The Birth of Benjamin Phillip 10/20/22

Ashley and Luke are the proud parents of their first child, Benjamin Phillip, born on October 20, 2022. If pregnancy and birth are training grounds for parenthood, then Ashley and Luke are more than ready for any curve balls life may throw their way. When we first met, Ashley made it clear she had a strong desire for a birth free of interventions. She sought her care from a homebirth midwife because she felt so strongly about the birth she imagined for herself and her son.

Fast forward several months and Ashley was faced with the shocking realization that her little guy had settled into the breech position. She got to work doing all of the things—she and Luke took my Spinning Babies® Parent class and incorporated the daily activities and Three Balances into their regimen at home. But Benjamin was so solidly settled into the breech position he just would not budge. Ashley’s midwife knew what had to be done. Sadly, she made the recommendation that Ashley transfer her prenatal care to an ob-gyn group that could perform a safe delivery of her son. And unfortunately, in Hampton Roads that means a c-section.

Ashley only wanted the safest passage for her baby, but that wouldn’t come without a great cost to her. She mourned the change in the birth she had envisioned and began to pick up the pieces to construct the scheduled c-section birth that was laid out for her. She advocated for providers in the private sector but being that her husband was in the military, she was given only the option of the naval hospital. This only frustrated her further and required even more of the letting go that she had been doing. I was so proud of her for standing up for her beliefs and desires but also for being flexible in the midst of so many changes to her “plan”.

After some back and forth the c-section was scheduled for a day, but no specific time yet, leaving Ashley and Luke to know generally when to expect it. Ashley texted me the vague information around 2:30 pm on Thursday, October 20, knowing nothing but that the c-section would be the following day. So they continued to hold loosely to their expectations.

But two hours later at 4:35 pm their little guy flipped the script again! Ashley texted me to tell me that her water broke! While obviously a bit surprising, they realized right away the gift they had been given. Since her water had broken and her baby was breech, Ashley and Luke made the decision to go to the nearest hospital instead. It was their preferred hospital anyway, and since she was technically an obstetric emergency, it was highly likely they would admit her and take care of her.

They proceeded to the hospital around 5:00 pm, and while they waited in triage for a total of four hours, Ashley was admitted as a patient with the general expectation of a c-section sometime that night. And as if that wasn’t enough, within the hour of their time at the hospital, Ashley began to feel contractions that were uncomfortable. They grew quickly in intensity and had her using her comfort measures from the start. They were painful, making her vomit, and also had her ready to move forward with the c-section as soon as possible. An exam confirmed she was dilated 1.5 cm, so her labor had a lot more time to ramp up. She maintained her sense of humor through it all, realizing how crazy it all unfolded. And some Nubain helped her manage the contractions for a little while as she waited.

Finally, once the OR was ready for them and the surgical team was assembled, Ashley was wheeled back. Luke would join her once the spinal was in place. Once back there, they welcomed their son into the world at long last! Benjamin Phillip was born at 9:35 pm weighing 7 lb. 4.8 oz. and measuring 20.47 in. long. He was perfect, and the sight of him melted away all the potholes and crevices they had navigated on their journey to meet him. Ashley had a bad case of the shakes, so Luke held Benjamin in the OR and kept him close.

Once in their postpartum room, Benjamin had his first chance to latch, and while he tried several times, he preferred to nap on his mom. And could you blame him? He went through an ordeal just as much as his mother did. In the hours following, as Ashley processed the experience, she came to the realization that her son chose his birthday and she got some of the labor experience from her water breaking and some intense contractions to boot. And the icing on the cake was that she chose the hospital in which to give birth. Ashley was treated wonderfully and had an amazing experience. She felt cared for and heard as it should be. And she was less than 10 minutes from her home.

Ashley and Luke learned how to redirect and reevaluate, letting go of some things, and holding tight to others. They are thriving at home now as they continue to navigate parenthood and make choices that are the best for their baby. I am so proud of them. It’s tempting to emphasize the birth of a child when a woman gives birth, but there is also the birth of parents! And these two have hit the ground running in that department.