Oh boy! Or rather, oh girl! This birth journey was a surprising one! This was my second time serving Rachel and Bruce in birth, having welcomed their first baby in a close call (I got there right after baby did, and they had only been there a short while before that), we wanted to make extra certain everyone was assembled to usher their sweet Evangeline Marie into the world. Their first daughter was born in 2020 at a local hospital with all of the restrictions in place like masks and only one support person in addition to your doula. While their baby was in such a hurry Rachel hardly spent any time laboring in the hospital, she knew from that experience and the timing of the drive that she would like to welcome this baby into the world in her home.

We had our prental visit in their home, recently purchased, and looking pretty put together. Nothing like having a due date looming to get you nesting a new home in a rapid pace. Rachel had her bedroom set up and the main living areas. Her plan was to labor and birth in the tub in her bedroom with just her birth team, husband, and mother present. It would be a beautifully intimate experience and we were excited for it.

Rachel sent a text to me at 6:30 pm on October 29, right as I was leaving a birth at a local hospital, telling me she had been feeling contractions all day that seemed different than Braxton Hicks. They weren’t getting longer, stronger, or closer yet, but they reminded her of the contractions that began her previous labor. There was also some fluid that was leaking, so Rachel’s alarms were up. She alerted her midwife as well, who as luck would have it was also just getting home from a birth. So she and I planned to get some recovery rest in until Rachel said any different.

Just past 11:30 pm, Rachel texted that the past 4 to 5 contractions were picking up in intensity and lasting about a minute. I recommended she update me after an hour had passed unless they changed significantly before then. And 50 minutes later she texted that they contractions were coming every 3 minutes. This seemed a good time to hit the road, and I was on their doorstep by 12:50 am.

Bruce greeted me with a big grin, and I headed upstairs to Rachel. She was very calm and chatty, and I wondered if I might be there too soon. Her midwife was not yet there but had tasked us with letting her know when to come. This would be a tricky call to make but considering she had just been at a birth we wanted to let her rest if possible, too. (Our words, not hers.)

By 1:10 am I reached out to apply counter pressure to Rachel’s lower back through a contraction. She told us her back was bearing a lot of the contraction pain so I thought it might help. Bruce went down to the kitchen to brew some coffee and returned with two mugs and handed one to me as if I was visiting for coffee.

The pool was inflated, and Bruce had started filling it before I arrived but paused the filling to make sure the water was the right temperature once it was needed. He could add hot water when Rachel was closer to giving birth, for she certainly had a way to go based on her demeanor. Rachel breathed quietly through her contractions and chatted pleasantly between them. She even asked Bruce to bring up a snack basket for her to grab a bite to eat. Little dd we know she would have her baby in her arms about 45 minutes later.

The diffuser going, lights dim, and a labor playlist going, Rachel crawled onto the bed and labored on hands and knees there. As the time approached 2:00 am I heard Rachel exhale a quiet sigh through her contractions. It seemed prudent to time a few and see if it might be time to alert her midwife to head our way. After just 3-4 contractions, it was evident Rachel’s contractions were every 2 ½ to 3 minutes, and it was time to call her midwife. Her midwife had a 30-minute drive which didn’t seem a problem when we called. I also told Bruce to resume filling the tub so it would be ready when the midwife arrived. Rachel’s midwife said not to get in the tub until she arrived, and we wanted it ready to go.

Rachel wandered to the bathroom and when she wiped there was blood. She paused at the sink through a contraction before washing her hands. And she even posed with Bruce for one last belly photo. As Rachel returned to the bedroom she was hit with another contraction. She braced herself against the bed and said, “I feel it in my butt now,” and rolled her eyes with a nervous smile. It was 2:10 am. Rachel’s quiet sighs grew louder and longer, moving into moans. Rachel’s own mother sat on the bed beside her and reached out her hand to place it upon her daughter’s hand. This would be her first birth to attend outside of her own.

Rachel swayed beside the bed, and I could see her cheeks turning flush as her body heated up with labor. By 2:18 am she was visibly sweaty and told us of the pressure she felt. I put my fan beside her and angled it so it would catch her face with some wind. We also placed a wet washcloth on her neck. All the while I was texting her midwife updates, telling her “Things have taken a really active turn,” at 2:22 am. She still had about 15 minutes left before arriving, but it felt like it would still be enough time.

