This birth story has some backstory which is an important part of the journey. Jessica and Dan welcomed their fourth child on December 1, 2022. This was our fourth (and final) birth journey together which made it a bittersweet one for sure. Jessica’s births were a journey of self-discovery that originated with an ob practice with doctors in Newport News, then shifted to a Midwifery Center run by midwives in Norfolk. Her births were all unmedicated and showcased Jessica’s ability to stay calm through the most intense contractions. So, she was confident in her ability to birth wherever she might be, as long as she felt supported. Given her history and the fact that she would have to drive through a tunnel to get to her birthplace, Jessica felt most comfortable with a provider on her side of the water. This was a sensible consideration but was a leap of faith on Jessica’s part since they were new providers to her. They had midwives though, and that was her primary draw.

But Jessica experienced some red flags as her due date drew near. Her midwife pushed for an induction at 37 weeks that didn’t feel right to her. She went so far as to go to the hospital for monitoring and labs and still had to sign a paper leaving against her provider’s recommendation. But Jessica had always birthed past her due date, and she wasn’t eager to sign up for an early induction for a questionable reason. Then a week or two later, as Thanksgiving drew near, her midwife recommended scheduling an induction to avoid birthing near the holiday since there would be less midwives available. Jessica had chosen this ob group specifically for their midwives so to be told she might not have access to one in her labor was the last straw.

She reached out to me desperate for alternatives, feeling trapped in her 40th week of pregnancy with unsupportive providers. I mentioned homebirth and Jessica was open to considering it if she could find a midwife who would take her. Thankfully, she did and felt an immediate weight lifted and a sense of peace at their initial meeting. Jessica was at ease and ready to welcome her baby whenever she might decide to come. It didn’t take long to feel safe and protected, and unconditionally supported, which was a very strong reminder to her of the importance of assembling a team that you trust. She would have a homebirth. And just 11 days later that’s what she did!

It was just over a week past her due date when Jessica felt the familiar waves of contractions. It was around 6:30 pm when she sent the first text to me, but she had been feeling contractions soon after doing the Miles Circuit as recommended by her midwife. She was wise to have the children and dog head to her parents’ house close-by for the night, knowing she would likely be giving birth. I didn’t hear from her for nearly four hours and then a call came in from Dan telling me Jessica was breathing through strong contractions and very focused. This is significant for Jessica and meant she was in active labor, so I was out the door and got to their house by 11:30. (The drive was a long one, given the tunnel, but I was grateful to have made it!)

Her midwife was not yet there and after watching Jessica through just a couple of contractions I knew it was time to call and fill the tub. Dan was on it, and he let the midwife know it was go-time and got to work filling the tub. In the meantime, I remained with Jessica. She breathed with a sigh through her contractions, clutching the headboard of her bed, and trembling through the peaks. She looked to be in transition or very nearly there. This was moving quickly!

She tried a bathroom trip and took several contractions to get there and back. Her contractions were lasting 90 seconds and 3 minutes apart, leaving her with a very short recovery. A cold cloth on her neck and a fan nearby gave slight relief, but her sweat revealed her strong work. Her midwife arrived with her assistant by 11:50 pm, just 20 minutes after me. Jessica stood beside the bed through some contractions and immediately felt pressure down low. Her midwife got her things set up and they paid a visit upstairs to Jessica in the bedroom to greet her and check on baby.

Jessica was in labor land, looking disoriented and tired in between her contractions. Around 12:15 am she asked me, “If they don’t check you how do they know you can get in the tub?” I smiled at her innocent question and reassured her that there were other ways to know. I reminded her that if she felt stinging and burning and that would be her baby’s head. Three minutes later, Jessica felt her baby’s head there.

She made her way slowly down the stairs to the birth tub as the second birth assistant arrived, and she sank down in the water. The tub was situated beside the Christmas tree and made for a lovely backdrop for birthing a baby on December 1. While in the tub, we made sure Jessica took sips of her electrolyte drink prepared by Dan, and we kept a cold cloth and fan nearby. It was little things we did, but the significance behind it all was that we believed in her and trusted her.

Jessica lay back in the tub, eyes closed, and breathed with each contraction. She was in tune with her body and literally breathed her baby down and out. Her midwives watched in wonder, as did we, as Jessica with hardly a sound, and ever so gradually, brought her baby lower. First there was the bulging sac which had always been broken in her previous births. Her patient midwife waited until it gave way naturally, allowing Jessica’s body to ease her baby into the world and prevent a tear.

The midwife summoned Dan close, so he was poised to catch their baby. And he leaned in with complete confidence, saying all of the right things to encourage and reassure Jessica that he saw more of their baby with every breath. And then the head came, so quietly and gently. And after three minutes, another push brought the baby into Dan’s hands at 1:12 am on 12-1-22! Dan and the midwife brought the baby up into Jessica’s waiting arms and she held her to her breast.

It was a truly wondrous birth that left every person quietly in awe. And as I sat in those first minutes it occurred to me how very differently this birth might have unfolded had Jessica not taken the leap of faith and courage to switch her care providers! It was a beautiful and gentle birth by a woman who has a quiet strength about her that I have always admired.

There was no aggressive rubbing of their baby as she made subtle sounds and moved her body in a way that verified she was breathing. And she was pink from head to toe almost immediately. She transitioned in her own way with hardly any cries in the warmth and security of her mother’s arms; a far sweeter first moments in the world than those of a typical hospital-born baby. The placenta came a short while later and remained attached until it felt like the right time to cut it, yet another unique feature that is hard to come by outside of homebirth.

When Jessica felt up to it, she did the herculean task of getting out of the tub and walking back upstairs to her bedroom. Once settled, and confirmed she had NO TEARS (the first time ever!), she watched her baby’s newborn exam occur at her feet and saw as Dan did the honors of weighing her. She weighed 8 lb. 6 oz. and was 19 in. long. The name was still being debated but they would soon settle on Esme Joy. Interestingly, Esme means ‘to love’. Partnered with Joy as a middle name, it’s the perfect name for a baby born on the first day of December in the early part of advent, in which we celebrate with joy the coming of a Savior who came to the world to teach love. In true homebirth fashion, we assured Jessica had some nourishment and hydration, cleaned up any remnants of the birth, and then took our leave so she could settle in her own bed to sleep.

I can’t imagine a more perfect way for Jessica and Dan to have rounded out the births of their four children. I am so proud of Jessica for her courage in making a last-minute change in care. I am grateful for the midwife who could take her on so late. And I will forever be honored to have accompanied Jessica and Dan in all four of their births. I hope they share their story so others may know the importance of feeling safe and supported in birth, and trust the voice that speaks to their hearts is the same voice that has a right to be heard.