The Birth of Holland Louis 10/24/22

Jessie and Joe are parents, after quite a journey. They had already experienced loss, so it was very clear from the start that Jessie desired a safe journey earthside for her son. And she wouldn’t feel at ease until she had her baby in her arms. She was very determined to prepare by taking my childbirth class and enlisting my support as her doula, knowing how uncertain birth journeys can be.

The pregnancy in and of itself was a journey of trying to trust information given to them and making the best decisions for their baby. An anomaly was shown on ultrasound that had attention drawn to her son’s kidney. Then there was the late term development of gestational diabetes. Ultimately, too many converging risk factors had Jessie’s providers release her care to Maternal Fetal Medicine through EVMS at Sentara Norfolk General, our local high-risk specialists. It made it even more challenging to trust that all was well with the pregnancy and her baby. But the reassurance of receiving the most specialized care for her baby did bring some peace of mind too.

As if that wasn’t enough, in the last month of her pregnancy, Jessie’s baby was measuring surprisingly large. He was projected to weigh 11 pounds or more by the time of delivery, topping ultrasound estimation at 10 pounds at 38 weeks. This was a lot to consider and had Jessie and Joe deliberating over the recommendation of the doctors to either induce or schedule a c-section.

This was not an easy decision and Jessie weighed her options extensively. We talked through the pros and cons of each, and at the heart of her decision was the strongest desire of her heart for a healthy delivery for her son. The decision was made to have a c-section. It wasn’t as simple as planning a date however, for Jessie and Joe were at the whim of a busy hospital schedule and then the crapshoot of births that would arise that very day. But with spirits hopeful and excited, we looked forward to the day.

I pulled up to the hospital parking garage to quite a sight that morning around 6:30 am. It was a projected message lit upon the building front that said, “Be Kind.” Simultaneously the song, Hands, by Jewel was playing in my car, “In the end, only kindness matters, in the end, only kindness matters.” It felt like a sign of some sort to me as I parked.

I joined Jessie and Joe in the PACU where they were standing with all of their bags. It seemed empty there, but the reason for their waiting was because the staff had been pulled into another more urgent birth. Eventually, at 7:15 am, the nurse came in and helped get Jessie settled and on the monitor. Jessie went over her list of preferences and was received with nothing but support and reassurance that all could be met. I think it helped Jessie to feel like she had a voice that was heard, not to mention some say in the decision, even with a scheduled c-section.

The nurses changed shifts, bringing in THE birth team for Jessie and Joe. The anesthesiologist came and sat bedside to explain the process of the spinal and to answer any questions Jessie had. Her doctor came in and did the same. Then the CRNA came in as well as another doctor. It took a bit of work to get Jessie’s iv set up but eventually that was completed and all that was left was to wait.  Jessie had been bumped for a more urgent need, but by 11:33 am she finally went back to the OR.

Even setting up the spinal was harder than anticipated for Jessie, so Joe’s wait to join her was longer. But finally, at 12:11 Joe was ushered to the OR to sit beside Jessie and welcome their son into the world. At the moment of birth, everyone cried, even the anesthesiologist. After experiencing loss, there was a profound relief and a sense of peace that came when they heard the voice of their newborn son cry out. And while he didn’t weigh 11 pounds, he was close to 9 lbs, at 8 lb. 13 oz. And Jessie is a small woman, so there was a little bit of validation there as well. The c-section went well, Holland was pronounced generally healthy, but needed additional breathing support in the NICU that first day. Jessie reported that he was able to latch for the first time the very next day and was off to a great start.

Jessie continues to process the experience and mourns what her birth was not able to be. The c-section, while straightforward, was traumatizing to her, and she continues to work through that. Jessie sacrificed a lot to ensure her son was born safely and is working to pick up the pieces to complete the puzzle of her story. She is being diligent about asking for help and taking care of herself so she can be the best mom she can to Holland. And Joe has been an unfailing partner the entire time. Birth can look so many ways it’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure book. But if there was ever a heroine in the story, it is Jessie. I am so proud of her strength, discernment, sacrifice, patience, and trust, and her willingness to do the hard thing for her baby. It makes for one heck of a great mother!