Elyse and Tony, and furry big brother, Cash, welcomed Arbor Leo into the world on April 30, 2022, a day or two shy of the due date. Elyse knew early on that she desired a homebirth and she sought out the midwife with whom she felt most comfortable. She and Tony are easy going types, so I didn’t hear a lot from her over the pregnancy. They attended my Birth Essentials 7-week class and prepared for what to expect that way. But when we met up for our prenatal visit, it was a very casual meeting. It felt more like friends hanging out. When we parted, we were excited for when we would come together to usher in their sweet new person whose gender was yet to be revealed.

She texted me on April 29 just before 4:00 pm to tell me her water broke. Of course, the likelihood of it being the start of labor is less than 10% but it happened! And it was a continuous drip so no mistaking it. She was crampy from the start, and we were all excited that her body responded with contractions almost immediately. By 8:30 that night, just 4 hours in, her contractions were getting stronger and lasting 40 seconds, and coming every 2:45.

Her midwife recommended she do the Miles Circuit, a mighty fine suggestion. And a couple of hours later once it was completed, Elyse texted that her surges had migrated to a minute long and coming 4:45 apart. They were stronger too, bringing the strongest pressure in her lower back and bottom.

An hour later, after taking some time in the shower, her contractions were lasting over a minute and steady at 5 minutes apart. Her plan was to rest a bit, but an hour later she texted to say she couldn’t rest with the intensity. She wasn’t quite ready for me to come. Elyse was allowing Tony to sleep as she breathed through her surges and waited for them to reach the next level. Her midwife was confident in waiting to hear from me after checking in on things before coming. It was nice to know she had that trust in us. Elyse’s plan was to wait an hour and reach out.

Another hour passed, and things had kicked up another notch and she was ready for me to come. The time was about 2:00 am and I was there by 2:20. Tony led me to Elyse who was laboring in the baby’s room with her dog by her side. This would be the image throughout labor. Elyse breathing through contractions and Cash the Dog nearby. She breathed calmly through a surge, leaning over the ottoman for the rocker. And when the contraction faded, Elyse sat back up, opened her eyes, and greeted me with a smile.

It is always an honor to be invited into someone’s intimate birthing space. But when the birthing space is the home, there is even more intimacy. Fewer people come and go, and it is truly their space. I felt welcome and part of the birth family right away. There was no need to introduce myself or educate on my role. It was very easy and natural—an extension of how our time together always goes.

I sat with Elyse for another 20 minutes. But with contractions coming at a steady 3 minutes apart, I thought it a good time to summon her midwife. They called their midwife at 2:45, right before Elyse entered the shower to labor. The shower didn’t last long. She came out to use the bathroom and decide to labor on land. Tony started the yoga playlist and Elyse returned to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet felt good to her, and I knew it would only progress things even more. We could hear her sigh through each surge, something that had changed even in the hour since I arrived.

She sat upon the CUB after that, mimicking her position. And her midwife arrived a few minutes later. Cash lay down on his new dog bed, placed beside her parents’ bed just in time for the birth and new baby. Elyse asked us what was next and what we were looking for. We simply said there would be more. More contractions, more intensity, more progress. Her midwife asked if she would like a cervical check and Elyse was curious. And her exam was a nice 5 cm. She had already done the hardest most gradual part of her labor. Her midwife said, “Elyse, that is very good!” And she began to unpack her things and get settled in the space.

Elyse asked her midwife how she thought she was coping, and her midwife said she was coping perfectly. A blood pressure check came out perfect too. Elyse felt more butt pressure as her midwife listened to baby. Elyse gently swayed through her contractions, rolling her neck and shoulders, with her hand anchored in Tony’s.

By 4:15 we could see she was working up some sweat with her contractions, so we placed a cold washcloth on her neck. Elyse grabbed her dog’s soft ear through some of the contractions, a sweet comfort measure that would not have been an option in the hospital.

