Elyse and Tony welcomed their second daughter, a second surprise gender, in their second homebirth on Saturday, October 14. Repeat clients are a wonderful opportunity for me to develop an even deeper relationship through multiple births. And Elyse and Tony were no different. The text of the pregnancy was the foray through which our second journey began, and I didn’t hear much from Elyse until we were coordinating our prenatal visit many months (and two seasons) later! The team would be the same – same midwife and same doula We were excited for the reunion that would occur when their newest little love entered the world.

Elyse welcomed her first baby a couple of weeks before her due date so when she approached her due date with this one she felt overdue. Thankfully, the text came through on October 14 at 7:15 am that Elyse’s water broke at 5:30 am! Her water broke at the start of her first labor so it was a conveniently obvious way to signal her baby was coming at some point that day. It was especially helpful considering they had a toddler to contend with and eventually have picked up so as not to be underfoot.

Elyse would update as things developed but she did feel crampy soon after her water broke. Three hours later by 10:30 am, she sent the text, “Ok things are getting a little spicy. Contractions are 3 mins apart.” She didn’t have to tell me anything more. I knew that meant it was time for me to head over.

When I arrived, Elyse was laboring on her hands and knees against the couch and her daughter was milling about while Tony took care of details, including getting their firstborn settled for a nap and reaching out to a friend to pick her up later. Elyse sipped on a smoothie between contractions. Then when a contraction rolled through she swayed on her hands and knees against the couch. In her unassuming way, Elyse greeted the intensifying cotractions with an, “Oh sheesh,” right before closing her eyes to focus.

Tony disappeared with big sister to try and settle her down for a nap but it wasn’t happening. Something about having a visitor with a large inflatable created enough of a distraction for her not to miss anything. Elyse went to the back to give it a try and managed success for a little while. Big sister was asleep by noon. Elyse continued to breathe through her contractions and add a heating pad to her lower back. She continued to coordinate momming details with Tony like making sure their daughter had food packed for when she was picked up by a friend. Tony had it all taken care of.

As labor intensified, Elyse moved to a back room to ease the transition when their friend came to pick up their toddler who was still asleep herself. Her midwife called to check on things around 1:00, asking questions about what Elyse was feeling during contractions Rectal pressure was one of the questions to which Elyse didn’t really feel. But 10 minutes later she did feel rectal pressure through a particularly strong contraction so she called her midwife to head on over. She was only 5 minutes away, it turns out, so she was on her doorstep momentarily.

Elyse rested in bed and reached for Tony’s hand at the start of a strong one, and by the next contraction there was a knock on the door. Tony roused their toddler who was on her way to an adventure at a friend’s house. And like clockwork Elyse’s labor kicked up a notch. The midwife arrived a couple of minutes later and the contractions became strong enough to require counter pressure on her lower back.

Elyse’s legs shook and her contractions moved from 3-4 minutes apart to 3 minutes apart and lasting 90 seconds. Elyse labored over the cub and lunged to one side through a contraction and then to the other. This is a woman who is not afraid to do physical work. Every one in a while they would lean in a listen to baby on the doppler. The heart rate was always sure and steady.

By 2:00 Elyse was exhaling more audibly through the contractions. We could tell that she was working harder. Her baby was also tracking lower in her abdomen, another good sign of labor’s progress. There was no need to check a cervix. The signs were there. As labor picked up so did the rain outside, providing a wonderful backdrop of white noise for Elyse. She continued to lunge through contractions and asked Tony to push even harder on her back.

She moved to stand up at 2:30 and continued to ask Tony to push harder. We knew Elyse was getting close. She took a trip to the bathroom and saw more evidence of cervical change. And 10 minutes later her vocalizations became louder and lower through contractions. Her midwife and the assistant moved into the room quietly. Five minutes later, Elyse had a contraction that brought on the recognizable guttural sound of pushing. Her midwife asked, “Did you feel like you were pushing?” To which Elyse responded, “Yes.” Her midwife excited but calmly said, “Cool!”

Elyse was already on the bed with Tony, so she eased onto her side and gave a push at 2:54 pm. It didn’t take long, maybe 4 contractions before her baby was born at 3:07 pm. It was a remarkable sight to see her child born because the eyes were wide open as the baby emerged to the chest and then flopped out! It wasn’t until Elyse had her baby in her arms and took a look at the undercarriage that Tony and Elyse confirmed it was another girl! After plenty of bonding and skin to skin, Revel Monroe would be weighed and measured at 7 lb. 6 oz. and 20 in. long.