But two minutes later Rachel said she felt pushy, and then the next minute at 2:24 am her water broke. I tried to exude calm but at that moment I was pretty sure the midwife wouldn’t make it. I helped Rachel get her pants off, had Bruce put some chux pads on the bed, and suggested Rachel get on the bed in case she was about to deliver. I texted her midwife the update that her water had broken, and she was feeling pushy to which she recommended we put her on speaker phone.

We called the midwife and placed the phone right beside Rachel so she could hear her voice and get coached through the delivery, if needed. Her midwife said, “If you want to slow it down,” (I love that she said if you want to) go on your hands and knees with your head lower than your butt. We already had her in that position and had recommended blowing when she felt pushy to hold things off. Rachel blew the candles out and rested her head upon the bed with her bottom in the air. And she managed to wait for her midwife’s arrival.

Still on speaker phone, we heard her unload the car and instruct the birth assistant which bags to grab, and then they ran up the stairs to us. The midwife greeted Rachel and went right to business. “If you want a water birth, get on in there! Let’s do this!” and Rachel wasted no time getting herself in the warm water. She sank down onto her knees and leaned over the edge of the tub facing her husband. And with the very next contraction she pushed, and her midwife could feel the baby’s head. Another contraction came and Rachel brought her baby into the world. Rachel pushed for just 3 minutes and Evangeline Marie was born at 2:39 am just 3 minutes after her midwife set foot in the room.

Rachel and Bruce cried joyfully at the arrival of their second daughter, and grandma was teary too. The midwife called out for the necessary items, and they were handed to her by the birth assistant. Baby was covered with a towel and the midwife listened to her heart and breath sounds and nodded with a smile that all was perfect. Rachel lingered in the water with her baby and the placenta was born when Rachel was ready to release it. Once the placenta was out, the cord was clamped and cut. Bruce got some skin-to-skin time as we helped Rachel up out of the tub into bed.

The midwife and birth assistant stayed nearby watching over mom and baby to make sure they were transitioning well. And they were. It was quiet and gentle, and the environment in which Evangeline would spend her life. She snuggled with her mom in the bed and in a short while she was ready to latch for a feed. Then we stepped out into a nearby room to allow the new family some privacy before the newborn exam. Eventually we would learn that Evangeline weighed 8 lb. 2 oz. and was 21 ½ in. long. We also learned that Rachel had no tears, setting the stage for an easier healing process.

We lingered awhile and then went our separate ways to leave this sweet family to begin the road of recovery and life with two little girls. There was nowhere to go but sleep. And Rachel’s mom was ready to take care of big sister when she woke up, which would probably be in just an hour or so. It was a beautifully orchestrated family birth, all except for calling the midwife a bit late in the game. In my defense, Rachel’s transition was about 2 contractions, and her active labor was about 30 minutes. Those are some short stages in anybody’s book. All told it was perfectly timed though, for everyone arrived when Rachel needed them.

One might look at how things unfolded and think we came together too late and almost missed it. But you might also see that Rachel’s labor unfolded as her team arrived and she held off on birthing her baby until the final members of the birth team had arrived. The mind and heart have a strong pull on labor, even stronger than the body. Either way, it happened just as it was meant to. It’s amazing to look back on this birth and see how miraculously it all came together as calmly as Rachel labored for most of it. Truly.

Ashley and Luke are the proud parents of their first child, Benjamin Phillip, born on October 20, 2022. If pregnancy and birth are training grounds for parenthood, then Ashley and Luke are more than ready for any curve balls life may throw their way. When we first met, Ashley made it clear she had a strong desire for a birth free of interventions. She sought her care from a homebirth midwife because she felt so strongly about the birth she imagined for herself and her son.

Fast forward several months and Ashley was faced with the shocking realization that her little guy had settled into the breech position. She got to work doing all of the things—she and Luke took my Spinning Babies® Parent class and incorporated the daily activities and Three Balances into their regimen at home. But Benjamin was so solidly settled into the breech position he just would not budge. Ashley’s midwife knew what had to be done. Sadly, she made the recommendation that Ashley transfer her prenatal care to an ob-gyn group that could perform a safe delivery of her son. And unfortunately, in Hampton Roads that means a c-section.

