way the room was decorated and prepared, to the tender way the midwives cared for Nikki and her baby, and the sweet words and kisses exchanged between Will and Nikki. I am grateful and humbled to have been invited and trusted to bear witness to their beautiful birth journey.