There was so much vernix! Elyse dabbed it on her face like war paint. As their baby cried out, Elyse said, “It’s ok. We’re nice.” We stepped out of the room so Elyse and Tony could bond with their newest one. And after about 1 ½ hours the newborn exam ensued. Elyse also finished her smoothie, and within 2 ½ hours, big sister was home to meet her sister.  Soon after that, we served up a bowl of soup and rice with chicken for Elyse to enjoy, thanks to Tony putting it on the stove a bit earlier. We all were able to get fed that evening. Oh, the comforts of homebirth.

Revel was contentedly nursing and napping, as Tony and Elyse rested and took in their little family. We cleaned up our things and left once they were settled. All in all, it was a beautiful way to spend a rainy Saturday afternoon. And how lovely that behind their front door they welcomed a miracle. The ordinary location of an extraordinary process like giving birth elevates the home in a way like nothing else, if you ask me.

Elyse and Tony, and furry big brother, Cash, welcomed Arbor Leo into the world on April 30, 2022, a day or two shy of the due date. Elyse knew early on that she desired a homebirth and she sought out the midwife with whom she felt most comfortable. She and Tony are easy going types, so I didn’t hear a lot from her over the pregnancy. They attended my Birth Essentials 7-week class and prepared for what to expect that way. But when we met up for our prenatal visit, it was a very casual meeting. It felt more like friends hanging out. When we parted, we were excited for when we would come together to usher in their sweet new person whose gender was yet to be revealed.

She texted me on April 29 just before 4:00 pm to tell me her water broke. Of course, the likelihood of it being the start of labor is less than 10% but it happened! And it was a continuous drip so no mistaking it. She was crampy from the start, and we were all excited that her body responded with contractions almost immediately. By 8:30 that night, just 4 hours in, her contractions were getting stronger and lasting 40 seconds, and coming every 2:45.

Her midwife recommended she do the Miles Circuit, a mighty fine suggestion. And a couple of hours later once it was completed, Elyse texted that her surges had migrated to a minute long and coming 4:45 apart. They were stronger too, bringing the strongest pressure in her lower back and bottom.

An hour later, after taking some time in the shower, her contractions were lasting over a minute and steady at 5 minutes apart. Her plan was to rest a bit, but an hour later she texted to say she couldn’t rest with the intensity. She wasn’t quite ready for me to come. Elyse was allowing Tony to sleep as she breathed through her surges and waited for them to reach the next level. Her midwife was confident in waiting to hear from me after checking in on things before coming. It was nice to know she had that trust in us. Elyse’s plan was to wait an hour and reach out.

Another hour passed, and things had kicked up another notch and she was ready for me to come. The time was about 2:00 am and I was there by 2:20. Tony led me to Elyse who was laboring in the baby’s room with her dog by her side. This would be the image throughout labor. Elyse breathing through contractions and Cash the Dog nearby. She breathed calmly through a surge, leaning over the ottoman for the rocker. And when the contraction faded, Elyse sat back up, opened her eyes, and greeted me with a smile.

It is always an honor to be invited into someone’s intimate birthing space. But when the birthing space is the home, there is even more intimacy. Fewer people come and go, and it is truly their space. I felt welcome and part of the birth family right away. There was no need to introduce myself or educate on my role. It was very easy and natural—an extension of how our time together always goes.

I sat with Elyse for another 20 minutes. But with contractions coming at a steady 3 minutes apart, I thought it a good time to summon her midwife. They called their midwife at 2:45, right before Elyse entered the shower to labor. The shower didn’t last long. She came out to use the bathroom and decide to labor on land. Tony started the yoga playlist and Elyse returned to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet felt good to her, and I knew it would only progress things even more. We could hear her sigh through each surge, something that had changed even in the hour since I arrived.

She sat upon the CUB after that, mimicking her position. And her midwife arrived a few minutes later. Cash lay down on his new dog bed, placed beside her parents’ bed just in time for the birth and new baby. Elyse asked us what was next and what we were looking for. We simply said there would be more. More contractions, more intensity, more progress. Her midwife asked if she would like a cervical check and Elyse was curious. And her exam was a nice 5 cm. She had already done the hardest most gradual part of her labor. Her midwife said, “Elyse, that is very good!” And she began to unpack her things and get settled in the space.