Ashley only wanted the safest passage for her baby, but that wouldn’t come without a great cost to her. She mourned the change in the birth she had envisioned and began to pick up the pieces to construct the scheduled c-section birth that was laid out for her. She advocated for providers in the private sector but being that her husband was in the military, she was given only the option of the naval hospital. This only frustrated her further and required even more of the letting go that she had been doing. I was so proud of her for standing up for her beliefs and desires but also for being flexible in the midst of so many changes to her “plan”.

After some back and forth the c-section was scheduled for a day, but no specific time yet, leaving Ashley and Luke to know generally when to expect it. Ashley texted me the vague information around 2:30 pm on Thursday, October 20, knowing nothing but that the c-section would be the following day. So they continued to hold loosely to their expectations.

But two hours later at 4:35 pm their little guy flipped the script again! Ashley texted me to tell me that her water broke! While obviously a bit surprising, they realized right away the gift they had been given. Since her water had broken and her baby was breech, Ashley and Luke made the decision to go to the nearest hospital instead. It was their preferred hospital anyway, and since she was technically an obstetric emergency, it was highly likely they would admit her and take care of her.

They proceeded to the hospital around 5:00 pm, and while they waited in triage for a total of four hours, Ashley was admitted as a patient with the general expectation of a c-section sometime that night. And as if that wasn’t enough, within the hour of their time at the hospital, Ashley began to feel contractions that were uncomfortable. They grew quickly in intensity and had her using her comfort measures from the start. They were painful, making her vomit, and also had her ready to move forward with the c-section as soon as possible. An exam confirmed she was dilated 1.5 cm, so her labor had a lot more time to ramp up. She maintained her sense of humor through it all, realizing how crazy it all unfolded. And some Nubain helped her manage the contractions for a little while as she waited.

Finally, once the OR was ready for them and the surgical team was assembled, Ashley was wheeled back. Luke would join her once the spinal was in place. Once back there, they welcomed their son into the world at long last! Benjamin Phillip was born at 9:35 pm weighing 7 lb. 4.8 oz. and measuring 20.47 in. long. He was perfect, and the sight of him melted away all the potholes and crevices they had navigated on their journey to meet him. Ashley had a bad case of the shakes, so Luke held Benjamin in the OR and kept him close.

Once in their postpartum room, Benjamin had his first chance to latch, and while he tried several times, he preferred to nap on his mom. And could you blame him? He went through an ordeal just as much as his mother did. In the hours following, as Ashley processed the experience, she came to the realization that her son chose his birthday and she got some of the labor experience from her water breaking and some intense contractions to boot. And the icing on the cake was that she chose the hospital in which to give birth. Ashley was treated wonderfully and had an amazing experience. She felt cared for and heard as it should be. And she was less than 10 minutes from her home.

Ashley and Luke learned how to redirect and reevaluate, letting go of some things, and holding tight to others. They are thriving at home now as they continue to navigate parenthood and make choices that are the best for their baby. I am so proud of them. It’s tempting to emphasize the birth of a child when a woman gives birth, but there is also the birth of parents! And these two have hit the ground running in that department.

Tabitha and Danny welcomed their second daughter in a home birth environment on February 8, 2022. When I first met this couple, they were students in my childbirth class in preparation for the birth of their first. They were very motivated to have an unmedicated birth and had a strong belief that the body was made to grow and birth a baby with little help. But sometimes plans change, and when your water breaks and you need contractions, Pitocin is a good tool. Tabitha birthed without pain medications, even with the addition of Pitocin, so she knew she could do hard things. 

When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, very shortly after she gave birth the first time, it became very clear to her and Danny that they would rather forego the hospital experience all together. With mask mandates, required COVID tests, and restrictions on support people, their desire for a homebirth grew and grew. Tabitha found her perfect fit with a midwife who also had a birth suite available, giving the comfort of a homelike environment with a bit more space than they had at home.