As it neared 4:30, Elyse leaned forward over the CUB, feeling a lot of the discomfort in her back. She breathed deeper with her surges, so I did some counter pressure on her back. “That was intense,” escaped Elyse’s mouth as the surge drifted away. She was in active labor now. I recommended another stint in the shower and this time Elyse labored there for 30 minutes. She returned to her hands and knees position over the CUB upon the bed, and her deeper inhales and exhales told us she had progressed.

Meanwhile, the midwife and her assistant were taking care of birthing details, including filling the tub. Elyse grew hot so she took off her top. We could hear that she was feeling more pressure at the tops of her contractions so the next place she labored was the tub. She was in the water by 6:42 am and we heard some pushy sounds by 7:15 am. She paused after a surge to ask if she was getting close. And her midwife and I responded with affirmations like “It sounds like it,” and “yes!”

Right after peeking and realizing “It’s a girl!”

Elyse cried out through a contraction and her midwife asked how it was different. She felt more pressure in the front—a very good thing after the back pain—and she confessed as she reached down, “I want it to be right there.” But it wasn’t. Not yet.

Elyse asked us just before 8:00 am if she was doing anything and I assured her that she was, and that the first baby is building the birth path and takes more time. Her midwife did a cervix check then and could only feel a lip of cervix. So, she offered to push it aside as Elyse pushed. The lip at the top stayed so Elyse breathed and panted through her contractions for a bit longer.

Her midwife gave arnica and we had Elyse do lunges as she blew raspberries through the contractions. Thirty minutes later the lip was still there, so more arnica was administered. Elyse labored on her hands and knees with her bottom in the air to keep baby from applying extra pressure to her cervix that might encourage pushing too soon. And 20 minutes later, the cervix was gone. Elyse could push!

She pushed on her side, with Tony and I holding a leg for support. She then pushed on the other side. And she rotated back and forth with each contraction a bit. Her midwife felt some tightness, so she reminded Elyse not to clench and hold her baby with her strong pelvic floor. Baby’s heart rate was steady the whole time. And as Elyse pushed, she got a kiss from Tony from time to time too. That’s great for oxytocin!

Elyse ended up on her hands and knees to push and this was where her baby was born. Right there on her bed, with her partner and dog by her side, Elyse became a mother. Her baby came out with her hand by her head and the cord around her arm. Arbor was born at 10:33 am, 19 hours on the dot after Elyse’s water broke at 3:33 pm. And Tony proclaimed after getting a visual that Arbor was a girl!

Cord burning ritual done by parents and midwives

Elyse and Tony were so in awe. Elyse mentioned it was all such a trip and felt like a dream. She brought her baby to her breast where she latched at 10:59, not even 30 minutes old.

Elyse birthed Arbor over an intact perineum, due largely to her control during pushing. It also didn’t hurt that there was no counting or forcing a longer push than what Elyse felt she wanted. The placenta, birthed a few minutes after Arbor, sat in a bowl beside her until they were ready to separate it. And they did so with a slow and gradual cord burning. As Elyse snuggled Arbor beside her, Tony and the midwife heated it with the candle flame and waited about 7 minutes as it sputtered and eventually separated. It was a beautiful reminder of the significance of the placenta and the work it did to sustain Arbor’s life through the pregnancy. It deserved all the time we gave it.

Arbor weighed 7 lb. 9 oz. and measured 20 in. long. She was an average size in babies which is perfect. I gathered some food from the kitchen so the new parents could get some nourishment. And the midwife even made sure Cash got some food too. It looked and felt like an ordinary Saturday morning once all our things were gathered.

It was a lovely birth spent in Elyse and Tony’s home. We were a true team, following Elyse’s lead and trusting her body and her feelings. It was a joy to serve them and to have the bonus opportunity to finally attend a birth with this midwife whom I’ve known for years. It felt comfortable. All of it. So lovely.

The Birth of Arbor Leo 4/30/22