Elyse asked her midwife how she thought she was coping, and her midwife said she was coping perfectly. A blood pressure check came out perfect too. Elyse felt more butt pressure as her midwife listened to baby. Elyse gently swayed through her contractions, rolling her neck and shoulders, with her hand anchored in Tony’s.

By 4:15 we could see she was working up some sweat with her contractions, so we placed a cold washcloth on her neck. Elyse grabbed her dog’s soft ear through some of the contractions, a sweet comfort measure that would not have been an option in the hospital.

As it neared 4:30, Elyse leaned forward over the CUB, feeling a lot of the discomfort in her back. She breathed deeper with her surges, so I did some counter pressure on her back. “That was intense,” escaped Elyse’s mouth as the surge drifted away. She was in active labor now. I recommended another stint in the shower and this time Elyse labored there for 30 minutes. She returned to her hands and knees position over the CUB upon the bed, and her deeper inhales and exhales told us she had progressed.

Meanwhile, the midwife and her assistant were taking care of birthing details, including filling the tub. Elyse grew hot so she took off her top. We could hear that she was feeling more pressure at the tops of her contractions so the next place she labored was the tub. She was in the water by 6:42 am and we heard some pushy sounds by 7:15 am. She paused after a surge to ask if she was getting close. And her midwife and I responded with affirmations like “It sounds like it,” and “yes!”

Right after peeking and realizing “It’s a girl!”

Elyse cried out through a contraction and her midwife asked how it was different. She felt more pressure in the front—a very good thing after the back pain—and she confessed as she reached down, “I want it to be right there.” But it wasn’t. Not yet.

Elyse asked us just before 8:00 am if she was doing anything and I assured her that she was, and that the first baby is building the birth path and takes more time. Her midwife did a cervix check then and could only feel a lip of cervix. So, she offered to push it aside as Elyse pushed. The lip at the top stayed so Elyse breathed and panted through her contractions for a bit longer.

Her midwife gave arnica and we had Elyse do lunges as she blew raspberries through the contractions. Thirty minutes later the lip was still there, so more arnica was administered. Elyse labored on her hands and knees with her bottom in the air to keep baby from applying extra pressure to her cervix that might encourage pushing too soon. And 20 minutes later, the cervix was gone. Elyse could push!

She pushed on her side, with Tony and I holding a leg for support. She then pushed on the other side. And she rotated back and forth with each contraction a bit. Her midwife felt some tightness, so she reminded Elyse not to clench and hold her baby with her strong pelvic floor. Baby’s heart rate was steady the whole time. And as Elyse pushed, she got a kiss from Tony from time to time too. That’s great for oxytocin!

Elyse ended up on her hands and knees to push and this was where her baby was born. Right there on her bed, with her partner and dog by her side, Elyse became a mother. Her baby came out with her hand by her head and the cord around her arm. Arbor was born at 10:33 am, 19 hours on the dot after Elyse’s water broke at 3:33 pm. And Tony proclaimed after getting a visual that Arbor was a girl!

Cord burning ritual done by parents and midwives

Elyse and Tony were so in awe. Elyse mentioned it was all such a trip and felt like a dream. She brought her baby to her breast where she latched at 10:59, not even 30 minutes old.

Elyse birthed Arbor over an intact perineum, due largely to her control during pushing. It also didn’t hurt that there was no counting or forcing a longer push than what Elyse felt she wanted. The placenta, birthed a few minutes after Arbor, sat in a bowl beside her until they were ready to separate it. And they did so with a slow and gradual cord burning. As Elyse snuggled Arbor beside her, Tony and the midwife heated it with the candle flame and waited about 7 minutes as it sputtered and eventually separated. It was a beautiful reminder of the significance of the placenta and the work it did to sustain Arbor’s life through the pregnancy. It deserved all the time we gave it.

Arbor weighed 7 lb. 9 oz. and measured 20 in. long. She was an average size in babies which is perfect. I gathered some food from the kitchen so the new parents could get some nourishment. And the midwife even made sure Cash got some food too. It looked and felt like an ordinary Saturday morning once all our things were gathered.

It was a lovely birth spent in Elyse and Tony’s home. We were a true team, following Elyse’s lead and trusting her body and her feelings. It was a joy to serve them and to have the bonus opportunity to finally attend a birth with this midwife whom I’ve known for years. It felt comfortable. All of it. So lovely.

First family selfie, Day 2