We met prenatally and our conversations consisted mostly of Tabi telling me she believed she could do it, but also wondered how it would unfold without Pitocin. There was also the unknown variable of their firstborn, a spunky sweet toddler who had never been away from her mother. Tabi preferred to have her daughter present for the birth and knew Danny could take care of her if the need arose. It was up to her body and her baby as to when the time would be right for labor. And we suspected it would likely unfold when big sister was tucked away in bed asleep since she preoccupied so much of Tabi’s attention.

And sure enough, that’s what happened. Tabi went into labor before her due date just as she had the first time, with the first text to me coming in at 1:37 am on February 8. She sent a screen shot of her contraction pattern, an erratic one with short but close contractions. She didn’t feel they were very strong, so she planned to take a shower and go to bed. But those second babies tend to come into the world in a hurry and that shower can be an excellent comfort measure, perhaps a little too excellent.

Tabi emerged from the shower with much stronger contractions and her body was very changed. She managed another text to me saying, “the contractions really hurt; I’m scared and excited. I don’t know if I was sleeping between them or what, but I’m nauseous too. She wanted to cry from the pain and was groaning through most of it.” Clearly, it was time to alert the midwife and head to the birth suite. 

As she searched for her midwife’s number, and right around the time I texted it to her and she found it, her water broke. She called her midwife who told her to go, go, go right away to the birth suite. She would be waiting there. But rushing out the door is a challenge with a toddler and when you don’t quite have all the things gathered up that you need. They were out the door about 20 minutes later, and I arrived at the birth suite shortly before they did.

Her midwife and I waited at the door, and we soon saw Tabi and Danny pull up. Tami was crying, their daughter was crying, as she made her way up the front walk, clutching a towel between her legs to catch the drips. She wasn’t wearing her pants that cold night, too far into active labor to even care. She told us between contractions that she had been pushing in the car, so we helped her up the stairs into the house, a particularly difficult task at the end of her journey, and onto the bed in the birth suite.

There was no need to check a cervix to confirm it was time to push. Tabi followed her body and growled into the intensity of her contractions. Her midwife and I reminded her that she was safe and strong, and to open and soften for her baby to come. Meanwhile, I reassured big sister that mommy was growling like a bear to bring baby sister into the world. She settled down quickly in her dad’s arms, and became a junior doula, watching her mom push out her baby.

I leaned in close to Tabi, so she knew I was there. She didn’t need much from us, just our support and a hand to hold, and our faith in her ability to birth. That became our chorus to her, that she was safe and strong, and her baby was ready to come. And Tabi repeated it to us, saying, “I will open for my baby,” “I am safe,” among other encouraging words. They were wonderful self-affirmations! And she pushed so softly, bringing her baby into her midwife’s hands in a short amount of time. We heard her baby cry before her body was all the way out! She was literally born ready! And one more push brought sweet Alexis Teagan into the world at 3:07 am, in just barely 2 hours’ time.

Tabi received her daughter into her arms and lay back upon the pillow with her firstborn right beside her, petting her, and petting baby, and beaming to each of us her content at her promotion to big sister. It also didn’t hurt that mom was no longer a growling bear and was instantly returned to her normal mom self. She would remain beside her mom for several more hours, eventually falling asleep in bed beside her. Danny was next to the midwife ready to cut the umbilical cord after several minutes of pulsing. After a couple of hours, Alexis was weighed and examined so gently she didn’t even cry. Believe it or not, babies rarely cry during the homebirth exam. It's just different. Alexis weighed 5 lb. 14 oz. and measured 21 in. long.

Tabi had conquered her fear of childbirth; such a strong and independent woman in a small frame. She was powerful in her birth, claiming it for her own, just as she had imagined. When the heightened hormones of birth eased some, and details came into focus, Danny and Tabi laughed over how unprepared they were. The car seat wasn’t installed, the car was badly in need of a charge, and the red lights all conspired against them the entire drive to the birth suite.

But even with the missteps and oversights, everything came together wonderfully and peacefully. As the world slept, Tabi and Danny welcomed a miracle. And we were all the better for being present for it. After a few hours of rest at the birth suite, I got a text from another client in labor, sending me out the door an hour later. As I stole off into the early hours of the morning, Tabi and her girls were stirring with the sunrise. Their only destination was to return home to continue resting and healing they had already begun. It was beautiful how seamless the transition home was: from a homebirth in a birth suite back to home.